Unfinished Business

Abby is the kind of girl who keeps to herself. This year, her senior year, everything changes, when her worst enemy, Nicole, decides to play with her old tricks again. Abby has shut that part out of her life completely. Or so she thought. Do you think she has what it takes to make it out alive in time to graduate? Or will she crumble? just like the last time it all happened.


5. (Abby and Nicole)

After I told Casey everything that happened on that unfaithful day the Nicole’s party, I have felt like I have lifted five hundred pounds of weight off my shoulders. I feel like I got the pressure off my chest and now when I see Nicole in the halls laughing at me, or I open my locker to something unpleasant I don’t hold my breath until I feel like passing out. I just take a deep breath and let her do her worst. It feels kind of good to just let her do her thing. I guess Casey and I are best friends now because I have told her my deepest, darkest memory and she still likes me for me. I never thought I would find someone who would actually care about me. But there is, and now I don’t feel so alone or useless. That also makes me happy because I think that was part of Nicole’s plan, to make me feel that way, and now I don’t.
“Well, that just sucks.” Is all Casey said to me when I told her everything, and then we spend the rest of the night doing what normal teenage girls usually do at one in the morning and gossiped until we fell asleep.
There is something wrong with my mother. I know there is because she even looks sick. Why won’t she just tell me what’s wrong? I want to know. I don’t want to wake up one morning to get ready for school and find her dead and on the kitchen floor, I want her to tell me what is wrong so I can help her get better. The other day she was even puking in the bathroom. Even if the door was shut, I still knew that she was puking because it smelled really bad and I could hear her gagging.
“Mom, are you ok?” I said through the bathroom door that one day after school. I pressed my ear up to the door to get a better hear of her when the loud sound of her gaging and liquids falling into the toilet comes through the bathroom door and into my ear. It takes her a couple of minutes to regain her breath and answer me but she finally does.
“Yes, honey, I am perfectly fine. I just ate something bad.” It also sounds like she is starting to cry by the sounds of sniffles I hear, but when I go to open the door, the door handle doesn’t turn. It’s locked.
“Mom, open the door.” I jiggle the door handle a little harder this time in anger but it doesn’t budge. “Open the door.” I say again and then I bang on the door itself trying to get her to open it, but she doesn’t.
“Sweetie, just go to school. I will be fine. It’s just the stomach flu. It will blow over in a day or so.”
“Stomach flu. Right. Mom, you have been like this for a while. I don’t believe you. Just open the door and tell me what the hell is wrong.” She makes the sounds as if she is throwing up in the toilet again and I jiggle the door handle again, this time even harder as if it will help at all.
“Don’t talk to me like that first of all. And second, just go to school! I am fine.” She says to me. I’m going to be late if I don’t leave right now so I slowly back away, my eyes glued to the door, in the hope that she will come out any second right then and there, but she doesn’t and I end up leaving.
I officially hate my chemistry class now. Every Thursday we have our weekly lab and every Thursday I dread because I have to sit there and politely ask Jason for the sodium chloride and not yell at him the slightest. I think he is waiting for me to do it, though, because every time I even try to talk to him he sort of hunches over like I am going to punch him in the face. It’s kind of reassuring to know he won’t take advantage of me anymore. But what I don’t really like is the fact that Nicole and Ashley sit across the room and stare at me and Jason intently like we are going to make up or something. I don’t really count on that ever happening, but if it keeps her happy then sure. Go ahead and stare at me.
Today is Thursday, actually, and I walk into Mr. Puckett’s classroom to find that Jason has already gotten all our needed supplies for today’s lab. I walk over to Mr. Puckett’s desk and grab the work sheet for the lab then drop my backpack off at my desk before heading over to our lab table and starting our lab. When I sit down on my usual stool, he just smiles at me before looking down at his paper to read the directions. I read the directions to myself, also.
“So,” I start off saying after we both finish reading the paper and scanning the list of materials we need, “it looks like you got everything already.”
