I'll Be Your Reason to be My Love

A backstabbing bestfriend, an abusive ex-boyfriend, a secret keeping mother, could 17 year old Evie's life be any worse? She's on the verge of falling apart until she meets Harry Styles. Even though she has no idea who he is, could he be the one to save her? Through their differences, will they ever be able to fix each other?


9. Just Friends or More Than This?


I'll Be Your Reason to be My Love

Chapter Nine:

Just Friends or More Than This?

February 20th, 2011

-Reyna's Point of View-

Annabel, I think that was the blonde's name, was trying to turn me into a 'Directioner.' She was doing everything in her power to convince me that they were all amazing in their own way and were "oh my God, seriously, the best things ever!" the more I got to know her, the more I started to realize that she was definitely the type of girl that I would normally steer clear of. But she was significantly less annoying which probably was the thing that was making me stay. She had character and I was honoured by the fact that she was trying so hard for us to be friends when we just met. Besides, I really liked her friend Evie . . . though something weird was going on right now . . . maybe we could even all hang out sometime.

"Oh, and my personal favourite, One Thing! Harry's voice is that of a pure sex GOD here!" Annabel was clearly still set on turning me to the fandom of the '1D family.'

But what she didn't know was that I used to be a member.

I used to be what I guess you could call a Directioner, and I actually knew every single lyric to all these songs. I was there in the recording studio with them, after all. But all of these wonderful memories were so long ago . . .

Back when I dated Liam Payne.

Actually, 'dated' isn't the right word I'm using. We were more like soul mates and inseparable. We did everything together ever since we met on the X Factor. I was one of the contestants but I hadn't made it through to the judge's houses. That didn't break us apart, though. After I had been rejected at the X Factor, Liam was actually the one that got me singing again. It was probably my favourite thing to do, now that I think about it. Just laying around, throwing song lyrics back and forth and thinking up melodies with him.

But, ever since Simon harshly criticized my voice in that one song Rolling in the Deep. I couldn't hit that super high note and I'll never forget the words he spoke to me that day.

"What the bloody hell was that? You used to be good, but what happened? That was absolutely the worst I have ever heard. You've ruined the name Adele."

I cringed, it was still so new in my mind. If it wasn't for Liam, I would have never had the courage to start singing again. I suppose I should thank him for that. I owe any success I've gotten to him. Especially since I just auditioned to be put on a record deal with the new hot music producers, I was still awaiting a response. I really wanted to tell him, as if that would mend all the broken pieces in our now complicated relationship. To be in his arms, feeling his warm embrace around me as we would belt out the silliest lyrics together, one more time…I would honestly give anything. The way that he was so endearing and sweet and funny all at the same time . . .

But those days were long gone.

Now he was dating someone else, at least that's what I heard from all of these damn tabloids and that they were happy. Whatever. No one needed to know about my days with Liam Payne, not now, not ever.

No one. Never.

-Evie's Point of View—

"You don't want to get to know me?"

His eyes were sympathetic but I still couldn't help seeing past that and finding the cold in them. And behind that pity look on his face, believe me his eyes were ice cold. More like freezing. "Evie . . . I know I messed up bad, yeah? But can I have a second chance?"

I wanted to give him one. I really did. But I don't know what I saw in a future together with him. If there even was one. But more importantly, did I want there to be? Maybe. "How do I know you won't lie to me again?"

"You're going to have to trust me." His face was dead serious now, but I just didn't know if I could. Trust him, that is.

"I don't know if I can," I said truthfully.

His face dropped ten stories and in the heart of my soul I felt remorse when I could hear the angry cries of girls from the arena erupt. He had to get back up there and I was keeping him. This was a lot of weight on my shoulders. I watched him as he turned his head to the stadium and then back at me. His emerald eyes flashed in anxiety as he licked his lips quickly. "C'mon," he coaxed. His curls lifted from his forehead in the gusts of wind. It was quite the movie scene.

When I still neglected to respond, he even dared to begin to reach for my hands. I didn't stop him, but the jingle of my phone did. Someone was texting me. Had I been saved from this awkwardness? I unlocked my phone to see that the number wasn't a person saved in my contact list. But, I'd know that number anywhere.

It was Derek. This ought to be good.

My finger lingered over the 'open' button but I resisted my urge and shoved my phone into my back pocket, not taking my eyes off of Harry. I suddenly knew what I wanted. I walked up closer to him, my anger pushed down my throat and starting to wear off sullenly. I gave him innocent eyes as I neared close to him so that our bodies were only inches apart. I looked up to him to find that he was looking back down at me, his face a little expressionless. I guess mine looked somewhat inviting as Harry was leaning into me gradually with every passing second. I knew where he was headed for as his eyes slowly began to close. Just before his lips touched mine, I whispered quietly, "Can we just be friends?"

