Hiding From Me

Skyler has been hiding from herself for years. After a certain accident she moves far away to England where she lives peacefully and what she believes to be happily just making it by. That is until she meets 5 peculiar boys who open her eyes and possibly her past.


11. Out With The Old In With The New

Chapter 11

She stood up out of her seat and rushed through the door. She could feel the warm tears run down her cheeks as she ran. The salt parched her lips, but she didn’t care. She didn’t know where she was and this labyrinth of a building only confused her. She paused trying to see through the hazy fog created by her tears. She sank down, crouching. “What have I done?” She thought, “Why couldn’t I have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle.” She placed her hand on the cold tile and flashed back to somewhere unknown, startled she pulled away. After a moment she placed her hand down and she was suddenly thrown to her school days she looked up and she saw him.

Jay turned instantly and walked away and she chased him down the hallway. Wow she hadn’t been here in a while, she looked at the whitewashed walls. Jay turned the corner and she sprinted down the stairs after him. She smiled to herself as she realized where she was. “I’m home,” she thought and she opened the door. Her nose scrunched at the distinct smell but a giggle still managed to escape her lips. She looked around the spacious gym and yelled out, “Remember this jay?” Skyler looked at him and he just stared blankly. “Jay don’t be like that,” she laughed, “This was our place. we would practice here, hang out here, live here.” Skyler looked around the abandoned gym. It still had the posters from 1988 about not smoking and being healthy. Jay and Skyler had found this place looking at the old school down the road from their house one day. They went there for everything. Skyler would study and practice lacrosse, and Jay would go there to be with Skyler and practice for football. She looked back to Jay and he just walked over to her. Inches from her face he reached out to touch her. Skyler closed her eyes.

She was back in the building and he was right there. With her other hand she reached out, “Jay?” she whispered. He smiled that dazzling smiled and her heart leapt, “Jay” she said again stunned. He opened his mouth but his voice wasn’t his own, “SKYLER!??” he sounded nervous and scared...and far away. “Jay?” She screamed. His face twisted in confusion and the  tears built up. Bubblewrap screamed in her ears. She thought about when she heard that song.

***6 months before the crash***** “OHMIGOD SKYLER! SKYLER! SKYLER! SKYLER!!” Jay screamed racing down the steps to the gym. Skyler was lying on the floor just staring at the ceiling, it was a few months since her grandpa had died and every once and awhile she would just come here for the quiet. She missed him so much he was her best friend and now he was gone. “What do you want Jay?” she said a bit angrily he always was so dramatic. She paused and took a deep breath. She loved Jay and surprised herself with her reaction to him, “Breathe Skyler,” she thought, “just breath.”
“hey you don’t get an attitude with me!” he yelled as he pushed through the door. His face immediately softened when he saw her and what state she was in.  She would never leave the house looking like she did (www.polyvore.com/chilling/set?id=61902593), not that she looked bad of course he thought she was the most beautiful girl alive but he knew sky and something was up. He threw his ipod to the beat up matts, ran to Skyler, and hugged her. She leaned into him and took a deep breath absorbing him, he knew she would never cry in front of him. She was too strong for that. After a few moments she pushed him away and plastered a fake smile onto her face. “Now what do you want?” She said giggling while playing with his hair, that was her favorite thing to do she claimed that it calmed her like a puppy. “oh yah!” Jay said remembering why he had come here originally, “Look at this song I found, it would be perfect for you.”

“Really?” She said softly, she hadn’t sung much since her grandpa died but Jay was always pushing her.

“Yeah, but just to warn you it’s kind of sad. Do you think you can handle it right now?”

“Of course I can,” she said with a smile, “I’d do anything for you, you know that.”

Jay watched as skyler went and got his iPod. "It's by the British band..."

"Mhmm" she purred trying to find it.

Jay knew he was only half listening so he continued, "I don't think you know them..."

"Oh really?" She said still not listening, "that would be a shock." She finally found it and walked back over

"It's by a little band called McFly" he smiled

"Oh jay you're such a dork, you know that's my favorite band. I've heard all their song" she said turning her back to him

"Skyler," he cooed, "I know you've heard it, but have you heard it?"

Skyler paused at that comment before turning back to him, "jay. You know I don't do sad songs."

She knew that's what he meant, that if a song became sad she'd usually lock it out and shut down. He knew her too well.