“Yup.” He says without looking at me the slightest.
“Yeah, so I guess we can start the lab.” I reach over the pile of materials he has already collected and put an empty beaker in front of me.
“Yup.” He repeats, again not looking at me at all.
“Yup,” I copy him, not knowing at all really what I should do “is that all you know how to say? Yup?”
“Yup… I mean, no, but… I don’t know.” He stutters.
“Ok, let me just cut to the chase,” He looks up at me, a worried look in his eyes, “I don’t want to be your partner just as much as you don’t want to be mine, and these one word conversations are going to make us fail. I don’t think you want to fail, do you?”
“No, it’s just-” I stop him right there.
“Yes, I know. Nicole probably doesn’t like this arrangement, but I don’t either. She will just have to get over it. It’s not the end of the world. She will live.”
“I guess, but-” I stop him again with the wave of my free hand.
“No buts. I am not going to fail because of some ***** that cannot get over herself. Ok? Ok, well let’s get this over with, shall we?” He looks surprised that I have said all of this and honestly I am kind of surprised myself. I didn’t know I had all of that in me, but it felt good to get it all out in the open.
“You’re right. Here” He hands me the first ingredient to the compound we are making and I grab it, plopping it down into the beaker I have in front me.


“He is not doing what I think he is doing.” I say from my spot on the other side of the room in anger. Ashley looks up from her chemistry work and looks over at Jason and Abby chatting their mouths off. He is not talking to her. I told him not to. What the hell?!
“Well, it looks like he is. Sorry.” She shrugs and goes back to her work as if this situation isn’t important.
“What? You aren’t at least a little bit worried about this situation?” I sit back in my stool and cross my arms over my chest, giving her a look that says she should.
“Nicole, he is your boyfriend. Not mine.”
“But I am your best friend.”
“They are just talking. Breathe. It’s not as if they are making up or something. I mean, If I were here I would do exactly what she is probably doing right now.” She says, relaxed, and maybe she is right. I take a deep breath and grab my pencil to continue my work, but I cannot stop looking over at Jason. A small part of me feels that he still likes her. Is that stupid or what? Well, it’s not like he even liked her in the first place, right? He never told me that anyways. I look over at Abby again to see her talking away. She isn’t smiling so maybe they are just talking about the assignment. I feel the knots in my stomach forming up again from my nervousness and pull out my phone to go text him, but I think Ashley sees me because she lets out a heavy sigh and slaps her pencil down on the table. “Who are you texting, Nicole? It better not be Jason.”
“I just have to see what he is talking about. It’s bugging me.” She gives me a look as if to say I am being stupid but I don’t care. I text him anyways, asking him what he is talking about, and wait for his reply. After a couple of seconds he looks over at me, when Abby isn’t looking, over his shoulder and give me a questioning look. I wave my phone at him, mouthing at him to answer me and he turns back over to his work.
I get a text a couple more seconds later saying, “Do you expect me to do this lab with my mouth duct taped shut? I have to talk to her sometime.” It was from Jason, of course. I look up to see Ashley still staring at me with that you’re-being-stupid look of hers.
“Will you stop looking at me like that?” I say to her, stern. She puts both her hands up by her head as if to say that she will back off and says, “Sorry,” in a sort of snarky tone, and then returns back to her calculations.
“Just what are you talking about?! Answer me!” I reply back with.
“You know the faster we get this stupid lab done, the faster you can just walk over there and see for yourself just what they are talking about.” Ashley says to me, really getting on my nerves now.
“I am so not going over there.” I say to her.
“Why not? It’s not that big of a deal.”
“I’m just not, ok.” I say to her, at last. I am not going over there. If I want to talk to him he has to talk to me. I hate her for a reason and if I do, by some chance, end up over there then she will think I am thinking about forgiving her, and that is the last thing that I want.