He stopped in his movements. His eyelids were now wide open and studied me fiercely. He took a step back and closed his parted lips and swallowed. After staring at the ground for a few minutes, he looked back up, unaffected. "Why don't you and your friends stay after and come backstage later?"

"Okay," I smiled timidly. On any other occasion, I probably would have said no. But I knew how much Annabel loved these boys and I'm sure she would love an opportunity like this.

I was only doing this for Annabel.

-Harry's Point of View-

Evie and I walked a fair distance apart from each other back to the arena. Actually, we were uncomfortably far apart.

I can't believe this was happening. She just wanted to be friends. After all we had done and been through. . . over the course of six days, anyway. I didn't want this to be happening. I actually thought we could become something and I was really starting to fall for her. She was literally all I could think about lately and now I was getting rejected. To top it all off, I have to go finish a show who we probably just lost a bunch of fans over.

It was my entire fault.

Well, I guess things would go back the same with Louis at least. I was still so unbearably mad at him for making those subtle passes at Evie. He even mentioned how fit she was to Niall and I almost fell off my rocker. This never happens to us. We always speak every day and even though we still did, something was different and we were both distant. I suppose this foolishness is over now, though.

Finally the stroll of silent awkwardness came to an end, Evie drifted off into the crowd and I hoisted myself back onstage. I realized I had some explaining to do to the fans so I took my microphone back from a strident Liam, the expression on his face actually sending chills up my spine, and walked to the front of the stage.

"Right, ehm, I'm sorry about that. The show must go on, as they say!" I tried my best to fake a smile and act cheery for the good of the crowd.

Surprisingly the whole mob of people was silent until I heard one girl scream, "Did ya get your girl, Harry?"

I couldn't answer the question. It was almost as if she was mocking me, though I know she wasn't. I just opened and closed my mouth as my lips formed into a thin line. I turned to the band and clutched my microphone tighter in my hand.

Surprisingly, I got through the majority of the concert just fine.

Just my luck, our last song was More Than This.

"I'm broken. Do you hear me? I'm blinded, 'cos you are everything I see. I'm dancin' alone…"

As Liam's verse pursued, I felt my eyes well with tears. I never felt this strongly about someone before and it felt as if I were overcome with emotion. By the time my part came around, I was completely energized for this song. I found Evie in the crowd, of course, almost immediately.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight, it just won't feel right…"I took a longer pause than I should have before continuing, almost shouting the lyrics out, "'Cos I can love you more than this, yeah, can love you more than this." I knew that it wasn't the time where I repeated the lyric, but it came to me almost naturally. I finished my part, and let Niall and Louis sing their verses.

By the time it was Zayn's part at the bridge of the song, I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't stand Evie just sitting there in the middle of the crowd, my eyes plastered on her, and me not doing anything about it. She needed to know what I actually felt for her, and what a horrible screw-up mistake I made by not telling her about all of this way sooner.

Something overpowered me to continue after my part of the chorus, interjecting into Zayn's lines. My eyes never left Evie as I sang,

"I've never had the words to say, but now I'm asking you to stay . . ." something about that line sent a roller coaster of butterflies in my stomach and a spiral of chills up my spine. So much that it empowered me to jump off of the stage and take violent steps to that one spot in the crowd I wanted to be. At this point, Zayn stopped singing along and I could only imagine what the rest of the boys were thinking. But at this moment, I didn't care. My eyes were set and I finally reached her. I studied her expression. She was a bit star-struck and a little worried, from what I could tell. With my microphone in my right hand, I grasped for Evie's in my left and I continued,

"For a little while, inside my arms. And as you close your eyes tonight, I pray that you will see the light . . . that's shining from the stars above . . . " I looked up for effect and then slowly repositioned my gaze to her. Thankfully, I'm pretty sure Liam picked up what was going on and continued his verse normally. Zayn then stepped in place of my own verse during the chorus after him. These boys were lifesavers.

Throughout the duration of the rest of the song, Evie and I's eyes were locked and I took it as a good sign that she didn't break apart our hand holding.

Maybe my luck was changing.

-Evie's Point of View-

What in hell was going on? Why was I enjoying this? Why did I like that Harry was singing directly to me in front of hundreds of girls that were watching us? What was this?

I liked him. Really, really liked him. And what he was doing right now was sweet. But that doesn't change the fact that he lied by omission.

"Harold, what do you think you're doing?"

