Why am I like this?

Why am I like this? I shouldn't be.

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1. Why am I like this?

I don't get it, how did I end up like this. I was raised by loving parents and siblings that did tease me, but they only did it for a joke. I was free to dream, free to think what I wanted. I had an education at a brilliant primary school. Amazing friends, who I unfortunately don't see or talk to anymore. But then there came secondary school. I attended, and that's when the bullying started. It's only up til recently that I haven't been able to hold in the anger. But then... I take it out on my friends, which I bloody hate. Why can't I learn to not be angry, why can't I get rid of my anger. Well that's why I write. And that's why I hurt myself, I torture myself with images that I bloody want to scream in agony from. And other ways...

 

I don't understand how I ended up like this though? Anyone who knows me would say that I'm a bitch, which I except, but I don't want to be one. I want to change, I want to be the person I love. I want to be a bubbly, funny red headed girl who writes good books online. Not the emo red headed slut who writes depressing books online. That's the title I have been assigned. Not just by other people. But by myself...

 

But why am I like this?
Why?...

 

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