It’s lunchtime now, thank God, at which Casey and I are debating who is better when it comes to music. I am so happy that we aren’t talking of what happened in Chemistry today. I basically told him off, but at least no one heard us talking, otherwise we both would have looked stupid over there. I did notice Nicole glaring at me and him the whole time so I am guessing that she didn’t want him talking to me in the first place. So, after I got my point across that we need to have more than one word conversations to pass the class, all that we did was the experiment, in which I have no idea what was going on. I just sat there and watched as Jason mixed everything together, and boiled the product, and then he told me what I could do, which ended up being math and equations on our papers, which he copied once he was done. I was fine with that. I didn’t want to blow up the school if I messed up anyway and he seemed to look like he knew what he was doing so I just let him go.
I am kind of surprised that Casey and I have similar taste in music, actually, and it makes me happy that we are talking of this kind of stuff because I have never really talked with anyone like this before, in years at the most.
“Christopher Drew is way cuter than Mayday Parade, though, you have to give him that.” She continues on.
“Cuter? He is beyond cuter. He is so adorable, in that kind of puppy dog way, you know.” And he is. I love Christopher Drew’s face. Too bad he’s famous, because then I could have him and I wouldn’t have such bad background stuck with me for all this time. I shake my head the push those bad thoughts away from my head and I continue on with the conversation. No matter what I do, everything seems to always loop back to that. Sometimes it is kind of annoying, yes, but I cannot seem to help it. Usually I just let my thought flow through me until they run out, but in the end it seems that they just loop back around again. I think that was Nicole’s purpose, to hurt me so much that I wouldn’t be able to get rid of the scars. I don’t know why anyone would want to do that, especially someone I thought was my friend. I try my best to stop thinking about it all and focus myself on Casey, who is currently playing with her daily peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the lunch she has every day.
“Yes. I know what you mean.” She says in reply to my comment.
“But,” I start off with, sort of talking to myself more than her just to get my thoughts straight, “Mayday Parade’s songs are deeper and more heartfelt that Chris’ songs.” I finish with and Casey goes to argue against me, but then I say, “Well, I take that back. Chris’ songs are pretty deep too.”
“Ok, let’s just say that that they are both really deep and both really cute.” She says then smiles at me.
“That sounds good, because I cannot decide between the two.” I say.
“Me neither.” She says and then takes another bite of the sandwich that she was playing with after she put it back together. There is a silence before I see the sudden movement of someone rushing towards our table and sitting down right next to me. It was Alex, of course, but it still scared me some so I jumped a little. I think he saw because he just looks at me, not blinking.
“Uh, Boo?” He says, smiling that goofy, cute smile of his.
“You don’t scare me.” I say to him, trying to defend myself, but obviously not achieving it because he just gives me that type of look that says that he knows what I said isn’t true in the slightest.
“Right, of course.” He says, and then smiles at me again. For some reason it makes me blush so I quickly look over at Casey as if she were about to say something, hopefully she will anyways, and I just sit there, avoiding eye contact with him to prevent myself from blushing any further.
“So why are you here?” Casey, thankfully, says after a couple more seconds of silence.
“Can’t I come see my little sister when I miss her without being interrogated?” Alex says, and then he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Um, not really.” She replies with.
“Wait,” I say, stopping their conversation, “Aren’t you two twins?” I look over at him but I feel my face getting hot so I just look back over at Casey again.
“Yes, and I know what you are going to say. I am definitely the oldest by almost 2 minutes.” Alex says.
“Then that really isn’t much older so she really isn’t littler than you.” I point out.
“Finally somebody gets it.” Casey says loudly and ecstatic.
“Hey Ms. Smarty-pants,” he says then pokes me in my sides making me jump on instinct, “two minutes is two minutes. I am definitely older than Casey.” Casey just looks at him like he is being stupid.
“It’s fine. You can be the oldest, but I am the smartest so it makes up for those two minutes where you beat me out.” Casey says, smiling.
“What!? I am definitely sm-” Casey stops him right there.
“Ok, let’s change the subject before this guy over here gets overzealous about this one.” I can hear Alex let out a heavy sigh as if defeated and he leans back in his chair but I still can’t seem to look over at him. What is wrong with me? He is just a guy and I can’t even look him in the eyes without getting red.
