And Barack said "Here, you have a go".

I became president.


1. My gifts to you.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix.

The first law I give you is that there shall be no war. We shall not go to war. If we are attacked, that is another story. But we shall not invade. We shall stay in Splendid Isolation - this means we will not get involved when we have nothing to do with it. We shall not go to war over a scrap of paper.

"You can't save a man if he's dead." - Unknown.

The second law I give you is that we shall no longer see life as "an eye for an eye". The death penalty has gone. It is a far better punishment for them to be in prison for them to get away "easy".

"Listening looks easy, but it's not that simple. Every head is a world." - Cuban Proverb.

No-one shall go unheard. So my third law I give you is that every 3 months, everyone must go to their GP and tell them how they're feeling on the inside. You don't know just how many lives it would save.

"There are some day that i ask myself 'Why am i still here? Nobody cares about me. Nobody loves me. So... why?'" - a girl on tumblr.

The fourth law I give you - Saying the phrase "Children are to be seen, not heard" is punishable by life imprisonment. Teenage years are hard, and by the time you're a parent, they'll be harder than they were for you.

"Amazeballs." - Me.

And the fifth, and maybe most important law I give you is... FREE NANDO'S EVERY FRIDAY EVENING. You. Are. Welcome.



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