Jump In The Deep End

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"Amber, nothing will be different between us." Louis said as we stood in line for his audition.

I smiled back hesitantly. "You're sure?" I asked him. "You won't forget about me when you're famous?"

"I could never forget about you. I promise." He said, flashing a grin at me.



Amber Michaels is just a normal girl. Her best friend, however, is NOT just a normal guy. He's Louis Tomlinson, from the infamous boyband, One Direction.

They have been best friends for years, and have gone through so much together. Through Louis' auditions for the X-Factor, to his recent break-up with longtime girlfriend, Eleanor, they talked every day. But, they had one problem:

The other four members of the band knew nothing about her. This makes it difficult for them to talk every day. Somehow, they manage.

One day, however, the boys discover their secret, and insist that Amber goes on vacation with them for the summer, and madness breaks loose.


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11. Secrets and the Blame Game

*Louis POV*

 

I walked downstairs to find Liam and Niall locked in battle on some video game that I couldn't care less about. Amber was upstairs in the shower, and Zayn was sitting off in the corner on a big armchair, staring out the window at the ocean. I wonder what his problem was.

"Hey, Lou," Liam said, pausing the game as Niall glared at him.

I grinned. "Hey, Li."

Niall smirked at me. "So...?" He dragged out.

"So, what?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

Liam joined in on the smirking. "I don't know. You tell us."

I was so confused. I didn't have any idea wh-

I scowled, finally catching on. "You've got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed.

"Well, it isn't our fault you two were so loud." Niall said.

Liam smacked him on the arm. "Niall!"

Niall just laughed. "Just press play, LiLi." He sputtered out, still cackling.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen. I figured Harry would've been up hours ago, and would've made breakfast by now, but there was no food (or Harry, for that matter) to be seen.

I called out to the lads. "Where's Harry?"

Niall and Liam muttered a quick, "I don't know." And Zayn stayed silent.

I pouted, even though they couldn't see it. I walked out of the kitchen, heading for the stairs.

"Wait!" Zayn shouted, shooting up from the chair. We all froze and looked at him. He glared at me. "Don't go in Harry's room," He spat at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What? Why?"

"He doesn't want to see anyone," He said. "Especially you."

I was mad now. "How can you possibly know what he wants? He's my best friend!"

He let out a bitter laugh. "Really? Because a best friend wouldn't screw over their 'best friend'."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I yelled. "You aren't making any sense!" I looked at Liam and Niall for confirmation, but they wouldn't meet my eyes. "What does he mean?!" I shouted.

"I mean that you made him cut again!" He screamed. His eyes got wide and his hand flew over his mouth.

"Wh-what...?" It felt like my whole world fell apart. Harry... Cuts? I was a terrible best friend. How did I not know about this?

"When did this happen?" Liam asked quietly. Niall stood there with his mouth hanging wide open.

Zayn ran his hands down his face, muttering, "Fuck." He sighed.

"This morning."

I dropped to my knees. No, no no no, NO! Harry was carefree and happy. He didn't cut.

No.

"You said..." Liam trailed off. "You said again...?" He swallowed audibly.

Zayn nodded. "He used to all the time. I caught him doing it once. He started after the Red and Black performance." He told us. "I helped him stop, and, until today, he hadn't since last December." He explained.

"He did for that long?" Niall interjected.

Zayn just nodded.

Liam looked at me. I hadn't said anything, or even moved. "Lou?"

I didn't move. I COULDN'T. My little Hazzabear.

Zayn glared at me. "You're the reason for it this time. Congratulations." He said before storming off to the kitchen.

"Hey, guys!" Amber said, walking down the stairs. "I ju- Louis!" She ran over to me.

"What happened?" I couldn't move, or speak.

"Amber..." Liam said tentatively.

"What happened, Liam?" She asked him.

"Well, today..." He started. "We found out that Harry... Used to cut himself. Then, we found out that..."

"That what?" She asked, eyes wide.

"Um, well, he did it again this morning."

I let out a strangled cry that didn't sound human. Amber wrapped her arms around me. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Liam told her.

"You know it's all you and Louis' fault." Zayn said as he casually walked back into the room. "If you hadn't come along, stolen his best friend, and fucked with his emotions, he'd be fine. But no, you had-"

He was cut off by me, as I rushed at him and punched him in the stomach.

"No!" I yelled at him as Liam held me back, and Niall held Zayn. "It's my fault! Not hers! You don't get to accuse her, because you don't fucking know anything about it!" I shook off Liam and ran upstairs. I burst into Harry's room and stood in the doorway.

He looked up at me with dull eyes and tearstained cheeks. He looked away.

"Harry..." I said, my voice breaking on the first syllable. He didn't look at me.

"Di-Did you do this... Because of... Me?" The last word came out as a whisper.

I had tears running down my face now.

"Kind of." He said quietly, obviously not meant for me to hear.

I walked slowly over to him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you what?" He asked with no emotion whatsoever. He just sounded... Broken.

"Tell me about... Why do you cut, Harry?"

He looked up slowly. "Why do you care?" He asked bitterly.

That hurt. "Haz... We're best friends."

"Are we really?"

My hands were shaking. "Yes."

He let out an emotionless laugh. "Sure."

He turned over and muttered, "Go away, Louis."

My vision blurred. I backed slowly out of the room and ran down the hall. I ran into my room and slammed the door.


 

*Amber POV*

 

I figured I had given him enough time. I walked upstairs, and to our room. I pushed the door open slowly. "Lou?" I said softly.

I saw him lying on our bed, snuggled up to a pillow, his cheeks still wet from crying.

I walked over and sat beside him. I gently pushed his hair back from his face and kissed his forehead softly. When I pulled back, his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me.

I gave him a gentle smile and another tear ran down the side of his face. I wiped it away.

"H-He said..." He paused, sat up, and took a shaky breath. Harry said we... Aren't friends." He started crying again, and I wrapped my arms around him. He nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck and leaned into me. I felt his tears on the skin of my neck, and I rubbed soothing circles on his back and let him cry.


 

 

*Harry POV*

I felt bad about hurting Louis, but seeing him stand there was too much of a reminder of everything.

The stabbing feeling hadn't gone away, and it still hurt to breathe. I just wanted to not feel anymore. Emotions and pain and everything were just too much to handle. I just wanted it to stop.

I know how bad this sounds, but it felt like the only way to do that was to just end it all.

I spent about 11 hours lying there, debating it.

There were so many people that would be so upset. But I wouldn't be.

The other boys would probably decide to stop the band. But it wouldn't be my problem.

No matter what the reason against it was, I kept coming back to the fact that I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. None of it.

But maybe I was just being selfish. Just because I couldn't deal with all of it didn't mean there wasn't anyone that could help me through it. I realized then the one reason not to do it.

I didn't have to do it alone.

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