“Ok, then. So, what are you guys plans for the weekend? You gonna do some sibling bonding time?” I say jokingly and they both look at me as if I am crazy.
“If that is what they call sitting on the couch in your pajamas and playing video games all day alone is then yes. Yes I am.” Alex replies back with.
“That’s what you always do on the weekends.” Casey says.
“I love video games.” I say, trying not to sound like I am trying to impress him or something but probably failing.
“Oh really? What games do you like to play?” He asks me.
“Really? I hate video games. They rot the brain.” I hear Casey say but all I can seem to do is look into Alex’s eyes and all he can seem to do is look back into mine as if we were the only two people on earth right now and for some reason it becomes harder for me to think of the games that I usually play when I am at home, but eventually I think of them.
“I usually end up playing Skyrim or Call of Duty, just because those are they few of the games that I have that I can actually sit down and play for hours with.” I finally end up saying.
“I love those games.” He says to me.
“Well, why don’t you come over this weekend and we can play video games and gossip all day. What do you say?” Casey says, distracting me from his eyes and pulling me back to hers.
“Sounds awesome. I’ll ask my mom after school today.”

The first thing I do when I get back to my house after school, is call Jason up and tell him to get over here as soon as football practice is over. When I called him he didn’t answer, so I just sent him a text and knowing him, he will probably read it on his way to his car after practice. So all I have to do the rest of the afternoon is sit and wait for him to get here. I don’t really know what I am going to say to him once he does get here. I hate to ***** at him but I feel that that is what I have to do to get this through his thick skull. I am not even gonna think about it right now. It just gets me mad all over again.
I spend the next couple of hours staring at my homework instead of actually doing it, snacking on everything in the fridge, and checking my phone every couple of seconds in the hopes that it will ring and be Jason calling me. But my phone doesn’t ring for the next two hours, and thirty minutes after I know his practice is over I resend my last text, asking him to come over after practice. I am guessing he got it because about ten or so minutes after that the doorbell rings, I answer the door to find Jason standing on my front porch looking very exhausted from practice.
“Hey Sweetie.” I say. Instantly after answering the doorbell to see him standing there, I rush him into a bug warming hug.
“Hey, so I got your text. What is it?” When he asks me this I don’t really know how to answer it and it makes me wonder why I even asked him over here tonight.
“Just come inside, please.” I end up saying after I stand there looking up at him for a full minute of silence. I grab his hand and gently pull him into the house, closing the door behind me as we walk. Once inside Jason heads over to the couch and I grab two water bottles before making my way to the open seat next to him.
“So,” he says to me, “is there something you wanted to talk to me about or are you just lonely?” I am always lonely in this house. My parents are never home so I usually have Jason over anyways. He is over almost every night, actually, so I don’t really know why I asked him to come over tonight when he would’ve probably came over anyways. I guess I just wanted to make sure?
I look down to see that Jason has placed his hand on my knee and his thumb softly rubs at my skin as he looks over at me. I look up at him and I feel that his body is getting closer to mine and I find that he, in fact, is getting closer. I don’t know how to respond to this slow moment so I just sit there and look deep into his eyes.
There is a reason I haven’t had sex with Jason yet. I haven’t said it out loud before but I do have a good reason for not doing so. Every time I look into his eyes I don’t see Jason looking back. I see Jason thinking about Abby. I see Abby and that stupid little smile of hers that I think Jason loves so much. Now, I can’t say why I see that in him, it is just what I see for some reason, but if I told him that he would just deny it so I don’t. I’ve kept it to myself this whole time and it makes me wonder why I am even with a guy who feels different towards me that I do to him. I think I do it because I hate to see Abby get everything she wants. She always did. That is how life went. No matter how hard I tried, she always got what she wanted in the end. If I am with Jason then she won’t be and that sparks happiness inside me. If she is frowning I am smiling with glee.
