Jump In The Deep End

My fanfic from www.wattpad.com :)))

"Amber, nothing will be different between us." Louis said as we stood in line for his audition.

I smiled back hesitantly. "You're sure?" I asked him. "You won't forget about me when you're famous?"

"I could never forget about you. I promise." He said, flashing a grin at me.

Amber Michaels is just a normal girl. Her best friend, however, is NOT just a normal guy. He's Louis Tomlinson, from the infamous boyband, One Direction.

They have been best friends for years, and have gone through so much together. Through Louis' auditions for the X-Factor, to his recent break-up with longtime girlfriend, Eleanor, they talked every day. But, they had one problem:

The other four members of the band knew nothing about her. This makes it difficult for them to talk every day. Somehow, they manage.

One day, however, the boys discover their secret, and insist that Amber goes on vacation with them for the summer, and madness breaks loose.


10. Waking Up and Bloody Feelings

*Louis POV*

I woke up to a beam of sunlight directly on my face. I groaned, trying to roll away from it, but was stopped. I looked down to see Amber cuddled up to my side, the blanket tucked around her, reminding me of a child.

I smiled softly, remembering the previous night, and wrapped my arms around her.

I heard her sigh as she snuggled closer to me, finally waking up.

She looked up at me with a sleepy expression on her face, and it was beyond adorable.

I smiled at her. "Morning, love. How'd you sleep?"

She smiled back sleepily. "Wonderfully."

I pulled her closer and twirled my fingers in a lock of her soft hair. Her face was buried in my neck, and I felt her smile into my skin. Normally, I wasn't into the whole 'cuddling' thing, but I just wanted to hold Amber and never let go. She made me so happy. She brought out the best parts of me, and that was irreplaceable.



*Harry POV*

I hate everything. Seriously. It isn't bad enough that I didn't get the girl. NO. I have to sit in my room and listen to her fuck my best friend on the OTHER FUCKING SIDE OF THE WALL ALL BLOODY NIGHT.


I sat up in my bed, and saw my tearstained pillow. Was I crying? I wiped my cheeks. I was! Why the hell did this make me so upset?

I'm Harry fucking-goddamn Styles! I should've been waking up with a horrible hangover in some random girl's bed.

Normally this thought would be appealing, but right now, I just felt sick and guilty about even thinking it.

I hated this. It drove me insane that the one girl I actually liked and wanted to be with was the one girl I couldn't have. Maybe I shouldn't have liked her in the first place, but I couldn't help it. She was absolutely perfect, and I was honestly falling for her.

It was the first time I'd ever had these feelings for anyone, and they scared me to death. I had no idea what to do anymore. She was all I ever thought about, and I couldn't think clearly.

She didn't like me like that, though, and I wanted to die. Maybe that would make me feel better. But I could never go through with it; I'm too much of a pussy.

I just wanted to not feel like there was a stab wound through my heart anymore. I honestly felt physical pain. What the hell was wrong with me?!

I would do anything to stop the pain. I looked at my bathroom door. Did I really want to start again? It made everything so much more bearable, but just for a few seconds.

I worked so hard to break it, and Zayn was the only one who knew, because he caught me doing it. I was so proud of myself when I stopped. It put me in such a bad place, and being free from it made life so much better. If I started again, I don't know if I'd be able to stop.

But I didn't know any other way to cope with the depression swallowing me whole. I got up in a trance-like state and moved towards the door.

I knew I shouldn't, but my body had other opinions. I opened the medicine cabinet above the sink, reaching for the sharp, gleaming scissors.

As I held them in my hand, I thought. Did I REALLY want to do this?

I gasped at the feeling of cold metal touching the skin of my forearm. I hadn't realized that I had moved.

I could put the scissors back in the cabinet, go for a walk, and clear my head. I could beat this. I could go down to the living room, scratch-free.

But I bet Louis and Amber were down there, cuddling on a couch. I felt the pain in my chest again, and felt sick.

Before I knew it, I was applying more and more pressure to the blade. I was bleeding, but not enough. I moved the blade and cut again, again, again.

Argh! Why wasn't it working?! I had tears running down my cheeks, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I kept slashing the blade across my wrists, not feeling any better. My tears were falling onto my arm, and the blood and saltwater mixed. I was sobbing hysterically now as I threw the blade as hard as I could into my room.

I sat on the ground, letting the blood from my now mutilated wrist pool, and sobbed.

I just wanted this pain to be over!

I heard knocking on the door.

"Go away!" I yelled, sounding broken.

"I'm coming in, Harry." Zayn said quietly.

I just sat on the floor in my own blood and tears.


*Zayn POV*

I walked into Harry's bathroom, prepared for the worst.

I gasped as I saw him sitting on the floor sobbing in a pool of his own blood. His wrist was cut in every available piece of skin.

I hated Louis for doing this to him.

I helped him wrap up his arm, and grabbed him some sweats and a long sleeved t-shirt that wasn't covered in blood.

He was so fragile and looked absolutely broken. It pained me to see one of my best mates like this. I helped him to bed and cleaned up the bathroom.

I walked back out to him. I sat down next to him, and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Harry," I said, and he looked up at me. His eyes looked so dull.

"Is there anything at all I can do?" I asked softly.

He shook his head and I sighed.

"If you need anything, come talk to me. Seriously." I told him, getting up to go.

"Zayn?" He said quietly, when I was almost to the door.


He sniffed. "Thanks."

I gave him a small smile. "No problem."

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