Making Mistakes

“Audrey?” His eyes were locked on Jaxon.

“This is Jaxon.” I took a breath before saying what I hoped I never would have to say. “This is our son.”

“Our son?” His voice broke slightly as he watched me try to sooth the crying little boy in my arms.

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2. Chapter Two

"Are you sure you're up to this meeting?" Annabella asked as she watched me get dressed, her eyes and face held nothing but concern. "I thought you wanted to stay away from him? So he wouldn't find out about Jaxon."

"I know. I know. But after seeing him... I feel like if I don't see him then I won't know what to do with myself." I knew that wasn't the answer that she was hoping for and I didn't blame her. She saw how messed up I was when Harry and I went our separate ways. "I need to see him. I still love him, even if I don't want to." I felt the tears coming so I tried to think of anything that wouldn't make me cry as I did my make up.

"I know that. But think about all you've done. Are you sure this is the right idea?" I looked over at Annabelle for a few moments before looking away.

"There's no way he'll find out about Jaxon and I... I need to be selfish. At least this once. I'll go meet up with him and then after this I won't go see him again." told her, but it felt more like I was convincing myself and not her. "I won't see him again after this." I said with more determination. "I promise." but I could tell by the look on her face that she didn't believe me. I was putting on my earrings when the doorbell rang. 

"I'll get it." Annabelle said with a sigh as she got up. I nodded as I slipped on my shoes and started towards the living room. "Uh, Audrey..." I looked over to the door where Annabelle was standing. She had the door where she could just see the person's face. "It's Harry." She sent me a knowing look and I started panicking. What if he saw Jaxon?

“Oh, hi Harry.” I walked over and took over the post of standing in front of the door's crack to block as much of the view of inside as possible. I grabbed my jacket and purse before stepping out and closing the door behind me. It made me sad that I didn't get to kiss Jaxon goodbye. “Let's go.”

“You not going to invite me in? Let me see how the place looks after all this time?” He joked, his voice light but it still pained me a little. Each little reminder was hard. He looked as breathtaking as usual. His curls full of enough products to keep them in control but not enough to make them look bad. His eyes twinkled and his dimples showing up when he smiled, not to mention the fact that he looked completely gorgeous in his white V-neck and dark wash skinny jeans. 

“Didn't have to come get me, I know where you live.” I said as he opened the door to his car for me.

“I know, but I wanted to come and get you.” He said with a smile then shut the door. I wasn’t completely sure how I felt about spending time with him again. Especially after I was the one who broke his heart before, but it was for his own good. Even if he doesn’t know it. The car ride to his place was silent, but I didn’t mind. I would rather the silence then us talking and it be awkward.

“Your place looks about the same. Louis still live you?” I asked as I sat in a chair at the bar.

“Yeah, though him and the boys went out to some club, I think. Or maybe he is out with Eleanor.” He shrugged as he moved around the kitchen, perfectly at ease.

“I see that you’re still as much of a clean freak as before.” I said as I looked around. It was so much cleaner than my flat, even before Jaxon was born the place was a mess. That was something Harry and I didn’t have in common, I’d always leave a mess wherever I went but he never complained and I would come back and things would be picked up and neat. Even though Jaxon was still really little he had that trait in him, he would pick things up and try to put them away.

“Yeah,” He laughed. “The boys like to tease me about it. They say I’m like their own housewife, cooking and cleaning for them.” I watched him as he moved around preparing our dinner.

“How have you been?” I said after a few silent minutes of just watching.

“I’ve been okay.” He finally answered after giving the question a few minutes to think it over. “I mean the tour was great, the guys and I have been having lots of fun. Life is good.” I heard it. The slight waver in his voice, the one that broke my heart. I shouldn’t have asked, I knew I shouldn’t have. Now leaving him once again was going to be hard. Last time I left him, I left him when I had found out that I was pregnant. He was just getting started in his music career and I didn’t want to ruin that for him, I didn’t want him to feel like he had to stop and stay for us. His music was so important to him, I didn’t want to take that from him so I told him that it wasn’t working out. It broke my heart but I had to do it for him.

“That’s good. I’m glad.” I kept it short and simple so that I could hide the emotions from my voice easier.

“What about you? How have you been?” He turned around and we stared at each other for a few minutes before I broke away from his gaze. Suddenly finding the cabinet behind him very fascinating.

“I’ve been okay.” I swallowed, trying to get rid of the emotions that were trying to flood into my voice. “I’ve been busy.”

“Do you still work at that little cafe? I haven’t seen you there...” He caught my eyes once more before turning around again. It was easier to stay calm and manage the information when he wasn’t looking at me.

“Yeah, I do but part-time. I work at a daycare full time now.” I said as I watched my finger trace patterns on the counter top.

“You did always like little kids.” I could hear the smile in his voice which made me smile as well.

“So did you.” I said wishing he could meet Jaxon, but I knew I couldn’t do that to Harry. Not when it would interrupt his dream that he is living, I will not do that.

“Yeah, I did. I still do too. They are just so innocent, so blind to how cruel the world really is. It’s nice to get to be around them and get to see the world through their eyes, even if it isn’t for very long.”

“Yes, it is nice.” I agreed with a faint smile.

“Ah!” Harry hissed. I looked up to see him holding his hand.

“What happened?” I jumped up and hurried over to his side, taking his hand in mine.

“I’m fine. I just accidentally cut my hand.” He said shaking it off, but I was already pulling him over to the sink. “I’m fine. Really.” I ignored him as I rinsed his hand off before washing the cut.

“Are the band aids still in your bathroom?” He nodded and I took off in the direction I knew his bedroom was. I didn’t really pay any attention till I had a band aid and was walking back out of his room before I paused and glanced around. It looked the same as it did before. I walked back into the kitchen where he was waiting, a mildly amused looked was on his face. “There.” I said as I finished wrapping the band aid around his finger. “Now I better help you so you don’t cut yourself again.” We worked on preparing the food together before placing the lasagna in the oven.

“How about we watch a movie while we wait for it to cook?” Harry suggested, leaning against the counter.

“Okay, that works.” I agreed with a smile as we walked into the living room. I slipped off my shoes so I could tuck my feet underneath me. We picked out a movie before he settled down on the couch beside me, but far enough away that we weren’t touching. It was a distance that would be between two friends that weren’t super close. I was starting to doze off when the timer for the lasagna went off.

“I’ll get it and make us plates.” Harry said pausing the movie as he got up. I sat quietly till he sat down and handed me my plate.

“Thank you.” Once again we fell into silence as we ate and watched our movie. l felt movement and my eyes fluttered open to see Harry putting a blanket over me. I blinked a few times before pushing myself up in my seat. “I can’t stay.” I said quietly as I swung my legs over the edge of the couch and set them on the floor.

“Are you sure? It’s eleven o’clock.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. See, I told you I should have drove.” I told him teasingly as I stood up, sliding my heels on.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He said as he grabbed his jumper while I gathered up my stuff. The ride home was silent once again but I didn’t mind this time either.

“Thanks. It was nice, I had fun.” I told him as we stood outside my door.

“Me too.” He smiled, his dimples showing up once again.

“Night.”

“Night.”

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