“I guess I was just lonely.” I say pushing his hand off my knee, discretely, but grabbing it and intertwining it with mine.
“Are you sure? Or are you just mad at me about Chemistry class and you called me over here to yell at me. That’s not what I want you to do of course, but if you need to get it out of your system then I will sit here.” I can tell that he doesn’t want me to yell at him and any other day I probably would but there is something different about tonight. I don’t think I should yell at him tonight.
“Just tell me one thing.” I say to him, turning my body a little so I am fully facing him.
“Do you still have feelings for Abby?” I can see his mood shift form comfortable to awkward, but I need to know. I need to know if all this hate I have towards Abby is worth it. Not that I am thinking about making up with her anyways. She deserves all this hate I am giving her. It is all her fault.
“What do you mean “do I still have feelings for Abby? I never did.” He says, quick and to the point. I don’t know if I should believe him or not. I try to look in his eyes to see if he is lying to my face or not but he is getting all fidgety and looks over out the window into the sunset.
“Ok, I was just wondering.”
“Well, you don’t need to wonder like that. I don’t have any special feelings for Abby.” He pulls his hand away from mine and moves himself on the couch, closer to the other side, away from me. This makes me mad.
“Fine. Maybe you should go. My mom will be home soon anyways.” I say to him, more pissed off than upset.
“Fine.” He says, and with that he is hopping up off the couch and out the front door with a loud bang from shutting the door a bit too hard. Abby always has to ruin everything, even when she is not even here. Why does she have to butt herself into everyone’s business like that?
I can feel the anger filling me inside so I stand up and start pacing the living room, thinking of what I should do to get rid of some of the steam, and then I think of something good, great actually, because it will be funny and low profile at the same time. I grab my phone up off the living room table in front of me and I dial Ashley’s number. She answers it after the second ring.
“Hello?” Ashley answers with.
“Hey, it’s me. Come pick me up I have a plan.” I say.
“Oh, Nicole. You aren’t gonna pull another one of your ‘pranks’ are you?”
“I am and you are gonna drive me. It will be very quick.” I say in a plead tone.
“Fine, but only because I find this very funny. Be there in five.” She says and after that she hangs up and I get myself ready for her arrival.

Silence fills the room as my mom and I eat our dinner and while sitting there I try to come up with something to say, but, like any other night, I cannot seem to think of anything good to talk about. Is that usually how it goes? The teen and the mother sit at the dining room table and make small talk when really neither of the persons care what the other persons answer is. I think that is why our dinners are always eaten in silence, because we both feel that it is useless. But I don’t want to sit in silence anymore. I know something is wrong with her but she won’t tell me what it is. But if I just come out and ask her, she will just push me away farther. I reach for the jug of sweet tea and pour myself another glass full. While doing so, I decide to make small take, which I have never done before.
“So,” she looks up at me, surprised that I’ve said something at all, “how was your day?” I start off asking.
“It was fine, boring.” She answers. I look over at her to see that she is not really eating her food instead just pushing it around making it look like she is eating, and I realize that I am doing the same. I take a big chug of my sweet tea before continuing with our conversation.
“That’s cool. Mine was boring also, but I guess high school will be like that right?” I let out an awkward laugh, trying to ease the tension in the room but failing. She just nods at me, but for some reason I continue to talk as if she really cares that I say anything at all. “Casey asked me to come over again this weekend to spend the night. Is that ok? That I go, I mean.” I ask her.
“Yes, that’s fine. Just remember to keep me updated.” She replies.
“Of course,” I say, “Don’t I always?”
“Yes,” She says to me and then there is silence that fills the room again until she speaks up again and I jolt my body up straight, “I actually won’t be home at all thing weekend. I have a… conference… to go to.” Part of me doesn’t want to believe that she actually has plans this weekend but, I mean, what else does she have to do other than work. That’s all that she does lately work. More than usual, actually, and now that I think about it, it is kind of suspicious. I stop myself from thinking too much on the subject and push the thought out of my head.
