The other one (stopped writing)

Somethimes bad stuff comes back...
(One direction fanfiction)


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10. The other one; Chapter 9

 

This is a very triggering chapter, I warn you.

“Holly?” A voice said, and I smiled as I looked up from my Ipad, to look at Liam.

“Yeah?” I said taking a deep breath, looking back at my Ipad, seeing loads of rumors, which just made me smile way too widely.

“You know what you should do?” He asked, and I looked at him for a second.

“Tell me?” I said, and he smiled looking at me, as I smiled looking back at him.

“You should really do auditions for X factor, if we go now, since we have two days off.” Liam said, and I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah surely, stand there all alone, being all nervous by myself, and then getting four no’s while Simon is laughing at me, since he knows me. Sure sounds great” I commented, and all the boys just shook their heads.

“I think What Liam meant is that the six of us will go, and then you will audition, and you will nail it obviously. You’ve got us as mentors” Louis said, and I looked at him, and I then raised my eyebrows slightly. Since when was he all ‘Pro Liam’s Idea’s.

“Yeah. But then I’ll just be the girl that hangs out with the One Direction boys 24/7” I commented, and they smiled looking at me.

“Who says that’s a bad thing?” Zayn said, and I looked at him for a second, and he just stared back at me.

“Like I told you guys before, I want to get a music carreer, without being the girl who is dating X and who is going out with the boys from One direction. I’ll be the girl that is supposedly using you, which isn’t the case. And I don’t want that kind of hate” I commented.

“But you won’t” Harry then said.

“You should really do it. You’re a great singer.” Niall then said, and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t even have a song prepared”

“Yes you do, you belted ‘Lightweight’ by Demi Lovato, in the shower yesterday” Zayn commented, and I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Yes. But I’m not going to sing a song by Demi, while Demi is right there, that’s kind of really emberassing, what if I screw up the whole song” I commented, and Niall just laughed.

“Demi loves it when people sing her song. Trust me, I’ve asked her what annoys her the most, and what doesn’t” Niall said, and I just raised my eyebrows slightly as I looked at him, then looking at Liam who just gave me an encouraging nod.

“Trust me, you should just do it, we’ll be there to, and your inspiration will be there too” Liam said, with the biggest smile on his face, making me laugh as I looked at all the boys one by one.

“Only if you guys don’t make fun of me, if I fail miserably” I commented, and The boys all laughed.

“Why on earth would we do that” Louis said, and I just smiled.

“Because I’m nervous” I commented, and the boys all laughed looking at me, and I smiled back looking at them.

I smiled as I was staring in the mirror thinking of that amazing day that had occurred, and I took one deep breath, as I then heard that I was getting announced, after the break. And I took one deep breath as I stood up, looking in the mirror again, seeing the long golden dress that I was wearing, making my figure coming out perfectly, as I then walked back to the green room, where the boys were talking with all the other acts, making me smile, as I went and sat down next to Zayn, who smiled widely as he looked at me, me taking a deep breath as he put his arm by the leaning, making me smile slightly as I then looked at the rest of the boys. Liam winking at me for a second, which made me smile even wider.

“you ready?” Peter asked me, and I took one deep breath and I shook my head.

“The song is really really hard, and I’m probably going to fail it miserably” I said.

“No you won’t. You’ll nail it, just like every song” Niall commented, and I took a deep breath and nodded as I then had to stand up, and I gave the six boys (The five boys of one direction, plus Peter) a kiss on the cheek, as I then walked over towards backstage, as I then got announced by Simon, and I went and stood ready, as I looked at the screen.

“The past week has been really fun, I love going out once in a while, and just hearing the different stories by the fans, and what they like about us, and who they like, and who they don’t. And I love performing songs for them, and them all just dancing along” I said taking a deep breath, as I then was in rehearsals, as you saw me breaking halfway through the song.

“I think we shouldn’t do these emotional songs again” You heard me tell simon, and simon responding.

“But those are the most real songs” Simon said and you then saw me nodding.

“Its a very tricky song though” You heard me say, and then you saw me just looking down while practicing, and then you saw Liam walking up to me.

(this was later that afternoon)

“Are you ok love?” Liam asked, and I had just looked up at him, and I gave him a small nod.

“This song is just emotionally draining for me” I commented, and Liam nodded.

“Just take deep breaths, and try not to think about your past too much, and think about the bright future you have ahead of you” He whispered, and I just nodded looking at him, as he then wrapped his arms around me, me smiling looking at him.

“Thanks Li” I said, and he had nodded.

