I'll Be Your Reason to be My Love

A backstabbing bestfriend, an abusive ex-boyfriend, a secret keeping mother, could 17 year old Evie's life be any worse? She's on the verge of falling apart until she meets Harry Styles. Even though she has no idea who he is, could he be the one to save her? Through their differences, will they ever be able to fix each other?


5. Of Harry Styles and Ex-Boyfriends


I’ll Be Your Reason to be My Love 

Chapter Five:

Of Harry Styles and Ex-Boyfriends

February 16th, 2011

I had the most amazing night with Harry yesterday. After cuddling in the tree for about fifteen more minutes, we decided to climb back down and he walked me to my house. Thankfully, by the time we got there, my mother still wasn’t home which was a blessing but yet still so curious. She couldn’t have been just food shopping for that amount of time. No one does, and trust me I know. Those stores are always so freezing and it’s winter time. So I definitely have to interrogate my mum about that.

But first, I have to drag myself out from under the covers and face another long, boring, possibly humiliating day at school. Ugh, thank God they’re having some weird teacher conference thing going on so no school for students. Those are the type of days I live for.

After I decided to get my lazy bum out of bed, throw on some old ripped jeans, a ratty t-shirt and my vans, I went to go grab my mobile to shove into my back pocket. When I tap the top right button, I notice that I had gotten a text from an unknown number. I stand by my dresser, still as I slide it open and read:

Hey, love it’s Harry…just wanted to let you know I’m taking you to Nando’s at six tonite :)

I laughed at how he used such proper grammar and spelling but then when it came to the last word he decided to use text talk. I ran my fingers through my long straight hair smoothly and stood there smiling. It dawned on me suddenly then, that we had a ‘date but so not a date’ later today. I felt a wave of excitement pulse through my body as I sighed contentedly. Now that I had motivation for today, I was feeling a little more willing to not come off as a total rhymes with witch like usual in the mornings. I noticed that he sent that text at 5:50 A.M. Wow, he got up super early. Wonder why, that’s strange . . . Nonetheless, I got a good feeling in my stomach. No school tomorrow, date tonight, life was going pretty terrific at the moment. It took me a second before I texted him back:

So romantic ;)

I smiled to myself and checked my hair once more in the mirror. I brushed through it a couple of times and noticed it had a bit of volume today. That was unusual since usually it was completely dull and flat all the time, which I hated. I fixed my long side bangs, placed on the right side of my face, and studied myself. I debated whether or not to give them a little trim. Ah, maybe later. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again; it didn’t take him long before he replied:

You know it babe!xx

Well, he obviously liked using terms of endearment quite a lot. Can’t say I didn’t enjoy them, though. I let out a small chuckle as I quickly typed:

I do, I do. So I kind of have to get to school, so shall I see you later?

Instantly he said:

Of course :) have a good day Eviexx

At this point, it may be an understatement to say that he is slowly killing me with his cuteness every second. I sighed contentedly. I forgot what it felt like to have that one smile only a boy could put on your face. Derek hadn’t done that in a while, now that I realize.

At that second, my mother called me downstairs for breakfast. As I walked down the stairs and made my way into the kitchen, I smiled a little as I typed back:

:)You too, Harry

My mother gave me a conscientious look, like she was trying to figure something out. Oh God, if I know that look she’s going to ask me—

“Who are you texting?”

Yup. Now it begins. The questioning. If I say who it is, she’ll instantly ask me where I met him, if I’m dating him and all this business I really don’t have time for at the moment. And if I don’t say who it is, she’ll ask me why am I keeping secrets from her, this is serious and how I shouldn’t do this because it will only lead to worse things down the road of the web of lies. But honestly, my mother hasn’t been around too much lately. She’s been sneaking out I know. Like last night, she didn’t get home until midnight, yeah. And last week same deal. What was going on? And I know it wasn’t work, since she turns left out the driveway to get to work but lately she’s been turning right. She definitely has a skeleton in the closet that’s just dying to come out. And if it’s not, trust me, it will sooner or later so I don’t really think she’s so innocent either.

“Annabel,” I lie. That seemed like a safe way out though it is nowhere near the truth. Annabel has been so distant and annoying, currently and I don’t want to deal with her at school today either. Blegh.

She nods like she doesn’t really believe it, but actually doesn’t care enough to press on. Perfectly fine with me.

“Why did you come home so late, last night?” I need to see if she’s going to tell me the truth or not. And if she doesn’t we definitely have something going on then.

