Behind these golden eyes.

Ever look at a girl and wonder if there's a story that is killing her? A past to terrible to mention. Something that is eating away at her day and night. No one ever expected me to have the past I had.But they all know who I am and what I did, or so they thought. They don't know what I am or what I've seen. I watched as my pack was killed, Including my mate.
I want to tell my story. But I can't, because either way, people judge you. They judge on what you have done,what you haven't done, and who you are. If only they knew the real reason.

There are a few people who acceot me, but them alone, can't allow me and my brother to enter the pack. Only the Alpha, and consent with the Beta, may allow us to join.
I came to Praxton, Wyoming, in hopes of finding a pack that will accept me for who I am.A pack that will not judge me for the acident that killed my pack.
Maybe I'll even find a new mate.


11. Josh?

"Josh? The brother that died in the killing three years ago?"Ryder stood there shocked.

He nodded.

"And now for this."I said. I smacked his upsuide his head.

"What the hell?"he said.

"You didn't even tell us you were alive for three friggin years!"I half yelled half laughed.

"I couldn'rt risk both of your lives."he shrugged.

We heard two howls. Thayer and Cameron.

"My brother is so gonna kill me."Haven muttered.

"Same here.And Cameron will kill Ryder, then me, then Thayer."I said back.

"Alpha?"Josh asked like he knew.

"Yup.ANd hes Beta."Haven said as she pointed to  Ryder.

Josh nodded, glaring at Ryder.

"Easy there Josh."I whispered.

"I don't trust him."he whispered back.

I glared at him, and then heard a branch snap.

We all flung around, and saw Cameron and Thayer, breathless.

Thayer's eyes grew wide as his gaze met Josh's.

"Thayer, tell Josh what you said earlier today."I said.

"What? I didn't say anything."he was trying not to get in trouble from the big brother.


"Um.. No. You said that it was her fault that Josh,you're mom, and you're dad are or were dead."Haven said with a boat load of sass.

"You said what to her?"Josh was shocked.

"I-I was mad. I-I d-didn't mean it."He was terrified.

Josh was always way protective of me. And Thayer was always terrified of him. So when we thought Josh was dead, Thayer tried to be as protective of me as Josh was.I was always Josh's little girl.Everyone knew me as that. They would say'Hey there's Josh and his little girl.' since I was always by him.

"Thayer, you know she didn't cause that."Josh sneered.

"I'I know. I was mad because of him. "Thayer blamed Ryder.

"Back up off my Beta."Cameron sneered.

Josh walked towards Thayer who was staring like a deer in headlights.

"Josh, its fine.  He was mad."I said in my head so jsut he could hear.

"Vixen, its not. He said it was your fault. He shouldn't have said that. Even if he tought it, he shouldn't have said it!"Josh said.

"Josh, please lay of. Hes scared. And I think we should go home before it gets dark."I said as I cocked my head in a pleading way.

"I'm not done with him."he said, but gave in.

"c'mon. Lets go before it gets dark."Haven said like she read my mind.

Cameron eyes us then Walked with Haven. Josh came over and Thayer followed. Ryder was closley behind.

"You guys go ahead. I'm gonna walk with Ryder."I said.

"Vixen."Josh warned.

"I'm not a little kid. I wasn't when I was wiht Chase either. You trusted him, you can trust Ryder."I snapped.

I turned around and walked back with Ryder.

"Hey."I said as I fel into step with him.

"Hey."he smiled.

"I'm really sorry about them.Josh is very protective of me and Thayer was trying to act like him.And I really didn't think Josh was alive. And I really didn't expect him to show up. But I really liked today. Just me you and Haven."I said as I shoved my hands into my pockets.

"I liked today as well. But I think i'd like it better if it was just me and you."he said as he glanced at me.

"I'd like that to."I blushed.

"Follow me."he said quickly as he grabbed my wrist and ran off the other way.We ran and laughed for about ten minutes.

"Ryder, where are we going?"I laughed as we turned.

"Somewhere."he laughed.

He slowed down and walked and slid his hand into mine.We walked towards this pond area.The setting sun reflected off the water, making it a pretty orangeish pink.

"Wow, Ryder, this is soo... beautiful."I said as I looked aorund. There was a tree house up in the tree over looking the area.

"Wanna go up?"He asked.

"Sure."I said. I grabbed the rope ladder and poulled myself up. Once I was up, I walked around the tree house and man, this thing was a jungle.

"Ryder, this is amazing. Its a jungle up here."I smiled as I ran my finders through the leaves.

"My father made this for me when I was little. and I have come here ever since."he smiled as he looked around.

I sat down at the opening and let my feet dangle above the water. Ryder saw and came to sit next to me.

"Look Vix, How much do you know about Mating?"he asked.

"I know everything. Before the killing, I had a mate. Chase. and he got killed.So, I know jsut about everything there is to know about Mating. The attraction. The need. The feeling of emptiness with out them.The urge to protect them. The sense of saftey when you're around them. Like nothing can hurt you. Like no one can stop you. Everything is about them and you. And nothing else.Its them holding you to the planet. Not gravity."I looked into his eyes, then his lips met mine.

The worked perfectly together.Not exactly like Mine and Chases fit. But Ryder's fit better. The worked better. They were better.

One hand was around my waist and the other cupped my cheek.

One of my hands rested on his neck while the other one held me up.

I honestly didn't know how long it lasted.


Everything blurred together. Next thing I knew, we were laying next to the water staring at the stars, hands intwined."Hey Babe. What time is it?"I asked.

"about 9:15."he said.

I groaned.

"We've been out here for like 5 hours.My brothers are probably going crazy."I closed my eyes and listened to the crickets.

"I should get you home. You are gonna be in deep shit."he laughed.

"You're the one who dragged me out here.But I'm really happy you did."I looked over at Ryder.He smiled and sat up, bringing me with Him.

"C'mon before you get into even more trouble."he said as he wrapped his arms around me. His kisses my once. Short, but still filled with passion. We grabbed my hand and we started walking home.

"So do we tell anyone?"I asked.

"Do you want to?"he asked.

"Well, I need to tell Josh, jsut since hes the oldest. And Haven figured it out.Cameron will kill both of us, and Thayer would kill you."

"He couldn't kill me."

"Yeah he probably couldn't."I agreed.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"Tired babe?"Ryder asked.

"No."I lied.

He smirked and picked me up and set me on his back.I wrapped my arms around his neck and set my head on his shoulder and slowly drifted off to the feeling of his footsteps.



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