"Please, just listen to it," he pleaded, "I think it could help."

"Help with what?!" She screamed instantly angry, "help with what jay?! Are you saying I'm insane? What do you know!?? What do you care!?" She got up and walked to the other side of the gym. Jay just stared at her dumbfounded, she never spoke to him like this and he was amazed.

After a moment of silence he leaned forward and grabbed the iPod that had been thrown on the ground in her moment of rage. He pressed play and it was a few seconds before the song started.
I wish I could Bubble Wrap my heart,
In case I fall and break apart,
I'm not God, I can't change the stars,
And I don't know if there's life on Mars,
Jay saw skyler's head lift up a bit and he knew he was getting through to her. Maybe just a little bit more.
But I know you're hurt,
People that you love and those who care for you,
I want nothing to do with the things you're going through.
Skyler stood and began to walk over to jay gingerly. As if careful if she stepped wrong everything would be over
This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm
A broken man who's finally realised.
Skyler reached him and sat down. Silent. She didnt say a word, like a small child in trance by a toy.
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Who do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.
And with that final note he heard it, it was silent at first but he could see her body shake. It then grew louder and louder until she was sobbing then yelling "WHY?" She yelled, "WHY ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE?" Jay tried to pull her in but she pushed and pushed and kicked and screamed until finally she just gave up. She went limp in his arm.
And that's how they listened to the rest of the song skyler sobbing silently while jay held her and protected her.

Skyler opened her watering eyes and he was still there. What seemed like an hour span was really only a few minutes, maybe seconds. "Jay," she called out again, "I need you jay." Jay smiled again and opened his mouth, once again the voice that came out was not his, "SKYLER!? WHERE ARE YOU?"

"I'm right here," skyler said confused, "jay I'm right here?"

Jay slowly began to fade and skyler heard footsteps approaching, "JAY!!" Skyler screamed, "JAY NO JAY COME BACK JAY I NEED YOU!" She screeched at his fading image.

Skyler felt strong arms wrap around her, but that didnt stop her jay was leaving her...again. "NO LET ME GO," she screamed kicking, "LET ME GO WITH HIM. LET ME GO WITH HIM"

She was pushed up against a wall, still screaming, with the strong arms holding her so tight as if She was going to disappear if they let go. There was a lot of commotion around Skyler, but eventually it died down. She never once opened her eyes.

That was probably a good thing. She didnt need to see the confusion on Harry's face or the tears in Louis' eyes. She didnt need to see Niall's body shaking as he blamed himself for making such a stupid suggestion. But most of all she didn't need to see the disgust in her idols eyes as Danny looked upon what he assumed to be a loon. He didnt know any better, he didnt know her.

After all was silent and skyler had no more tears to produce. She began to cuddle up in the holders arms. They were so strong and loving. She felt safe.

Skyler’s POV
I opened my eyes to find myself in my room again. How’d I get here? I wondered, and as if on command my mind flashed back to everything that happened the day before. Everything. I cringed at the thought of it all and wondered how I would ever explain to the boys what happened. That’s if they would let me explain. If I was them I’d just kick me out, I wouldn’t deal with the girl who runs out of rooms and see’s apparitions. Good I’m a lune.

I got out of bed quietly and tiptoed to the door careful not to let the door creek

I walked heel toe to the stairs and paused to listen. there were voices and I stepped a few stairs down to listen

“She has to go!” an unfamiliar voice said. My heart sank I knew they wanted me out.

I tried to think of a way I could get out when out of the silence, “No! She’s not going anywhere! This just proves more that she needs to stay here.” I felt the tears fill my eyes as I heard louis’ voice yell.

“She can’t. That’s final.” The unfamiliar voice said again.

“Last time I checked we were the celebrities and we got to decide who stayed in our homes and who we hung out with.” Niall’s thick accent said. He sounded furious and it scared me, why were they standing up for me?

“She’s a comple----”

“A complete what?” Niall screamed. A complete lun, my love, I’m a complete lun i thought to myself.

“SHE’S A COMPLETE LUN!” The voice bellowed finally losing his cool, “SHE CAN’T STAY WITH YOU BOYS IT’S BAD FOR YOUR REP.”

“WE DON’T CARE ABOUT OUR BLOODY REP” All the boys screamed at once and I heard a pair of feet scurry into a different room in rage.