I look back over at my mom to see her sitting with her hand covering her mouth as if she is about to puke, eyes closed as if it will help with forcing the nausea away from her throat. I don’t know whether to just sit there and let her do her thing or ask her if she is ok. I decided on the latter.
“Mom, are you ok? You look like you are about to puke.” I ask her, cautious to not upset her in any way. She takes a while to answer, looking as if she were holding her breath all that time, but she finally answers.
“I’m fine.” She says, short and simple, as if there was nothing to worry about. But I knew better as to not to think such things. I, apparently, do have to worry about it, because she won’t tell me why she is like this all the time, so it leaves me thinking the worst of the situation. She looks down at her food and grips the fork in her hand and I can see that she is trying to force herself to take at least one bite, just one, to see if she can do it, but I know that she cannot.
“Mom, I don’t think you should eat any of this.” I stand up and walk over to the other side of the table where she sits, clenching at her stomach, as if that will get rid of the pain also, and I grab the plate, ready to take it back to the kitchen. She swats my hands away, telling me that she wants to eat it, but by the look on her face I don’t think that she can. “Mom,” I say and she looks up at me, “give me the plate. I can make you some soup with some saltine crackers real quick. You go up to bed.”
“No, I’m fine. I can eat it.” She says, talking to herself more than me, and she holds the fork with more force in her hand. I do the only thing that I can think of to do at the moment. It’s the only thing that pops in my mind at the time and I act on it instantly, hoping that it will help in some way possible. I push the plate down the table so it lays next to mine, and after getting on my knees, I lean in and wrap my arms around my mother, hugging her as meaningful as possible. She doesn’t hug back at first, but after a couple of long empty seconds, she wraps her arms back around me and hugs me back and after a few seconds of us just sitting there in silence taking everything in, I feel something. He body shivers and I realize that she has start to cry and her body is weeping over my shoulders. This just makes me hug her even harder. I don’t care what is wrong with her. All that matters is that she needs me right now and I need her. We need each other more than even right now and I will do anything to help her get better. I don’t want to see her leave me and I don’t think she wants to leave either. I feel how scared she is and this makes me even more so by the agonizing seconds that go by in hours. Our worries are just lingering in the air right now and the only thing that seems to matter anymore is that we have each other, no one else. We don’t need anyone else. We have each other.
We finally part, both of us not really wanting to, and when I see her face I see only sickness and depression mixed in her sleep deprived eyes. “Go upstairs. I’ll make you some hot soup with saltines like I said,” Is all I say to her, and at that she nods, turning around and making her way slowly up the stairs to her bedroom. I clean the kitchen and make the soup that my mom is waiting upstairs for in her bed. I even find a little table to put it all on for her to eat off of so she won’t have to leave her nice, comfortable bed. I am ready to head upstairs when the doorbell rings. Part of me wants to just let it ring and go upstairs to my mother, but the another part wants me to answer it and right when I open the door, I realize that I should’ve just left the person there, and I wanted to slam the door in her face. I set the tray of food on the living room table as I past it after opening the door and we both just stand there looking at each other, me in disgust and her in bitchiness.
“What do you want Nicole? I have something to be doing right now.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Oh, I just came to talk to you about something very important and it just couldn’t wait until Monday.” She says as she stand on my tiny porch and observes every little detail of it as if she is really interested in it all when we both now that she isn’t.
“And what is that? I don’t really have time to talk right now.”
“I came to tell you to back off Jason. Ok? Back off or else.” I am confused now because I have no idea what she is talking about. I am not interested in Jason. Not anymore, at least and even if I was, what is it to her? I think to tell her the truth about my feelings but I think that that would be too easy so I decide to go with a different approach.
“Or else what? I’m smart enough to not fall for your little games anymore, Nicole. You have nothing over me.” I say to her, seeing the anger rising in her eyes.
