Making Mistakes

“Audrey?” His eyes were locked on Jaxon.

“This is Jaxon.” I took a breath before saying what I hoped I never would have to say. “This is our son.”

“Our son?” His voice broke slightly as he watched me try to sooth the crying little boy in my arms.

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3. Chapter Three

I was in the middle of making lunch when someone knocked on the door. “Finally. I was wondering when it was going to get here.” I walked over and opened the door without looking out of the peephole, thinking that it was just the delivery man with my package I ordered.

“Hi,” I almost slammed the door in his face out of surprise.

“Harry! What are you doing here?” I asked, completely in shock that he had just shown up like this.

“You left your phone at my house.” He said as he held out my phone.

“Oh, tha-” I started, as I grabbed my phone.

“Mommy! Dine-dine!” I turned around to see Jaxon sitting on the floor hold a broken dinosaur.

“Mommy?” Harry’s voice brought me back to the fact that this was serious ‘oh-no!’ issue.

“Oh, uh,” I tried to think of a way to get out of this without letting him know, but my brain had just quit working and I couldn’t think of anything. I was hoping it wouldn’t get worse but then Jaxon started screaming and crying because that was his favorite dinosaur. I sighed and just shut the door in Harry’s face so I could take care of Jaxon. “Come here.” I said as I lifted him up. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay. Mommy will get you a new dinosaur.” I rocked him back and forth, he had stopped screaming and was just crying now. I walked into the kitchen and turned off the stove till I got time to finish making lunch. I was planning on going into the living room to try and get him distracted by a movie, but I wasn’t really expecting Harry to be standing just inside the door watching me.

“Audrey?” His eyes were locked on Jaxon.

“This is Jaxon.” I took a breath before saying what I hoped I never would have to say. “This is our son.”

“Our son?” His voice broke slightly as he watched me try to sooth the crying little boy in my arms.

“Yes. He is our son.” I watched as he took a few steps back.

“Why did you tell me?” His voice hoarse, his face was slightly paler than before.

“Lets sit down in talk. But first I need to get him calmed down.” I tried to walk by but he grabbed my arm.

“Can I hold him?” I hesitated for a few seconds before handing him over to Harry. I watched as Harry bounced Jaxon around gently, talking in a low voice and it wasn’t long before Jaxon stopped crying and laid his head down on Harry’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“He sleeps in my room, on my bed.” I told him and followed behind Harry as he went and laid Jaxon down on my bed. “He likes to sleep in only his diaper. He’ll wake up soon if you put him to sleep in his clothes.” I told him and let Harry take care of him as I watched. I had done this many times before, but Harry hasn’t. Harry placed a blanket over Jaxon and just sat there and stared at him before getting up. We walked out of the room and sat down on the couch in the living room.

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” His voice was accusing and sad.

“I didn’t want to burden you. You had just started your dream when I found out, I didn’t want to ruin that for you.” I explained.

“That’s why you ended it, isn’t it? You ended our relationship because of Jaxon.” We sat in silence, letting him process the new information. “How old is he?”

“Fourteen months.” I answered, prepared to answer any questions he asked.

“Were you ever going to tell me? Were you ever planning to tell me that I had a son?”

“I don’t know.” I whispered, I felt tears start to build up in my eyes and I fought to keep them from coming out.

“You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to not tell me about our son! My son!” His voice was getting louder with each word.

“You’re going to wake up him up.” I said quietly, avoiding eye contact. Sighing he rubbed his temples, his eyes closed. “He is a lot like you. Besides the curls.” Harry looked up, his eyes locked on me. “He tries to clean up a lot, his eyes are exactly the same color of yours, he is really ticklish. He loves to just go around in nothing but his diaper.” I laughed slightly at that. Remembering how Harry would walk around in nothing but his boxers.

“What was his first words?” he went on asking questions like that for awhile before we settled down into silence again. Finally he just stood up and started towards the door, without saying anything.

“Harry?” He stopped and turned to me.

“Yeah?”

“Where are you going?”

“To get my stuff.” He said like it was the most obvious thing ever.

“What? What stuff? Why?” I stood up, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“My clothes and things.” He waited as if for me to get what he was saying, but I still wasn’t. “I figured I’d be moving in, so I could be with you two.”

“W-what? Moving in?” My eyes wide in surprise.

“Yes. Or you two can move in with me...?”

“Why can’t we both just live in our own places? I mean, you can see Jaxon whenever you want.” I didn’t understand why he thought it was a good idea to move in with us or us with him.

"Because I want to get I know my son. I haven't been here for the first year of his life. I don't want to miss anything else." The look of determination on his face told me that he wasn't going to back down. 

"Listen, how about you stay here tonight and we see how things go? Jaxon is still really young, I don't want to change his world to much." I crossed my arms as I moved closer to Harry.

"Okay. Fine." He sighed, "I'm going to go home while he is napping. I'll be back in about an hour, call me if he wakes up." He moved closer and pulled me into a hug. "I'll be back." He pulled back and walked out the door. As soon as he was gone I sat down on the couch and held my head in my hands. Because of my own wanting to see and be around him again, he saw Jaxon. But maybe it's not a bad thing that he is getting to know his son, maybe I was wrong. But either way I'm not going to let him give up his dream for Jaxon. Sighing I grabbed the phone a dialed Annabelle's number, I had to tell her about what happened.

"Hey darling. Is everything okay?" She answered the phone, making me smile. She was the best friend a girl could have, she had been there for Jaxon and I from day one.

"Harry knows." I raked a hand through my wavy blonde locks before leaning back into the couch with a sigh.

"What? How?" I could tell she was more alert now.

"He came over to return my phone this afternoon and Jaxon started crying for me and about his dinosaur. I didn't know how to react so I just shut the door in Harry's face and went to go take care of Jaxon, but while I was trying to calm him down Harry came in. Then he asked and I told him. He wanted to hold Jaxon so I let him since Jaxon wasn't calming down. Annabelle, Jaxon calmed right down and went to sleep while Harry was holding him." I rubbed my face. "He never does that. He never falls asleep while someone is holding him. Maybe I was wrong, Anna. Maybe I shouldn't have kept Jaxon a secret."

"You did what you thought was right for Harry and Jaxon."

"But that's the thing! Maybe I didn't. Maybe keeping Jaxon a secret from Harry was wrong. I mean, how would I even know if something like that would make Harry give up his dream? Maybe he would have just left, maybe he would have told me to come on tour with them, or maybe he would have even told me to stay here and have the baby and he would take care of everything when he got back.” I was close to hysterics now, I was starting to realize that maybe I had made the wrong choice. That maybe I had made a mistake.

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