Beauty of the broken-hearted

A half year after Edward left Bella in New Moon. She is heartbroken and has no idea how to move on. Everything is just coming crashing down on her - until she hears a voice she never thought she should hear again. Will the comfort and love Alice gives her, be enough to save her and heal her broken heart? BellaxAlice. Rated M for later adult scenarios.
(I'm also Papircuts and Butterflies on Fanfiction.net

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1. Better lost than to be seen.

 

Disclaimer: The characters is rightfully owned by Stephanie Meyer.
This is only the first chapter which hasn't been edited at all. So if there's any grammar mistakes or misspellings then say so. I appreciate any help, okay? (':
And please understand that this is the first fan fiction I've ever written in English.

A half year after Edward left her in New Moon. She is heartbroken and has no idea how to move on. Everything is just coming crashing down on her - until she hears a voice she never thought she should hear again.

Chapter one

With every breath, with every day, with every nightmare, the yearning for him grew bigger and even more unbearable. It felt like years since he caressed my cheek for the last time, so gently. His lips on mine, his angelic voice. These images in my head, the memories of our finger intertwined, got me breaking down every night. And this night was no different.

I lay in my bed – just like every other night. I heard the unlocking sound of the door downstairs, knowing Charlie just got home.

He was dead worried about me, I knew that, and that made me even more miserable. Since he left, my life has been hell on earth.
It's been half a year and nothing has changed.
"Bells?"
I heard my dad's voice, calling for me. "Food's on the table, are you coming?" I had to carry on for my dad. So with ghostly movements I got out of bed and wandered down the stairs.
I must look like a mess – with the dark rings of insomnia under my eyes, the uncared-for hair and my skin, as pale as his was.
As always, we ate in silence. We fit together, me and Charlie. It was never awkward, being around each other and saying nothing at all. He knew I wasn't in the mood to talk – I haven't been for a long time.

His voice broke the silence. "Your mom called,"
I looked up from the plate. Charlie's cooking skills had never been the best, that's why I used to cook, but right after school, I just go to bed and let myself dwell in the misery.
And to be honest, what I ate wasn't my biggest concern. "Yeah?" Was all I managed to say.
"She's worried about you, you know? Well, so am I." He started. I tried to cut him off, "Dad," but he continued. "She wants you to come back. To her and Phil."
I stuttered, trying to get the words out in the right way, without sounding desperate.
"Dad, please. I want to live here -" But he interrupted me, "Bells, we both know you're not happy here. I don't know how to handle this – the whole heartbreak-thing – and I think it might be the best for you."

I had no idea what to say. I was speechless. I didn't want to leave. What if he came back?
Then I wouldn't be here and I would have wasted my last chance to get him back. No way. I left the table, my face showing how displeased I was.
"Goodnight," I muttered as I went upstairs. I heard him sigh my name but right now I was too upset to care. I changed into my comfortable pajamas, trying to calm myself down.
Of course he wouldn't send me away, right? All the way to Florida, such long way from where we had all our memories.
When he held me tight while I was drifting to sleep and I woke up to his calm, familiar voice. I could recognize his voice between a thousand others and I would give anything, do anything, just to hear it once. One word would be enough. To hear that flawless voice call out my name would be so satisfying.
I jumped into bed, it was almost 10'o'clock. I had learned from the past half year that sleep didn't come to me easily. Only the steady rhythm of his chest raising and dropping could lull her to sleep. Now all I got is the imagination.
Every night I cuddle up with my duvet, trying to find comfort by picturing that it's him holding me tight. It's all that I have left of him; the pictures in my head.
I close my eyes. Normally I would cry my heart out, but tonight I can't. I feel the throbbing hole in my chest, growing bigger every day, but right now it's numb.
Not like it's healed but more like I'm coming to accept the fact that he's not here any longer. I just hope, with all the scattered pieces of my heart, that one day I can live with the pain. Deal with it without being broken.

"But how can I when you are my first, my last and my everything?" Just as I thought no tears would come tonight, I feel the prickle behind my eyelids. I try to push it away, but it's just not working. Nothing is working anymore.
So I let them fall, the bitter tears, as they stream down my face. I squeeze the duvet closer to me as I try not to sob like a little child.
But God, how much easier it would be to be a little girl again whose biggest concern was to get mom to buy the most beautiful doll for Christmas and biggest pain was the scratch on your knee when you fell down from the tree in your backyard.
Suddenly something, someone, knocked on my window. My eyes flew open, still wet with tears, I rushed to the window. It was already too dark outside to see anything so with shaking hands I opened up the window.
A single flower of hope grew in my heart. Edward used to do stuff like that – come to me in the dark of the night just to see me. But of course it wasn't him. It couldn't be. I sighed and jumped into bed, but without knowing why, I left the window open.

"Bella?"
In the chaos of my dreams, I recognized a voice. A voice in which I found comfort and associated with a joyful smile, pixie-hair and a girlish laughter. It resounded again, the exact same voice which spoke out my name before.
Slowly I floated out of my dream-world and into the world I knew better than anything else – the real world. That world where he had left me. My eyes flickered open and if I hadn't reached out to touch her arm, I still would've thought I was dreaming. But there she was. Her skin was ice cold but the nicest thing I'd touched for so many months.

"Alice, is it really you?" I was stunned. Totally unable to do anything but stare at her with disbelief. A reassuring smile slid over her lips as she nodded.
"Yes, Bella, of course it's me – who else would it be?"

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