Chasing What Could Be.

“Jump, Cassandra. I’ll catch you. I promise.” – Reese Parker.

Cassandra Barlow was tired of being thrown around like a ragdoll. So, her crazy solution? Suicide. But, when her suicide mission fails, she falls apart. She has to move to her grandmother’s with her mom and her odd little sister, Josey. she’s back in her old town, where no one knows what happened to her. She gets to start over. She reunites with her old best friends, but they’re not the same as they used to be. And then there’s Reese Parker. Her old crush, and old childhood playmate. Except this time, its not just a teasing game. He hates her. Lost in the past, Cassandra has to find a way to let go. But it’s easier said than done.

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1. Prologue.

 

    

       The lights, the people, the noise; all the things I was soaking in, that were soon to be gone. I shoved past people, earning dirty looks, but it didn’t phase me. My eyes were locked on the building a block away, my destination. I cut down the alley on my right, blinking my eyes to adjust to the decreasing in light. I kept my eyes trained on the right side of the building, looking for the escape ladder I found the other night.        The ladder was a good foot above me, and for once in my life I was thankful for my tall height. I grabbed a step stool I hid behind the dumpster the other day, and sat it directly under the escape ladder. I climbed on top of the stool, and jumped, my hands stretched outward. My hand barely grasped the ladder, and I swung from the handle as I scrambled for a good grip. I set my feet gently on the step stool, pulling on the ladder with a yank. It slammed down onto the hard asphalt, causing an echo down the alleyway. I glanced up and down the alleyway, but luckily no one heard the noise. Or they didn't bother to come look. I began climbing up the ladder cautiously, reminding myself not to look down, even though I desperately wanted to. I wondered how far down it was. As I neared the end of the ladder, it began to creak. I paused, praying under my breath that this ladder wouldn't break. The ladder kept teasing me with its small groans and creaks, causing me to cringe every time. I sighed in relief as I set one foot on top of the building, and steadied myself as I swung another leg over. That part I had made it through.        The wind whipped my hair back as I neared the very edge, and I tried to smooth it down, to no avail. I glanced behind me, a knot in my stomach forming. I felt sick.         I expected him to be here. I expected him to be here and begging me to stop. I expected him to try and be the superhero for one last time, even though he was nothing but the bad guy. But I guess you can't expect too much of someone. No one ever meets your expectations. He didn't even care enough to show up. The thought of him made the knot tighten as I moved towards the edge of the building, slowly closing my eyes.        "CASSANDRA!" A voice cried out, the ladder creaking again as someone climbed up it. The familiar voice rang in my ears, and a small smile appeared on my lips. He came. Connor Mayfield actually came. I didn't open my eyes, nor did I move out of my current position. He would witness this. He would witness how he tore me to pieces. Then it would break him, like he broke me.        I was yanked back roughly, landing face first on the concrete top of the building with a sickening crack. My hand immediately went to my head, the throbbing increasing. I felt something wet covering my fingers, and I pulled away to look. Blood.         "Are you crazy?" Connor yelled in my face, grabbing me by my hair as he yanked me upward to face him. I flinched, crying out at the pain that was added to my head wound. I forced myself to smile though, despite the fact he was beyond angry, and ready to throw me off the building himself.         "Maybe." I answered, shrugging contently, causing him to throw me back down. I groaned, the pain shooting up my shoulder as I forced myself to sit up. Soon he wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore. Connor paced back and forth in front of me, mumbling to himself as he repeatedly ran his fingers through his hair. I stood up quietly, prepared to launch myself if he tried to touch me again.         "You know, I don't even know why you're here. You don't care. You throw me around like some ragdoll, and now you're trying to save me? Wow, Connor. You are my hero." I spat out in the most sarcastic voice I could get out, a small chuckle escaping. Connor turned to me, a pleading look on his face as he took a step towards me.        "Baby, you know-"        "Don't call me that!" I interrupted, all the anger I've ever felt towards him put into that one little sentence. I was done. I was done with him, and I was done with myself. I examined a scuff mark on my shoe, before glancing back up at Connor. I really was going to miss his handsome face. His normally shaggy hair had gotten a trim, but it was still the same. His eyes were green right now, but ranged from green to the occasional blue, to the often brown. I'd always been fascinated with his eyes. And his smile, oh his smile, was still as striking as ever, with the cute quirkiness of his crooked teeth. He could make any girl melt. I happened to be one of those girls. Connor felt the intensity of my stare, and looked right back at me, tears forming in his eyes.         "Please, Cassandra, don't." he whispered, taking a step towards me. I took a step back, a faint smile appearing on my face.        "It's too late. It was always too late, Connor." I murmured, before turning swiftly around. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, knowing I wouldn't be able to do it if I saw how far it was from here to the ground. I endured the sweet words of him calling my name one last time.   And I jumped.     
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