I’ve always been told that when you die, you go to Heaven.
I have never really known what to believe.
I always wondered how many people had died and went to Heaven. As a child I even asked my mother once. “A lot” was all she told me. I pondered on that for a little while before my little child voice said; “But isn’t Heaven getting filled up then?” My mother chuckled lovingly. “No dear, ‘cause the clouds are endless.”
Now I’m lying on my deathbed.
For the first time in years that memory struck me. And I still didn’t know what to believe. Now it was time for me to really find the answer. I was going to find out if death really was as glorious as my family had told me. It was time for the biggest adventure of all.
A cough forced up my throat, scratching my insides like tiger claws, and escaped past my dry lips. I barely managed to lift my fragile hand to cover my mouth.
“Oh love” my mother said, concern filling her voice and bloodshot eyes.
She lifted from her seat to pull the covers higher over my pale body. Her eyes locked with mine as she gently took my hand and sat back down in the chair beside my hospital bed. Water began to rim her eyes.
“Mother. Is there still space in Heaven for me?” I asked her.
I could barely recognize my voice. It was low and hoarse. Tears fell down the woman’s cheek. She sniffled once before telling me, her daughter:
“Of cause there is. You will be the most beautiful angel amongst them all.”
Her voice cracked. I attempted to smile. But the corners of my dry lips only curved faintly. I gave my mother’s hand the best squeeze I could muster up. A sad smile tugged on her lips as tears kept rolling down her face.
“It will be all right” she whispered.
She leaned over me again, this time planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I slowly closed my eyes and sighted.
Let the clouds be endless tonight, was the last thing I though before my heart stopped.
There was a tiny light in the distance contrasting the darkness. It felt like I was soaring. Everything else was numb.
The light grew bigger, it came closer and closer. It was blinding. Isn’t this what people always said happens when you die? Go towards the light. Maybe it was true. Maybe death was as glorious as the living had told me.
I felt lighter than a feather and warm as if I was lying in the summer sun. As the bright light neared, an odd, positive feeling filled me. So Heaven actually exists. I tried to lift my hand towards the light. I wanted to reach it. But I couldn’t move. It was so near, yet so far away.
Suddenly the light disappeared, I was enveloped in darkness and everything turned numb.
I was dead.