Generation Fangirls

Everyone has that sarcastic voice in their head. That voice who comments on anything and anyone but never gets heard. This is my autobiography, my life, my thoughts about the craziness about a band called One Direction. The worlds obsession written in my words.

( Not meant to be taken too seriously. It's written just for fun. )


1. The enigma that is us

Everyone has that sarcastic voice in their head. That voice who comments on anything and anyone but never gets heard. This is my autobiography, my life, my thoughts about the craziness about a band called One Direction. The worlds obsession written in my words.

The crowd is completely mental. The screams are overwhelming and quite frankly piercing through my soar ears. The pressure is on, don't mess up. Thousands of young girls have shown up just to see a small glance of me and to hear me sing a tune. More than most of them probably just want to see me in person, shake my hand, and see what all the fuss is about around me and my boyfriend.
Oh but didn't I mention who my boyfriend is? He goes by the name Zayn Malik, maybe you have heard of him? And oh, that's me, the blond one in the middle of all the chaos on stage. My name's Perrie.

No, just kidding. That's not me. I'm not even in the crowd. But honestly this is what all (well, a whole damn a lot of us at least) dream about. Which is being one of One Direction's girlfriends, or anyone famous for that matter. Maybe you're a Justin Bieber girl, then you probably wake up from dreaming that you are Selena Gomez and been feeding Justin with grapes, naked. "That would be a good dream" I say sarcastically as I still believe with all my heart it happened in real life and it wasn't just a dream. Other people would say you are delusional if that is what you believe, I say you're a fangirl and probably a hardcore Belieber. And if you're not, then I suggest you see a psychiatrist cause you're scaring me. And if you simply are a Demi Lovato girl and dream about her being your sister and she takes you all around the world being the lovely human being that she is, then I salute you. Don't think boys fantasize about having her as their sister though...Nope. I'm quite convinced they surely dream about having a close relationship with her, but just without the clothes. Let's just say it out loud shall we? They'd bang her. Oh yes I said it, but you were all thinking it. Don't kill the messenger. It doesn't really matter which fandom you're a part of since we all are out of our minds anyway. Who remembers Wagner though? Wagner who was on X Factor with One Direction in 2010. If for some reason you have a mental breakdown or were dropped as a child you have every right in the world to come up to me and say "I am a Wagner girl". But just to be clear, then I'm judging you.
Or if you are just like me, fantasizing about anything One Direction related, then I love you. They are literally on my mind all the time, the ONLY thing really that's on my mind. Which is rather sad and creepy when I say it out loud.

As I mentioned before, I'm not even one of those screaming crazy people in the crowd. In my head I am though, and wish I was. But to be completely honest with you all, I am the one laying on the sofa with my laptop watching YouTube, cause I'm cool like that.
I'm the one you see on Tumblr scrolling through the 'One Direction tag' all day, every day. Some days I choose to only look at the 'Harry tag' for some naughty Harry-fanfics. I can feel you judging me by saying that, but I know you all do it too. Who doesn't need a little bit of Harry on an everyday basis? Just ask Nick Grimshaw, he knows what I'm talking about.
When I was around 10 years old, I really couldn't understand the term 'boyband'. I just didn't think it was a big deal. But now as I'm almost --? (wouldn't you like to know haha?) and I'm basically deep in the pool that is fangirl, groupie or whatever term you choose to use. I've more pictures of these boys than on my own family. I know, I need to re-evaluate my life. My friends fear for me, for my sanity. They don't know about us, they don't understand, they don't know what it's like being a fangirl.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm living a double life. As if I had a secret life no one knows about, only a hand picked lucky few who knows my guilty pleasure. And these people guard my most precious thoughts and secrets. Some would call me James Bond, I say Hannah Montana, just cause she's way cooler and I look a bit more like her than Bond. It must be the hair. (Hidden fact: I'm female.)

I must confess, I truly believe that "normal" people don't understand us. And why I've just said normal in a sarcastic voice is because we're not considered to be normal. The standards of normal couldn't possibly involve millions of girls having their ovaries exploding just from looking at a picture of this band we call 'our boyfriends'. And calling them our boyfriends isn't the brightest way of trying to put on a sane front for our nearest and dearest either, but that's just the way we roll. I like the fact though that we have our own language of some sort. For example the exploding ovaries, which we obviously don't mean literally, cause that would be kind of disgusting and you should really get in contact with a doctor if that happened. Just saying. But I like the expression. I'm just really confused though what guys say instead. Cause they can't go around saying: "OMG when they smile my penis explodes!", I just don't think it has the same ring to it. And if they shouted that in public someone's bound to get arrested. And let's face it, you wouldn't want to be the guy in prison who got arrested for saying his penis exploded. Think about the rumours. Or let's not. 

And also I couldn't help but notice at the very beginning when I supposedly sold my soul to Satan and was left forever alone with my One Direction posters and merchandise, so many of you girls died, like a lot. Not like died in the meaning of funerals, corpses, sad faces and tears. Well there were tears, loads of them, but not in the way you think. It's more in the sense of "I love them so much I can't breathe and everything hurts cause they're the most beautiful creatures who ever walked on earth and I just can't look into their eyes cause it feels like they're staring into my soul and slowly killing me with their sexiness and they're never going to love me back" kind of dying. So during a song, a video, a performance or lets face it, anything really, we die at least 5 times. And yes, I've done a chart. I have all the statistics. I'm just putting it out there for all of the wondering grandmas and mothers who have no idea why their daughters are screaming "My ovaries just exploded and I think I'm dead". No worries, she's just having a fangirl attack. We've all been there.

One thing I can't put behind me and let go off is the fact that when Obama tweeted something on his Twitter he had loads of retweets, obviously. Cause he's the president and all. And I'd never realised the power of this fandom and directioners until this moment. What I'm talking about is the fact that when Harry Styles tweeted the word pineapple he basically got 8451694712315174 retweets (because he's Harrys Styles for anyone asking, which I hope you won't cause I will personally come and tattoo his name on your forehead for being stupid). But the point is, Obama's tweet about something political about him being the president or something, barely beat Harry's with just a couple of hundreds if I remember correctly. And Harry just wrote ONE word. The word PINEAPPLE. Pineapple for God's sake! Not even a meaningful word like 'peace', just something completely random and uninteresting. That must have been one hell of a good pineapple. And now also one very famous pineapple. May it forever rest in peace in Harry's stomach. I'm forever jealous.
So saying that we have a lot of influence and power is an understatement. We basically rule the world. You should be afraid, very afraid.


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