"Making it up to you," he smirked slowly. This was no time for joking, but as my stare on him grew longer I realized that he wasn't. The other boys were finishing up the song in the background, lightly but I faintly heard it anymore. Everything was going in slow motion from this point on. Everyone was staring at us. Usually, I don't give in to peer pressure and get all nervous in front of a crowd, but tonight all the cards were on the table.

And it was my turn to place a bet.

-Harry's Point of View-

Things were going well, I thought. Evie's washed look of fear and anxiety was fading into a more distinguished expression with every waking second. Her mind was made up, I knew it.

I just hoped it was what I wanted to hear. I raised my eyebrows and lifted myself up on my tip toes and then back down again in my anticipation. She opened her mouth to speak and my stomach was a butterfly frenzy.

"I can love you more than this, too." She leaned in and kissed my lips gently and lasted for about five seconds, but believe me I didn't complain. A rush of fireworks waved through my body as I stood there, smiling like an idiot. It was reassuring to see that she was smiling back at me and I never wanted this moment to end.

Her eyes widened as she said, "Uh, I don't really know how these things work but . . . shouldn't you be back on stage closing the concert and ending with a wild hair flip or something?"

I laughed at her mocking of a cliché boy band concert, but she was right. I had a job to do! With that, I gave her a peck on the lips quickly as I saw a white light flash in our faces. I knew the media would be all over this but I didn't care. In this moment everything was perfect and nothing could ruin it.

I almost flew back onto the stage as I faced the crowd once again. I looked from side to side in heap for the boys to say something, but no one spoke. They didn't look at me either. Weird . . . I guess I was wrapping up the show tonight…alone.

"Ehm, thank you all for coming out tonight, we hope you had a really great time and sorry about all of the uh . . . situation we had earlier. And we love Doncaster!"

The crowd went wild and I turned to Louis, since we were in his hometown I figured he'd be overjoyed but I got about as much as expression from him as a brick. He was looking over the crowd, phased as if in a daydream. He ignored me when I tried to make a funny face at him. Okay, something was going on.

I had to find out what.

-Evie's Point of View-

I had to explain my state of life as I know it to Reyna. I went through the entirety of my week and what it consisted of and how this whole thing started. She seemed like a good listener, but anytime I mentioned hanging out with Harry she winced. I don't know why but it was all so peculiar. Maybe there was more to her than I thought . . . I finished my story rapidly. The crowds of teenaged girls fanned out and we stood there awkwardly as it became completely empty. Time to go backstage.

When I informed Annabel of all of this, she fainted. No, really. I had to spray vanilla scented perfume completely under her nose for her to awaken from her demented position on the dirty, linoleum floors. I even had to haul her back onto her feet. Reyna and I snapped a few pictures first, of course. The sight was just too golden.

Finally, the majority of us dragged ourselves backstage but one of us sprinted for her dear life. Typical Annabel. We eventually caught up to her to find her standing in front of a closed door, one hand steadily on the doorknob but not quite budging one bit. I gestured towards her, giving her a confused look.

"What are you doing? You just bolted over here—"

"Just open the damned door!" Reyna pretty much finished my sentence.

Annabel stared back at us, her face now ridden with fear. "You guys, I can't!"

Oh, she was in this mood. AKA, obsessive fangirl, anxiety shock attack mode.

I had enough of this, I wanted to get this awkwardness over. Now. I stomped in front of her and pulled the door open myself. And there before us stood five boys. One was eating a deep dish of pasta, scarfing it like he was never fed before. One was lying on the couch with a beanie covering most of his face, a bit of his black sideburns showed through as he tried to sleep. Another was conversing with the one called Louis (I recognised him from the other night). They all had on different, more casual looking clothes on too. Then there was Harry, sitting playing on his phone, the only one wearing the same attire from the performance. I noticed he was also kind of secluded and isolated from the other boys.

All of them too consumed in doing absolutely nothing, hadn't realized our presence so I cleared my throat. At that instant, they all looked up (except the boy sleeping on the couch) and stopped what they were doing. The boy talking to Louis was the first to speak and he kept his gaze on me.

"Are you the girl that's got Harry doing all these crazy things in the middle of performances?"

I couldn't tell if he was being serious or joking, so I stayed silent for a second, unsure of how to respond. Thankfully, Harry jumped in first. "Liam!" He went over and swatted him on the chest. I snorted quietly. "Are any of you going to be nice and introduce yourselves to Evie?"

I smiled faintly. This is going to be more awkward than I thought. "Hi," I said lightly.

