Carry On

This story has a lot of reflections of how I feel and while it is based from events from my life it is not about me. In no way is the main character, Jay, a mirror of me. We have similar traits but a majority of the opinions or actions she displays are not similar to my own. If you have any questions feel free to message me at Thanks!!


3. Up and Down


  "Welcome" the sign read. I didn't feel welcome. It was cold and empty in the library of Diversity High waiting on the "guides of private tour to show". Dad had thought it would be a good idea for me to go up to the school and get a tour before school started that way I wouldn't have to be there on "Freshman Day". Apparently dad gets around because this time instead of a "Tranny" stylist kissing all over him one of the sexiest females I had ever seen had slapped the daylights out of him and walked away to go sit on a bench. She stated simply that he owed her and then opened a magazine and angrily flipped through the glossy pages. Following her in an adorably shy manner was a girl about my age maybe younger.

  My dad introduced her to me as Heily then walked away to go flirt with the angry woman. Heily however just stared down at the ground. I noticed she was wearing a sweater and black skinny jeans while I was in a "wife beater" or undershirt (whatever you wish to call it) and knee length plaid shorts. I wondered why she was wearing such an odd outfit for a hot climate like "So.Cal" but then I thought back to the previous summer back in Oklahoma.

  It had been the hottest summer in five years and everybody was running around in shorts and bikinis, eating ice cream, and swimming but I had stayed to myself and constantly wore sweaters and long pants. My mom was to busy partying to notice this odd behavior but eventually the loneliness eventually led me to self harm and that's why even though it was a hundred degrees out I was still wearing a hoody. I came back to the present and was shot into a realization.

  I grabbed her hand and tugged her toward me she came easily enough. When she fell into my arms I was shocked at how my heart skipped a beat and how butterflies suddenly shot through my stomach. That was a weird feeling. Was I somehow attracted to Heily? Wasn't it wrong to like the same gender?

  "Sorry." she whispered. I didn't know what to say. She was so quiet and cute. I wasn't sure if it was right but I wanted to get to know her... I wanted to date her. Was that wrong? She looked up at me and half smiled. I didn't understand why she wasn't speaking she was just looking at me. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out to see a text from my dad that read: Not to kill the mood but her mom is wanting to head back to the house(; Want me to pick you two up later?

 "Yeah" was all I texted back and as soon as he got the message they rushed out of the library. As soon as they left I noticed that Heily had disappeared. I heard a giggle and then it was dark. I didn't know what to do but obviously she was trying to do something so I stood still and motionless with my eyes closed. Suddenly I was being dragged through an aisle of books and then being spun around. She pushed me into a bean bag chair and then sat on my lap. I wasn't expecting any of this. I kinda gasped when she sat down not because she was heavy but because she had sat in a very suggestive position.

  She was facing me with her legs wrapped around me. She leaned against my chest and sighed. I couldn't help but wonder why she was doing this. It was strange having somebody be so open to me and physical like so. Even so I was enjoying it. She was warm and soft and everything was quiet and still.

  "Heily?" I stumbled for the next words to say. She didn't say anything just sat up so that she could look through the dark at my face. I sighed. I needed to calm down and take it slow. I didn't even know it it was right for me to be with her. "We should probably start the tour." She sighed and layed her head back against my chest. I felt her pain. I didn't want to move any more than she did. Everything felt right in that moment aside from the fact that I barely knew her.

She finally sat up and then stood. I looked up wishing she had decided to stay on my lap but I knew we had to get going or I would have no idea how to find my way around the school. Heily pulled me up and then led me through the dark to the door and out into the main hall. The tour was simple really all language classes were in hall one, all math in hall two, labs in three, and shops, such as building, welding, and auto, were in four and then the gym was behind the school in a seperate building. Lunch and Commons area was at the end of hall one. Not too hard to remember honestly.

  After the tour we went outside to a small courtyard with a few benches and a few trees. She plopped down onto one of the benches and I couldn't help but think of those few minutes in the dark. I wanted it to happen again but it was wrong... Wasn't it? Two girls couldn't be together.

Could they?

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