“Jason is my boyfriend. I don’t want you talking to him in Chemistry, like, at all. You have no right to be talking to him and he isn’t allowed to be talking to you. I don’t like this arrangement as much as you do, so let’s just make this whole situation less horrible and just do as I say. OK?” She says to me threatening, but I don’t buy it. I’ve learned to not be afraid of her anymore by practice. She cannot scare me like she thinks she can.
“Ok, first of all, he and I can talk to whoever the hell we want to talk to and you cannot tell either of us otherwise and second, why would I do anything that you tell me too? Do you really think that is the best thing to do? I mean, look where it has gotten you now.” I say. I can see that she takes offense to this by the step back that she takes but the satisfaction I get from it doesn’t last long.
“Fine, don’t listen to me, but if you don’t stop I do have something that can make you stop.”
“And that would that be?” I say, unconvinced, until I see the sudden movement of her whipping out a CD from the depths of her purse that hangs on her arm in front of her belly. “What is that?” I ask, trying to hide my fear of it, but knowing exactly what it is.
“Oh, it’s just a CD that I made about two years ago at a party.”
“I don’t care what you do with that stupid CD, Nicole. It’s just a video of me and Jason making out. Who cares?” But I feel like there is more to this and soon she confirms my suspicions.
“Oh, that is what everyone thought. What nobody but I knows, is that I only show that one part. You know, the only part you had your clothes on for. What everybody else hasn’t seen is everything else.” She didn’t. I thought she just got us making out. She’s bluffing. It cannot be true. I see a smile form across her lips as she sees the fear in my eyes come to life and I can feel that fear radiate throughout the whole of my body the more she looks at me and holds up that CD. When I go to grab it she just lets me take is, so I do but she doesn’t seem to care the slightest. “Oh you can have that, I made copies. Tons actually. It’s amazing what you can do with a computer and about 500 CD’s.” She says, in that mocking tone of hers.
“You wouldn’t.” is all that I can seem to say out of shock.
“Oh I would.” She says.
“Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever to do you? I don’t get it.”
“I have my reasons.” Is her answer, but it doesn’t really answer much. I want to know her reasoning behind all of this hate that she has built up inside me for all this time, but I don’t think that she is ever going to tell me and I am going to be stuck in this stage of wonder for the rest of my life. I think that is what she wants and I know that I should just let it go but I also know that I cannot do that. We used to be friends and it’s as if one day she just woke up and decided to just hate me forever and make my life miserable for the rest of my life.
She can see that she has won this battle and I now don’t know what to do so I just stand there and watch as she walks away. She walks down the stairs in triumph, but once at the bottom she turns around to say, “Oh, and if you tell anyone about this… Well, I guess I will have to open up my YouTube account.” I am in shock right now and I feel my body fall down to the bench that is behind me. She turns back around and makes her way towards her car and I can see Ashley sitting in the driver’s seat, watching the whole scene progress, but not having the guts to do anything. Before Nicole and Ashley actually make it out my drive way I am in the house, carrying my mother’s not so hot soup up to her room. She is, thankfully, half asleep by now as she lies comfortably in her bed and that makes me happy, not only because she is comfortable, but because she won’t see how upset and scared I look right now. When I make it back to my room I pop the CD into my DVD player and the whole scene plays over on the screen of my TV. I thought I could handle watching this play over again, but I can’t. I press pause on my TV remote before things go too far and I just sit there, falling back on my bed with my arms wrapping around my knees and I then do something that I haven’t done in two years. I do something that swore I would never do again after all that has happened to me in my life. After I turn the light off I cry. I let all my tears out, wetting my pillow with them all and I cry myself to sleep.
My phone beeps and I see that I have a text message from Alex. Not even Alex can make me happy right now. His text asks me what my mom said and I contemplate whether I should go over there this weekend or not. I don’t want them to see me in this stage. I text him back saying that I am going anyways and I turn my phone off for the night, slowly falling sleep and soon all that is keeping me from falling asleep are the lingering tears that lay just under my eyelids, making it had to close them all the way. I guess this weekend won’t be as fun as I thought it was.

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