The blonde boy who was eating was the first to speak. "I'm Niall! Nice to meet ya," he walked over to me and held out his hand. I shook it gently, noticing his strong Irish accent. "Who are your friends?" He looked next to me and I turned my head to the side. Reyna was standing shakily, as if frozen in place and I didn't bother to figure out what was wrong with her. Annabel of course stood there wide eyed, her jaw slightly dropped, hyperventilating.

"I'm Annabel!" she exclaimed and I was shocked. She actually found words and she said her name right. This was an improvement.

"Yeah, and this is Reyna," I said for her since she wasn't doing anything which was weird. She just was glued to one spot in the room, her eyes fascinated with the carpeting. Her head stayed down, but her eyes fluttered up to the boys, eyeing each of them for a millisecond. She flashed them a tiny smile for a minute and then resumed her previous position.

Well, all right then.

"This is Liam." The blonde boy, Niall, walked over to him and forced him to wave holding his arm and moving it up and down. Liam's gaze was fixed on Reyna and I could feel the tension flowing between the air. Something here was going on, but I didn't have much time to dwell on that. I had my own problems to think about at the moment.

As Niall walked from Liam over to the boy sleeping, he just gestured his hands to him and smirked, "Zayn." He then moved from him onto Louis. "And this is Louis."

"Hi, love. We met the other night, do'ya remember?" He smiled widely at me.

I giggled he was so subtle. "Yes, I do. Nice to see you again." I adverted his gaze and looked back down at the ground, thinking.

"YOU MET LOUIS TOMLINSON AND YOU DID NOT TELL ME?" There's the Annabel that I know.

"I'm sorry I didn't know he was 'the Louis Tomlinson' then, Bell." I mocked her.

"Okay, okay, you're forgiven, whatever," she said in her 'I don't really care right now' voice as she walked past me straight up to Louis, "hey do you think you could sign my shirt?" She whipped out a black sharpie marker and I swear it was out of nowhere. I guess she always comes prepared.

"Sure thing, babe." He smiled at her and took the sharpie as she leaned forward towards him and he signed her striped tee on the stomach area. "Ooh, stripes. Louis likey!"

She giggled. Did he always say things like that . . . ? Nevertheless, it was cute I must admit. I shrugged as Annabel went around the room asking all the boys to sign her crap.

"HARRY, oh my God. Okay, I know you're dating my friend and all but I must say you were always my favourite member of the band, you were the first one I loved so would you mind signing—"

I sighed as I tuned her out. The room was very plain. Basic white walls, black leathered couch, bags surrounding the entirety of the area . . . it was quaint. My eyes drifted to Reyna who was still acting weird. I really wanted to ask her what was up but now didn't seem like the time at all so I just remained quiet. When Annabel was done bothering these poor boys, she ran back to me and whispered in my ear.

"Now that you're dating Harry it's been confirmed that Larry Stylinson isn't real . . . I can't believe I wasted so much time of my life on that!"

"What is Larry Stylinson?" What the bloody hell was she on about . . .

"Louis and Harry! They were dating but now you screwed it all up."

"They're GAY?" I said a little too loudly. Everyone in the room stared at me and I laughed nonchalantly, nervously. Harry had his hands shoved in his pockets and gave me a confused smile.

"No, no, no, no, no! Okay so you see . . . "

After like, ten minutes of Annabel explaining to me how it's so complicated that Louis and Harry are totally in a relationship but not really in a relationship to me, things started quieting down. I figured that it was now or never to do this.

I trotted over to Harry silently, who was consumed in a game on his phone. I flipped my hair over my shoulder so that it was out of my way. "Hey, uhm . . . do you wanna get out of here?"

He jumped up and shut off his phone. I now had his full attention. "Yes! Why do you think I stayed dressed nice?"

I smiled faintly. "Okay, let's go?"

He nodded back at me. I felt a pang of guilt wash over my body in that moment. We silently managed to creep out the door and then back out into the cold, fresh night air. His hand reached for mine and he laced our fingers together and smiled sweetly. I looked up at him. He had a nice giant gleam in his bright green eyes as he smiled down at me sincerely. This was going to be hard.

He grasped onto my hand tighter. "I'm so happy things were back to the way they were. I don't want this to ever happen again."

Scratch that, this was going to be real hard.


Whoa guys a lot of things just went down so much drama!

Reyna's secret….yikes! Annabel fangirling, LOL and Evie and Harry whaat is Evie up to?

I don't know, you'll find out in chapter ten ;)

Review/Comment/Rate/Vote all that amazing good stuff pwease(: I really love hearing your thoughts!

Also I have two new fanfictions coming out shortly :)xx

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