Truly, Madly Deeply

'I hate you Harry Styles...'

2 years after finishing school and being tormented by Harry Styles, Ellie Laker finally gets accepted into a presigious performing arts academy in London. This was everything she had ever wanted, but she knows that it is probably too good to last...

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34. Over Again

Ellie's P.O.V 

I got in the car, hand tightly grasped in Harry's. His arm supported my waist, my legs too weak to hold up my own weight. I collapsed into the taxi, the driver giving me a look mixed with concern and surprise. 

'Could you just take us back to the school?' Liam asked the driver. 'Sorry for all this trouble, I'll try and make sure you get double pay.' 

He smiled and started the ignition. I leant back on the chair as the car started to rumble off the dirt track. So much had happened in the past hour. My mind was scattered. I was so sure I loved him half an hour ago, but suddenly I was doubting myself again. 

I felt his arm pull me closer to him, and I looked up into his green eyes. The corners of my mouth lifted slightly, but they didn't reach my eyes. 

'So, um, Ellie. Ms Schour was really hyped up about all this, and you know how the play is tonight..' 

I closed my eyes. 'Oh, I forgot. Does she expect me to still play Lucy?' 

'Yeeah, I think so.' 

I swallowed. Being in that play would mean I would have to see Hallie again, and Callum. I didn't really think what would happen if I didn't get run over by that train, I hadn't thought past this moment. 

I cleared my throat. 'Uh, I don't know. I mean,' I looked up at Harry. 'We've kind of sorted out everything, from the past, and well, being in the play might bring up old feelings.'

Harry's eyes burned into mine. 'El, we'll be ok. I promise.' 

I smiled, and fit my hand in his. 

~~~

The car pulled up in front of the school, and before I could do anything, Harry was already on his feet, ready to help me out of the car. Mikaela held my other side, as I half limped into the school. 

Liam caught up to us after paying the driver. 'Hey, El, I reckon you should just have a shower and rest or something before the play tonight, I mean you've been through a lot.' 

'Yeah, sure I'll take her.' Mikaela volunteered. She wrapped her arm around her waist and started walking down the hallway. 

 

Harry's P.O.V

I watched after them, a slight pit of worry settling in my stomach.

'You ok Haz? We got her!' Liam slapped my shoulder. 

'Yeah..' I nodded slowly. 'I don't know. I just can't help thinking that I had driven her to that stage. That stage when you feel like death is the best option, and you can't move forward anymore. How can what we have be love? When you love someone, you don't drive them to the stage of suicide.'

There was silence. I think Liam was trying to figure out something to say, but I had already figured everything out. I was bad for her. I couldn't be with her, if this was what I was doing to her. 

'We should go tell Ms Schour that we found her.' I started to walk off, but Liam grabbed my arm. 

'Harry, you can't listen to yourself about this. It's not true. you didn't drive her to that stage. It was a combination of events, from the car accident to her family ignoring her. No one is blaming you.' 

'Yeah, but listen to yourself. All those events you just listed were because of me. She wouldn't have gotten run over if I hadn't gotten in the middle of her relationship with Callum, and she wouldn't have gotten rejected by her family if I had shown her love in the first place.' I took a deep breath. 'Look it doesn't matter, let's just go talk to her.' 

And I walked off before Liam could try and convince me of anything else. 

~~~

'You found her? Oh thank god.' Ms Schour stood in front of us, her hands holding her chest. 'Ok, she can have the afternoon to rest up, but she needs to be ready for tonight. She still remembers her lines?'

I didn't really know for sure, seeing everything shes been through, but I nodded anyway. Liam opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Hallie came strutting down the stairs. 

'Is it true that she was trying to kill herself?' She said with a twisted smile. 

My mouth fell open, and I looked around for Ms Schour in case she had heard anything, but she was already off talking to another student. Liam's expression looked identical to mine. 

'How do you know that?' I fiercely whispered to her. 

'I thought it was common knowledge.' She smiled. 'Guess you were the one who drove her to that point right?' 

'Go away Hallie--' Liam started to drag me away, but I could hear Hallie's shouts across the room. 

'You were responsible to love her Harry, and you didn't! You are the reason she felt that way, so do her a favour and break up with her. You know deep down that you will never be able to love her as much as she deserves, so give the job to someone else!' 

And then the door slammed shut behind us. 

~~~

Ellie's P.O.V

'Feel any better?' Mikaela asked me, as she brought a steaming mug of something into my room. 

'Yeah, thankyou.' I smiled at her. 'And Kaela? Thankyou for coming to find me. I would.. I would be dead if it wasn't for you.'

She just smiled. 'You should thank Harry. He was the one who spotted you and literally flew over to rescue you. I reckon he could have done it all by himself.' 

My heart skipped a beat. Why was I having doubts? He really did love me, he had proven himself to me thousands of times. Suddenly everything looked so much brighter and prettier.

'Thankyou Kaela.' 

'It's ok. I've just got to go somewhere to prepare for the play, although I think Harry will be coming back soon. Why don't you read over your lines or something?' 

I nodded. 'Ok yeah.' 

She grabbed her bag and exited the room, and only a few minutes had past before Harry had entered. I shuffled forward eagerly at his prescence. I was going to tell him that all my doubts were gone. Every single one of them. Everything was finally falling into place. 

 

Harry's P.O.V

I'd made my decision. I had to break up with her. Even the thought of telling her broke me. But I hurt her, and I would keep hurting her if she was with me. But I would tell her after the play. 

She leaned eagerly off the side of the bed, looking like she was ready to kiss me. I nearly started to choke with the tears that were threatening to come, but I swallowed the urge, and also the urge to kiss her. 

At my rejection she looked a little surprised, but seemed ready to overlook it. She wrapped her tiny hand in mine. I stared at her fingers with a creased forehead. Was it too early to tell her now?

'Haz, I need to tell you something. It's really important.' She grinned and shuffled closer to my spot on the bed.

Maybe I needed to tell her now before I completely lost my nerve. 

'Ok El, but.. there's something I need to tell you first.' I took a deep breath. 'I think we need to maybe take a break.' Even before the words had left my lips, I could feel my chest heaving with the pain. 

 

Ellie's P.O.V

'...What?' I choked a little. 'A break?' I could feel my throat closing up. 'What?' 

He grabbed my hands and held them tightly, but I could hardly feel the pressure. 'Ellie, trust me, I think it would be better and healthier for you to stay away from me. Everytime you are with me, I am inflicting some sort of pain onto you, and finally dragging you to contemplating suicide. Please understand, I don't want this.' 

My breaths started to come in huge sighs, and my eyesight started to turn blurry. 'I was going to tell you all my doubts were gone..' I whispered. 'That I was finally ready to move forward from everything and be with you, no matter what.' 

Harry looked shocked. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. 

'But you obviously don't want that.' I quickly wiped a tear away as I got off the bed.

I faced him. 'Guess I'll see you on stage, and it'll be the last time you ever see me, because maybe you are right, and I am better off without you.' 

 

A/N I'm sorry if you think this is all up and down with the relationship between Ellie and Harry, but I just think it's realistic, it's what most relationships are like. Anyway... I couldn't bare the thought of this ending so soon, so I added an extra chapter :) But unfortunately next chapter will be the real last one :( but I hoped this chapter made it that bit better and I tried to make it really long :)

So sorry for the wait for this update, I have all this homework, but thankyou again for all your comments, I love you all. I'll write agin next chapter, last chapter :'(( xx

 

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