“I was out with a colleague. Work purposes, same old,” she replied haughtily. Well. Sounded like something definitely fishy was going on here. But I didn’t have time to over analyze the situation at the moment. I will have to investigate into this further, later though. Now I had to get my arse off to school and finally face Annabel and ask what is up with her since she’s been acting strange recently, also.

Everyone’s been acting weird lately.

I didn’t have too much time to ponder my new discovery, as I was out the door, sprinting to school. It’s only a few blocks from my house so I decide to walk it. I slammed the door shut, making sure I made a noise specifically to jolt my mum since she was getting on my nerves. I hope she knows that I’m not taking her lame answer as the end of the conversation.


I have successfully avoided Annabel for as long as I could, until fifth period started. She was of course in my math class, along with our other friend Jake. Jake was the type of guy you could joke around with but still manage to have a serious, deep conversation with at the same time. He was great and we’ve been friends ever since sixth grade.

Actually, at the moment I have a bone to pick with Jake. He was the one who set me up with Derek in the first place. And granted, that lasted for a good year and half I still couldn’t get out of my head how it brutally came to an end just two days ago. Jake wasn’t in school yesterday, so this is going to be the first of he’s hearing of this, along with my blow up in debate team yesterday. He was so clueless, poor kid. But it really didn’t help that he went on holiday to the freaking Bahamas on the other side of the world in the middle of the school year. But whatever.

Right at that moment, I realize that Derek is actually in this class. He was absent yesterday too…jeez it was like don’t come to school day yesterday. Then it dawned on me that his assigned seat is directly in front of me. He would always turn around and try and distract me, cutely, from my work. I could only remember gazing into those chocolate eyes and melting, horribly.

Wait, why am I thinking about this again? I have a date tonight, I should be over this…even if it only has been two days.

But Derek was still so beautiful in my eyes. I had to stop thinking about this now though. I felt like I was on the verge of tears, and it’s then that I realize I haven’t even had a good cry about the whole thing. Well, I was beginning to become heartless. That’s terrific, just what I need. I watched the door as I saw Annabel enter, flipping her long, blonde, straight hair. She ran her fingers through it as she made eye contact with me. I kept a close eye on her as I saw her run up to me, all excited.

“EVIE!” She shouted, straight in my face.

“Standing right here, Bell, not quite deaf yet,” I joked with her. I don’t want to start an argument of any sort about the previous night so I’m just going to go along with whatever she’s telling me. She seemed super hyper, which was bad since she was already hyper as it was but today it looks like she had about five coffees in a row. Jesus, this ought to be a good show.

“Oh, oh, oh, MY GOD.” Oh Lord, I know these rants. She’s going to exclaim excitedly, have at least ten spasms, and freak for about five minutes before she actually tells me what’s up. I sink back in my seat and advert my eyes to Derek and then back at her, seeing if she’s going to take the hint. She catches on a little, but is too welled in her own excitement to say or do anything about it other than freak out on me. Whatever. I always have Jake.

Who is unaware of our breakup. And is walking over to us as we speak. Oh, God is right.

“Hey, hey, hey, lovebirds! How was the Valentine’s day?” It is then that I resist my urge to walk over to Mr. Smith’s desk, snatch that duct tape, and plant it right over his mouth. This is going to be a really awkward forty minutes. I notice Derek look back at me, a blank expression on his face and then turn to Jake.

“Oh, uh, Evie didn’t tell you, man?” Derek Harper, you are like the chewed up piece of gum underneath my desk that I accidentally placed my hand on. I seriously want to smack him across his face.

“Tell me what?” Jake said, all hyped up, expecting some big news like we got engaged or something. As if. He was so oblivious as to what was coming.

I saw Derek look back at me like, ‘are you going to tell him’ but please. If he’s going to act like I don’t have a say in this, I’m just going to keep quiet. Like I want to talk about this at the moment anyways. I turned my head to the right to look over at Annabel who was still standing beside my desk. She was still phased by whatever big news she had in store for me. God, she was frozen in place she didn’t even realize the conversation that was taking place right in front of her. She was such a blonde sometimes.

“Evie and I aren’t together anymore,” he said, quite politely, although him and Jake have been fairly close friends for a while now. Jeez, it was like he was talking to some teacher who just asked him for homework that he didn’t do, so he was trying to get by, by enlightening them with his charm. Yeah right. He flashed Jake an awkward smile, as Jake’s own smile faded into the air like dust. He stood there completely frozen, and now Annabel and Jake could be mistaken as twins by their identical mind blown look.

This day had just gotten ten times worse than I had expected it would have turned out to be.

Lord help us all. 


