Why'd you leave?

Arana Holland is bestfriends with Harry Styles, they grew up together! Then one day he suddenly leaves and tries out for the X-Factor. With all his fame he forgets about her, she meets him at a signing and he askes her to stay with them at a beach house, but will she fall for another boys? Will he get the girl he wants? Does someone snatch her up?

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12. Judges houses?

***Months later***

Arana's P.O.V

   It's been a couple of months later. I've watched Harry perform almost every night. I would re-watch him on Youtube. I loved how he pushed for everything. I felt like he was a celebrity. Like I never knew him. I went to school alone. I felt alone and like I had no friends. I didn't know if I had friends or since Harry left I pushed them away? It was now summer break. I cried almost everynight. I wanted Harry. I wanted him to hold me and tell me I'll be ok. I wanted to him to quit the X-Factor.  I stopped eating right. I just stay in my room, waiting to get a text from Harry, saying Hey or What's up? But nothing. He must be busy. For a while he would text me after his perfomance. I didn't reply to them all. But I did most. He didn't anwser my calls or texts. Maybe he couldn't pick up the phone at rehearsal. I sit all day in my room. I don't feel good. Lately I don't know what's wrong with me. There were a couple of nights, where I felt suicidal. I haven't cut or anything...yet. Somedays I feel like I should though. I haven't looked in my Harry memory box. I should though.

   Tonight they were at bootcamp They decided who goes to the judges houses and who leaves. I was sitting on my messy bed, wrapped in blankets. I turned the T.V on, and to the channel with the X-Factor on it. Then it started. I was like 1 foot away from the T.V. My bed was pushed against my T.V stand, I got as close as I could. I saw a couple of weeks ago, he wasn't wearing his promise ring, that hurt. He took the promise off. I still had mine on, all the time.

   After an intense show fianlly they are getting rid of the extra. They are picking the few for their houses. They were on the boys. I saw Harry. My heart raced a little. The judges called all the boys's names. Harry's wasn't called. I felt a part of me die a little. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted him to go through. I wanted him to stay on his dream. I didn't want him coming back home, he's made it this far, they can't give up on him! Not right now!! I felt myself burst into tears. I saw him crying backstage, on camera. I wanted to call him and tell him he will be ok. I wanted to be there, to hug him. I wasn't... I felt like crap. This was my fault, maybe bacause I wished he not go through, he didn't? Well, I wish he went through. Whatever the circumstance!! There was a commerical break. I got a call from Anne.

"Hello?"

"Arana? Were you watching the X-Factor?"

"Yes. I am so sorry. He should have went through!"

"I know. Well. I have to go. He is probably going to call soon."

Then she hung up. That stung a bit. Knowing she will get a call and not me. I mean fair, she is his mom. But.. It still hurt. Then it came back on. I wiped my tears, waiting for the end. It was the last part of the show. Then they brought back 4 girls and 5 boys. Harry was 1/5 of the boys. They called them on stage. Then the judges said they are going through as a group. They are going through as a group?! What!?!? I saw Harry's face. He was so happy. He was ecstatic. I smiled, a bit. I was happy. I am glad he is moving up. This is why he auditioned...Right?

   After the show I stared at my phone for about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Waiting for Harry to call it. He never did. So I decided to text him.

Arana> Hey. I saw you get put into a group. That was cool! :) I am so happy for you. Keep crushing the competition!! You are all great! ;) Hope to talk to you soon! Maybe call :/ Hopefully I see you soon too! (After you win) Hope everything is perfect, do you need anything?

*57 minutes later*

Harry> I have everything. Thanks

That's all he said. He had everything. Not a yeah love to talk. Or a thanks for watching. Nothing. That was it. Wow. That killed me. That text. I would have rather him not replied to it. I turned the T.V off and snuggled in my blankets. I cried, and cried. I cried so hard my stomach hurt. I felt like throwing up, so I walked to the bathroom. I stopped when I walked by the mirror. I looked at myself. I let myself go. My hair had major split ends. My eyes, had major bags. My eyes looked swollen. I looked even smaller than usual. Like I've lost weight. My skin looked so dry. I looked like a drug addict. I knew I was bad, not this bad though.

  After realizing I look horrible, I just laid down in bed. I cried myself to sleep that night.

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