Truly, Madly Deeply

'I hate you Harry Styles...'

2 years after finishing school and being tormented by Harry Styles, Ellie Laker finally gets accepted into a presigious performing arts academy in London. This was everything she had ever wanted, but she knows that it is probably too good to last...

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30. Denial

Ellie's P.O.V

Yesterday was a blur. I lay in my bed at the school, staring up at the ceiling, trying to recall the events, but they kept changing. I couldn't remember what was going through my head when I forced my way into that fight.

Did I want to 'save' Harry. Did I still care for him? I'm astounding even myself. How could I possibly still care for someone that cheated on me, lied and betrayed me? I felt like I was second guessing myself, over thinking every move. Maybe this was just my way to find closure. Seperation. Gradually letting go of my feelings.

A loud snore interrupted my thoughts, and I jumped, before sending annoyed looks to the curls that lay on the opposite bed. The school had found out about him sleeping in another room, and had told him that he needed to sleep in his assigned room, which meant he was back here.

Could he see how much he hurt me? Did he even realise? He acted like it was nothing. Like I should be able to forgive him so quickly.

Tears sprung to my eyes, as emotions from that night flooded through me again, before I put the familiar dam up inside me, and the tears left as quickly as they came.

 

Harry's P.O.V

I woke up to the sight of Ellie, sprawled over the covers, hair strewn all over her pillow. I smiled. A sad smile. One knowing that she will never be mine again. I got out of my own bed, and slowly and quietly walked over to her. I sat down on the floor, facing her, observnig her features.

She was so beautiful. Her long lashes brushing her cheek as they lay upon her face. Her lips was the colour of a rose, blossomed and bright. I rested my forehead against my palm, sighing at what a mess I had made of this relationship.

I looked up again, my vision slightly blurry from the tears that had appeared. Looking up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from falling, I noticed a slight drop of water that was sitting on the outer edge of Ellie's eye. A tear.

I nearly stopped breathing.

Did she feel the same way I did? I tiny ball of hope lit in my chest. Maybe she would conside forgiving me? Maybe.

Suddenly she stirrred. I tried to quickly act like I was searching for something under the bed, but her eyes flew open before I could even move my leg.

She sat straight up, as rigid as a plank of wood.

'What are you doing?' She said fiercely.

'I--I was just looking for my sock, I'm sure it was under here.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'See. I told you you couldn't stop lying to me.'

I stuttered. She just scoffed and started to shuffle down the bed.

'No. No Ellie, ok. I was just watcing you, and thinking. Nothing scary.'

'We're not together anymore!' She yelled. 'So you can't just sit there and watch someone sleep. Stop making this harder than it needs to be.'

There was a pause. She stopped in her tracks, but seconds later she had recovered and was searching for clothes in her drawer.

'You're finding it hard to not be with me?' I asked quietly.

She cleared her throat. 'No, I didn't say that. I said that I was finding it hard to deal with what you did to me.'

I shook my head in denial. 'No, you said it was hard to leave me.' I grabbed her hand. 'Ellie, please we don't need to be apart jst because of one stupid, tiny mistake I made.'

'But it wasn't a tiny mistake Harry!' She yelled. She breathed heavily, before looking down at the floor. When she looked up at me again, her eyes looked glazed over. 'Do you understand how much you actually hurt me. I don't want to hear anymore of your excuses, but I just want you to know. What you did..broke me. Snapped me in two. I trusted you. I believed in ou. You were one of the only things in my life that I thought was real. And you took it, and crushed it.'  'For some slut!' She added.

There was silence. 'Ellie, I'm so so sorry. If I could take it back I would. I've severed all ties with Hallie, she's not in either of our lives anymore. Look, we've had obstacles ok? Callum, the accident, Hallie, but we've worked through them. Please, we can work through this too. I know we can.'

Her lip started to quiver, and I held onto her hand tighter, but I could feel her slipping away. Tears were now falling from both of us. Her hand was starting to leave mine.

'No, Ellie please, we still have a chance. I love you.'

She stopped. But then she just shook her head in denial. Fast, as if she was trying to shake her own thoughts out of her head. 'No. You don't love me. You never did.' I opened my mouth to say something, but she had completely slipped from my grasp. 'Please, just let me go.'

She grabbed her bag and ran out the door, still in her pyjamas. And I collapsed onto my bed, and let everything out, that I had been holding on to for so long.

 

Ellie's P.O.V

I needed to get away leave. I couldn't. His words, his voice. I was falling again. But I couldn't let myself get hurt. I couldn't bear to feel the same pain again.

I quickly changed in the bathroom, and half limped outside. Hailing the nearest taxi I hopped in, and let the driver take me away.

 

 

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