After that little blow up, Mr. Smith was going on and on about graphing quadratic functions and everyone was in their own little world. Annabel was still blown out of proportion with her ‘news’ that she still never stopped freaking over to tell me. Jake still had that ‘what in bloody Hell just happened while I was gone’ look slapped across his face. Derek was sitting in front of me, perfectly fine, unbothered by the whole issue. And the only thing that was on my mind was my date with Harry tonight. I had been so hung up on Derek all day today that I forgot that texting encounter Harry and I had. When Mr. Smith was getting too boring, or I was too depressed with my situation at the moment, I would look down in my bag and scroll through our conversation over and over. I considered texting him again but I felt a little strange about it. What if he didn’t want to talk to me? Or what if he was busy with his own school? Where did he go to school anyway? Where was he from?

Well I guess I’ll find all that out later tonight. I couldn’t wait. But I also couldn’t help feeling like I was being a little bipolar today. The day had gone from good, to bad, to worse, to, well I don’t even really know what anymore. I sighed heavily. It was only fifth period, and this day couldn’t possibly drag on any more than it already has been.

Oh, but it could.

At that instant, the bell rang and Annabel popped up right in front of my face. I was drew aback a bit, since I didn’t even see her appear in front of me in the first place, but that was the thing about her. She was so bouncy and fast you didn’t see it coming. “Are you going to tell me what the big news is now?”

She looked to her side, inevitably and then to the other side, making sure the room was cleared of anybody. It was just Mr. Smith walking around awkwardly behind his desk, preparing for next classes’ lessons. I glanced back at him to see if thought this was going to be a bit odd, since he would be pretending not to hear what we were saying, but would anyway and he shot me back an irritated look. Well, so much for subtlety.

“Um, are you sure you don’t want to tell me in the cafeteria?” I tried, seeing as how we obviously were not welcome in here.

“Nooooo,” she dragged on the word, like my suggestion was the worst thing in the world, “no one else can know.”

Oh, jeez. She’s about to spill some gigantic secret right in front of our math teacher, as if he didn’t think we weren’t weird enough. I watched Annabel as she gestured her fingers up to her mouth as she mimed a ‘zip the lip’ movement and threw away the ‘key.’ I nodded in response.

“I . . . oh my God, I can’t even say it!” she was completely filled on excitement and coffee, not a good mix. “I, your very bestest, amazingest, awesomest friend in the ENTIRE world, got us tickets to see ONE DIRECTION!”

Ignoring the fact that pretty much all the adjectives she used to describe herself, were in fact, not real words, I urged myself not to completely go mental. She kept me waiting for that? I gave her a very sarcastic remark, “Yeah, that would be completely amazing!” I gave her my best fake smile and laugh, “If, you know, I knew who the hell you were talking about.”

I watched in satisfaction as her face went from utterly ecstatic to completely baffled in a matter of seconds. Her face dropped entirely, and she grabbed me by my arm as she dragged me out of the barren classroom. “See you tomorrow, Mr. Smith,” she said, in a total neutral, crushed voice.

As soon as we were in the hallway, Annabel broke out into a full-on yelling voice, as if the idle chatter of the corridors weren’t enough. “Zayn Malik? Liam Payne? Niall Horan? Are any of these beautiful people even ringing the slightest of bells?”

“Uh, no?” I replied, coldly. I was not responding well to this interrogation. I deeply tried not to appear as completely zoned out as I was to her, but that was so hard to do. I felt as if I were staring into a blank surface, my head so totally in space that I don’t even realize what I’m staring at.

“What about Louis Tomlinson? Hmm? OH! OH.MY.GOD. you can not forget about Harry Styles. A personal favourite of mine, if I do say so myself . . . but who am I kidding they’re all spectacular!”

Wait what was this nonsense she was feeding me? Didn’t she realize I had no idea who she was talking about? I was so not in the mood to discuss this, since I know for the rest of the day she’s going to be nagging me about it. “Mm, that’s great Bells but can we get to lunch now?”

“Yeah!” she exclaimed, hooking my arm in hers. “Okay so, since you will be going with me to this fabulouis—SEE WHAT I DID THERE—concert, I should inform you on everything.” She tried her best to keep quiet so that no one would hear, but failed miserably. I laughed a bit at her attempt, actually. It wasn’t long before she continued, “So, what do you say you come over after school and I’ll give you the ultimate 411?”

Thank God I have plans afterschool, I think to myself. I don’t believe I could make it through another three hours of school, let alone now with Annabel’s persistent attitude. “I can’t, Bell, I’m sorry,” I said, not really sorry at all. But of course, she didn’t need to know that . . .

“What?! You never have plans after school, Eve! What are you doing?”