“Your welcome, now go and smash the song!”

I smiled as I pouted my lips, but he just merely laughed as he shook his head.

“You save those kisses for later” He said, and he then winked at me, and I smiled as you saw me going around in the chair again, as everyone sort of went wild at that Image of me and Liam.

I took one deep breath, as the song then slowly started, and the beginning wasn’t that bad, but then during the chorus, I almost froze, as I thought of the awful times with my parents. And I tried  to think of my dad, but I failed miserably.

“Where is mommy?” I asked as I came home from a day of school, I was twelve, and it was half a year until my birthday,and I had two braids in my hair, and my dad was just sitting behind the table, and he looked at me for a second.

“Am I not good enough for you?” He asked me. I froze. this was daddy’s unhappy voice. He was unhappy. What did I do wrong this time. Don’t hurt me.

“Yes Daddy. You are” I whispered, afraid, as I wanted to turn around, flee from the things that would probably happen.

“HOlly you stay here.” He yelled, and I closed my eyes, trying to not think about the screaming I would probably have to endure.

“Yes daddy?” I said very softly, as I then turned around, and my father stood up, with a  small grim smile on his face.

“It’s ok, you’re going to be ok.”  He said smiling very widely as he bend down on his knees to look me in the eyes. “You’re so beautiful today, did mommy do those braids.”

He was happy. Daddy was happy. He wasn’t mad at me. He was happy.

“Yes. Mommy did” I said, and he nodded.

“And did she choose those clothes for you as well?” He asked, and I looked down at my clothes, and gave him a small smile.

“Yes Daddy. Do you like them?” I asked, and he looked at me for a second.

“Not really” He said, and I just frowned slightly hoping he wasn’t going to hit me again.

“O.” I said, and he just gave me a small smile as he looked at me.

“Why don’t you take them off.” He said, and I looked at him for a second, confused at what he meant.

“What do you mean daddy?” I asked, and he smiled.

“Take your fucking clothes off” He then growled, and I took one deep breath as I closed my eyes again. Daddy was mad. He wasn’t happy. I wasn’t good enough.

I was never good enough.

So I took off my clothes and he looked at me, trying to ignore the bruises he gave me, and I just put my arms in front of my growing breasts, and he looked at me for a second.

“Remove those arms” He growled, but I just shook my head.

“What did you just do?” He said, and I looked up from my arms, and looked into his eyes.

“I don’t want this daddy” I whispered, and he looked at me for one second, with a frown.

“It’s not what you want. Holly, it’s what I want. And I want you to take your arms off. And you listen to what I fucking say.” He growled again and I took one deep breath as I then removed my arms, and he looked at me and he smiled.

“You’re becoming a woman now are you” 

I took a deep breath as tears started to stream down my face.

“Daddy, can I put my clothes back on” I whispered.

“Did I ask you to put your clothes back on? No I fucking didn’t so fucking listen to me, you ungrateful bitch” He said, and I then felt a slap against my face, and tears started to well up in my eyes, as I felt the smash against my cheek.

Daddy was mad.

Daddy wasn’t happy.

Daddy didn’t like me.

He only liked me, whenever he would come and snuggle up close to me in bed.

He did weird things to me then.

But it was normal.

That happened to everyone.

But I knew now, that this wasn’t normal.

I was older and wiser, and I realized that everything my father had done to me, had not been normal, and that it was not acceptable. The hitting, the sexual things he did. Everything just wasn’t right.

So what made me become a kind of a slut, not minding having sex with my boyfriend. I didn’t know.

But I didn’t like to be touched on my back a lot, that was one of the places where you shouldn’t touch me, unless I trusted you fully, and there were only two people on this earth that was allowed to do that. Fatima, and my boy.

I then sang the last sentence, tears welling up in my eyes, as I felt the dirt come all over me again, and I just closed my eyes, as everyone was screaming, everyone was happy, but I wasn’t.

I was miserable, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Since I had to perform again.

I then looked at the judges, and I saw that Demi was looking at me, and she understood completely why I was freezing. Why I wasn’t smiling after I nailed that song.

She understood everything completely..

I then went to the judges, and I got all positive feedback, as I then walked off of stage, and the first person that wrapped his arms around me, was Zayn, and I Took one deep breath as I just smelled his scent for a second, and relaxed a bit.

I then went over to Liam, and he hugged me even tighter, and I took one deep breath as I loved the smell he had. I didn’t know why.

He was just amazing.

Absolutely amazing.

They all were.

 

A/N 10 will be up in a sec!

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