“She’s not going anywhere,” Liam stated, “And that is final.” I could picture them all standing around this poor person who’s just trying to help them. I pictures the layout of the house in my head and headed back to my room. If i was careful enough I could get out of the house and leave. That way the boys were safe and they didn’t have to worry about me any longer. I packed up my stuff in silent and slung it over my back. I looked around the room that had, in this short time, become my home and I smiled a bit at all the good memories in this lovely place.

All the good memories.

I small tear dripped down my cheek and I found a piece of paper and scribbled a note to the boys.

My Boys,
I am sorry I have put you through so much. I am sorry I haven’t been completely honest with you. And I am sorry for all the harm that has happened to you because of me. No need to worry now boys because I am leaving. Please don’t try looking for me because as you know I do a very good job at disappearing. You boys are beautiful and lovely and I am so happy I got this time with you.
Louis- you are the best friend anyone could ever have. You are so loving and caring and just an amazing guy. You are my partner in crime and I am so glad that I got to meet you because you have touched me deeply.
Niall- My beautiful boy! Don’t you ever grow up my love because there is nothing out there that is worth it. You make me smile like I have never smiled before and laugh so deep that my core is literally rock solid. You are my boy and I love you!
Harry- Harry Harry Harry, I hope you know that through these tears I am giggle at the mere thought of you. You are such a special guy that gets such the wrong idea. You are my little flirt and you always know what to say to put a smile to my face. You’re a good boy and I can not wait for you to find a girl that see’s what I see because she will be very very very lucky.
Zayn- You are my big brother. I love you so deeply because you have protected me so much that you have shown be what being cared for is like. You are the big brother I always wanted and I could’ve never asked for anything better.
Liam- My love, Thank You.

I folded the note and set it carefully on my bed. I opened the door again and heard the boys still fighting but it seemed to have moved more to the kitchen so I took my opportunity and took the stairs two at a time and silently. I had reached the door and was just about to open it when a hand grabbed my arm. I jumped a little as I turned to tear filled green eyes.

I looked at Harry’s hand to find a crumpled piece of paper I assumed to be my letter in his hand.
“Harry,” I whispered hardly even audible as I reached for his arm. He cringed away from  my touch and a tear slipped down his cheek, “You have to understand...” I tried again but he wouldn’t look at me (http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0x0cdzJ0q1qlg34h.gif)

“I have to understand what?” He asked sharply, “that you’re leaving us? We thought you were different. I thought you were different. Liam thought you were different. Not just using us to leave us. But here I find you at the door without even so much as a goodbye?”
His tone angered me a bit and I felt a fire burn up into my stomach, “Use you?” I snapped, “Harry Styles I would never do that and if you even peaked at that letter you would know that I’m doing this to protect you. To help you. You don’t need some lun staying in your home and ruining your rep.”

“You heard that?” (http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9wzn9ls2q1ql9x7go1_400.gif)

“Yes,” I said holding back the tears.

“Then you should know we don’t want you to leave.” Harry said softly as he grabbed my hand, “Skyler please don’t go. We don’t care what’s wrong with you. Have you met us? We’re all fucked up so just join the club and be with us.”

I felt my tears escape but now they weren’t tears of sadness but tears of joy, “Oh Harry,” I said as i leaped and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me gratfully and swung me to his back for a piggieback ride.

“Now!,” he said, “To talk to the boys! Because you know we do deserve some sort of explaination.” I nodded silently and nuzzled my face into his neck. We walked down the hallway but a few steps outside the door harry paused. In the silence we stood until he whispered, “How about we don’t tell the boys about this?,” I nodded in solid agreement before he continued, “and we don’t talk about that letter either...well me and you will but not right now and not with them.” I squeezed his arm and kissed his cheek before whispering a “thank you” and with that we continued to walk.

“My love!” Louis squealed, “I thought I heard some commotion by the stairs!” I smiled as his crinkling eyes showed brightly (http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7r2rg6Tt81rzxtdso1_500.gif)

“Good morning,” Zayn said picking me off Harry’s bed like a little girl and setting me on the couch in between him and Niall.
“Hi babe,” I said nuzzling Niall’s neck like normal. He winced a little and there was some pain in his eyes. I remembered why we were gathered here and immediately went rigid. “So I guess you guys want to know what happened yesterday” I said quietly as I looked at my hands. I could feel them staring at me waiting.