I looked into her blue eyes and realized that I couldn’t lie to her. Even though she was being extremely irritable lately, in the end she was still my best friend. And I trusted her with my life, so I figured it’s about time to tell her to whom I’ve been devoting all my attention to, lately.

“I have a date,” I tried, slowly.

“I’m sorry what, it sounded like you said you had a date . . . ?”

“I do. Tonight.” I smiled briefly at the floor, thinking about Harry in the back of my mind. Annabel caught my eye with a knowing look on her face. She stared at me until I looked back up at her and met her eyes. They widened as I exclaimed, “What?”

“You reaaaally like this guy, huh?” She rose a curious eyebrow and flashed me a tiny smile. When my only response was smiling like a foolish idiot she continued, “Okay, what is this boy’s name?”

“His name’s Harry,” I said, the sound of his name just brightening my day ten times more.

“HARRY STYLES?” She yelled in my face. Jeez, calm down already. I wanted to say. But of course I didn’t…

“Totally, Bells. Like, how did you guess?” It was that time of the day where my sarcasm really stands out. Annabel only scrunched up her nose at me in response and stuck out her tongue. I could tell she was getting annoyed at me, so I then started to say, “I don’t know his last name, I only just met him two days ago.”

“Didn’t you and Derek break up two days ago, though?” she inquired, her features softening with each word.

I stood there awkwardly and glanced up at the ceiling, and I let my eyes wander around the hallway as we walked from there. “Yeah. But Harry’s really sweet and I figured I’d just give it a shot because—”

“Damn, girl you work fast!” She interrupted me, causing me to slap her on the arm lightly.

“Stop it! If you knew him, you would understand,” I say lighter, defending myself and him as well. I didn’t really know what exactly I was saying, but I flipped my hair to the side to hopefully glide my way out of this completely awkward conversation that had started.

“So uh, do Jake and Derek know of your sudden spur of the moment romance?” Annabel asked me indirectly trying not to be as blunt as she was being. She turned her head to look at me and gave me the eyes. Oh.My.God. I know that look. She is definitely up to something, and whenever she has that look slapped across her face I know it’s never good.

“No, and they DON’T need to,” I stress how much I really am disliking this conversation now. What was she on about? “I wasn’t even sure if I should tell you.”

Annabel’s eyes grew even wider, if humanly possible and she made a shocked face. “What? Why?”

“I honestly don’t know where this is going exactly . . .” My voice gradually became softer and softer until it was barely above a whisper with each new word.

Annabel’s face lit up instantly at this and her jaw dropped. I watched as it slowly closed and morphed into a devilish smile. “Details, now.”

I didn’t want to tell her anything. I don’t know, I guess I was feeling especially anti-social today, it was weird and very unlike me but I guess Annabel has been pushing my buttons lately. But I really need to just suck it up and deal that she is one of my only friends who actually cares about me and I should be grateful for that. Even if she gets carried away sometimes. Regardless, I told her the entirety of the lengthy story. And when I say entirety, I mean literally every waking second. Annabel was like that, she wanted to hear absolutely everything and anything that was even remotely interesting. I told her everything from the second Derek dumped me to how Harry was acting especially weird about going out, to climbing the tree and reliving those horrible memories. It was all in the past now though, so Annabel and I got a good chuckle out of it.

“And so that’s why I can’t come to your house later,” I finished, swiftly. I contemplated whether or not to throw in a little the end just for giggles.

“Jesus, Evie, this guy sounds like your prince charming.”

“Have I mentioned that I only just met him on Valentine’s Day?” I strain.

“Only forty times.” She rolled her eyes at me and then continued, “But seriously! He sounds amazing, I think you should really get to know him tonight.”

“But, remember what I said before? About how he was acting so weird about going out?”

We had completely skipped lunch and have been circling the school for the past twelve minutes. I was hungry and would definitely regret this later but it kind of felt relieving to talk to someone about all of this.

“Evie, stop being so gosh darned paranoid and go on that date. What have you got to lose? You like him right?”

“I do, a lot, yeah. But like . . . after today . . . I’m not sure because . . .  ”

“After today, because what?”

Oh, God. Could I really say it? What’s been on my mind this entire day, what shouldn’t have been at all? What I deeply regret and hate that it’s true? What I realize now has been the core reason for my social awkwardness and moodiness today? What I really don’t want to be true but is?

“Because I’m still in love with Derek.”


Excuse me what did Evie just say?! Uh-oh. Shiznet just got real you guys!

And I’m sorry but WHAT IS UP with Evie’s mum? She’s definitely hiding something, I’ll tell ya that ;) 



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