Reality Ruined My Life - Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Being the sister of Harry Styles, the new girlfriend of Niall Horan, and the best friend of 3/5 of One Direction, plus their girlfriends, always has consequences.

Some are good.

Some are bad.

And some are out of hand.

Hannah Styles' relationship is perfect, her friends are amazing, she doesn't care about hate, and she has few enemies. But that all changes around chapter 21. Therefore, read it.










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32. I Can't Do This

DEDICATED TO oneeeedeeeeeee because her comments make me laugh, (:

 

Hannah Styles -

 

"Niall?  Babe wake up, grandmum Liz needs to see us."  I say, ruffling my boyfriends dyed blonde hair two weeks later.

"I don't wanna."  He mummers from his pillow.

"Baby, get up, we leave for Paris at noon."  I say sadly, not ready to leave America, I mean yeah, we'd have to go back to London next week anyways because the tour ended, but still.  America was a beautiful place.

"I wish I wasn't famous.  Non of this would of happened."  He says groggily.

I gasp in shock, taking in his harsh words.  He doesn't realize what he just said and how it impacted me.  If Niall wasn't famous, he wouldn't have met me.  He wouldnt have met the boys.  No one would ever hear his angelic voice.  He wouldn't have gave me the promise ring that sat beautifully upon my left hand ring finger.  He wouldn't have promised to marry me one day.

It may be true, this person wouldn't have made our lives a living hell right now.  But what about everything before that.

Tears filled my eyes threatening to spill over, and I was trying my best to hold them back.

Niall sat up on his elbow lazily, and used the other hand to rub his eyes that were blinding my the New York sun.  He then looked over at me with a small smile before he saw my expression.  Tears flew from my eyes as soon as they locked on his.

"Hannah ba-" He couldn't finish as I ran to the bathroom and quickly locked the door, and sat in front of it.  I broke down then and there.  Letting tears fall from everything thats happened.  The stalker, the way Harry has been stressed, and constantly in a mood.  My apetite change, to where I only eat when Niall forces me too.  Hlding in these secrets from my mother, telling her I'm fine when actually breaking inside.  And then worst off all, the hate.

I knew I shouldn't have remade twitter, but I thought I was stronger.  I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong.

My sobs were now loud, and unstoppable.  I heard Niall cursing from outside in the bedroom, saying how stupid he was.  And constantly asking God why this had to come upon us.  Asking why couldn't it have been someone else.  Asking why can't he fall in love with no troubles.

I couldn't take it.  I stood up and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, my hair was a mess, due to the physical intercourse Niall and I had last night.  My eyes were red and puffy, and I couldn't help but think about how ugly I felt and looked.

I placed my hands on the edge of the sink and look down, to find Niall's razor sitting on the sink.  With the blade protector off and practically calling my name.

I told myself never to cut again.

I told myself I've changed from those horrible ways.

I told myself I was strong.

I guess it was all lies.

I slowly picked up the razor, cafefully braking one blade apart and holding it in the palm of my hand..

"Hannah!  Baby I'm sorry.  Baby I love you so much, I didn't mean it.  I'm stressed out.  You're stressed out.  We all are.  We are all in pain, and everything we say either doesn't make sense or we don't mean it."  He says pouding on the bathroom door.

I take in a deep breath.

"Go away Niall."  I say, trying to sound calm, but failing miserably.

"No baby open the door."  He pleads.

I ignore his constant bangs of the door, and constant commands to open the door.

I take the blade between my thumb and pointer finger of my right hand.  I took no time quickly sliding it across my left wrist, letting the blood pour into the sink.

I loudly gasped because of the stinging pain, and quickly fell to the ground.

"Hannah Marie Styles.  What are you doing in there?  Open the damn door."  Niall yelled from outside.

I looked at my wrist now pouring loads of blood to the bathroom floor.  I screamed in pain, making Niall scream and punch the door.  I couldn't do this alone, I needed someone.  I reached up with my free and unlocking the door, and letting Niall run inside with no hesitation.  he instantlu fell to his knees in front of me, and looking at my bloody wrist.

"Hannah... Why?"  He asks, tears already springing from his now stormy blue eyes.

"I can't do it."  I sob.

He instantly pulled me into his arms, and sitting me on his lap.  I cuddled into his chest, with my bloody wrist clutching his white tanktop, letting the blood seep through, but he didn't mind.  He kept holding me in his strong arms tightly.  Kissing my forehead, and repeating, "I love you.  I'm sorry.  You're beautiful.  I'll never leave you.  I'll marry you one day, and we will be perfectly fine, with no worries."  Over  and over again.

"I'm so sorry Niall.  I thought I was stronger."  I sobbed in his shirt.

"It's ok.  You'll make it through, we'll make it through.  You know why?  Because I love you.  That's why." He said, sobbing as well.

I look up at him, seeing multiple tears fall down his face.  He gave me a small, sad smile.  Which I returned.

"I'm sorry about your shirt."  I sniffed, looking down at the blood stain, then looking at my red painted wrist.

"It's alright.  Don't worry.  Let's go get you cleaned up okay?"  He asked, sniffing as well.

I nodded my head and stood up from his lap, and held my wrist which now felt like it was burning.  Niall stood up as well and took my wrist in his hands and examined it lightly, before closing his eyes to stop even more tears from flowing.  He sighed sadly.

"I'm so sorry, I ju-" I was cut off by Niall's lips upon mine, in a passionate kiss, which told me to shut up.  When we finally broke apart, he smiled at me.

"I love you.  No need to be sorry.  It's hard, I know.  But next time, let me explain, and talk to me.  I'm going to be here right beside you,  I' not letting it happen again.  Please don't do this.  Okay?"  He asked.

"I love tou too.  More than you know."  I said.

He smiled, then started to clean my wrist.

Sticking it under water to clense it.  He let me squeeze his free hand as he held my wrist with the other one under the faucet.  Then he took the first-aid kit, and searched through it, finding a wrap, and ointment.  He put some ointment on his finger, then swiped it gently, and slowly across the cut, which I could tell was deeper than I thought it was now.  He then wrapped my wrist in a white gauze, and sealed it with a clip.  he took my wrist in both of his large hands, and kissed it.

He let go of my wrist and grabed my waist, as I put my arms around his neck.  Our eyes both glistened with tears.  I leaned into my boyfriend, his mouth was overtop of mine, and his lips slightly grazing mine.

"Thank you."  I whispered against his mouth, before closing the small gap between us.  His lips worked against mine in perfect motion.  His tounge instantly slipping into my mouth, without asking for entrance, which I was okay with.  We kissed for a few moments until we broke apart.  Niall then took a green sharpie off of the sink, and took my wrist in his right hand, using his left to write on the white gauze.

"You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you.

You'll never treat yourself right darlin' but I want you to.

If I let you know, I'm here, for you, maybe you'll love yourself,

like I love you, oh."

He wrote in his suprisingly readable handwriting.

"I love you Banana."  He spoke.

"I love you too."

 

--------

 

IM SORRY OKAY.

I have a lot of shit going on in my life, so as you can tell, this story isn't one of my top priorities.  This story, as well as tyou guys mean so much to me.  And I thank you for putting up with the long updates.  Im so sorry guys.

I love you.

this isn't edited.

love,

Morgan

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