I looked up to Liam’s bright brown eyes staring at me. When our eyes met her got up out of the chair he was sitting in and kneeled before me rubbing my knees. He never once broke eye contact.

“You have to ask me questions,” I whispered, “I can’t just tell the story. I’m a lun my mind gets all foggy which I try to and I just can’t. I’ll shut down.”

“Well to start off you’re not a lun.” Liam said leaning over so that I was looking him in the eyes again.

“I am.”

“You’re not.” he said shortly, “Now Stop.”

“Okay,” Niall said cautiously, “Who’s jay?”

My heart stopped at his name. My lips went dry and a lump in my throat grew. I didn’t know if I could answer and my hands began to tremble. I closed my eyes trying to figure it all out when I felt warm hands wrap around my own. I took a deep breath “Jay is...uh...was my best friend back at home.”

“What happened to him?” Louis asked

“He died.”

The room was silent and I knew they were waiting to hear what happened but they were too polite to say it out loud. I let it be silent as I put my thoughts together and after a few moments I sighed again and began.

“He died in a car accident because his seat belt came completely off.” My throat cut out and I had to pause, “It was my 16th birthday and he was taking me to some sort of surprise. He looked away from the road for a moment to look at me and didn’t see the car in front of us slam on their brakes.”

I heard harry choke a little but the other boys were silent. I knew the questions were done. I knew I would have to tell them myself. I opened my eyes and avoided liam’s gaze.

“He was my best friend, my brother, my confidant, my partner in crime, he was my everything.” I said, “I loved him. And I killed him.”

“Sky you di---” Zayn began.

“DON’T CALL ME THAT” I screamed jumping up from Liam. “Ohmigod zayn. Ohmigod I’m sorry I’m terrible I’m terrible,” I cried as I ran to him and hugged him

“He called you that didn’t he?” Zayn questioned

“Yes,” I responded, “and usually I like when you call me that. Really I do, but when we’re talking about him it’s just hard, you know?”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” He said holding me close as if I’d never have to worry about being hurt again, “You didn’t kill him love and you can’t keep telling yourself that you did.”

“Is this why we found you screaming yesterday?” Harry asked finally putting the pieces together.

“Yes, every year on my birthday I relive that day in my dream. It’s every bit as vivid as the first. I can still hear his voice and feel his touch and smell his skin. It’s just like inception, except I can never just die. I can never just wake up.” I stated in one breath as I paced around the room.

Louis who had been silent since the beginning, “What is the story?” I looked at him confused at why he was asking that, he knew that I couldn’t tell the story I had just said it, “You said you couldn’t just tell the story you could only answer questions or you’d shut down. So if I ask you what the story is you should be able to answer. So what’s the story?”

I paused and began to pace and with that it all came out. The whole story on how we met, how we became friends, our gym, when i fell in love with his, my grandpa, the song, everything. Anything that came to my mind when I thought Jay I said. The boys sat in silence. They never said anything, they didn’t move, or do anything at all. When I finished I fell to the ground completely drained. I had done it, someone knew. People knew my love. The boys were silent at first. They didn’t say anything and I just felt like crying. “I told you I’m a lun.” I said chuckling, “that’s why I am here. Didn’t want to let my parents down anymore.”

I looked at the ground for what seemed like ages when all of a sudden a pair of arms wrapped around me, then another, and another, and another, and another. “You’re not going anywhere.” Zayn’s muffled voice said

“You belong with us.” said Niall

“If you’re a lun.” Louis said

“Then you’re our lun” Harry finished

“Because we love you.” Liam whispered right next to my ear.

“I love you too” was all I could say before the hug turned into a doggie pile and a fit of laughter as we tried to untangle ourselves.

After an hour of us just laying and laughing together Louis popped up out of nowhere and said, “Skyler, we’re going shopping!”

What?” I said sitting up

“Your birthday sucked yesterday so we’re going to finish it today by going shopping and having a nice dinner.”

“No I--can’t” I stuttered, “I’ve caused enough problems”

“Skyler. Stop we’re going shopping. None of us ever buy anything besides zayn so we’re going to take you shopping.” He said, “And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

And with that he grabbed my arm and started to pull me out the door.

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