Carry On

This story has a lot of reflections of how I feel and while it is based from events from my life it is not about me. In no way is the main character, Jay, a mirror of me. We have similar traits but a majority of the opinions or actions she displays are not similar to my own. If you have any questions feel free to message me at Thanks!!


2. Starting Over

  I was just laying there. I couldn't move. The sun was shining in my face and I could feel the breeze blowing against my closed eyelids. My long hair fell all over the place and I knew that that had to change. Everything had to change. It was time to come out. No more hiding, no more holding back. The door slid open and the breeze turned to a wind and the gust of wind was enough to breathe life back into me. I sat up and slowly opened my eyes to my dad leaning against the door frame flashing me his sideways smile.

  "Hey Bird." he said in a teasing manner. "Ready to go?" I blinked. There was sun light coming through my... wall? I looked over and noticed I had a wall that was made up entirely of glass and the view looked out over the garden and pool. I was taken aback. There was nothing to be said about something so amazing. In the oppressive little farm town I had just came from there was never sun shine or breath taking views. 

  "Don't call me Bird dad. Jeez!" I teased. That had been his nickname for me since I was little and while it was cute and comforting I needed him to stop calling me that until I actually had some friends otherwise every body would just start teasing me. "Where are we going?" 

  "Well JAY we're going to the mall because you need some new clothes. All your old ones will be too warm for you to wear here so we're gonna go get you something more suited to the climate in So.Cal." His smile was warm as he walked through the door back into the hall way and yelled at me to get "up and at 'em". I slid out of my bed and walked over to the closet and opened the door. My bag and a big box was right in front of the door. I sighed, it wouldn't take me long to get settled in, but still just the thought of unpacking all those memories made me nauseous. 

  I flipped on the light to the closet to see a giant open space with plenty of empty shelves, racks and drawers. At the back of the closet was a vanity with a huge mirror and a small gift box sitting on the bench in front of it was labeled "To: Birdy".

  I lay the package aside for the moment so that I could get dressed. I grabbed my bag and rummaged through it until I found a pair of ripped skinny jeans and my favorite D.A.R.E. tee. I pulled on my clothes and then grabbed my glasses from one of the many outside pockets on my bag. I found my "Rasta" wrist band and a few of my "Kandi" bracelets and then grabbed the package I had put aside earlier.

  As I walked out of the closet I ripped open the package to find a "sidekick" phone and a "Batman" wallet. I pocketed the wallet without bothering to check the contents and turned on the phone to find that the only contact programmed in was my dads. I flopped onto my bed and right as I did so I received a text from my dad. It read: Hurry JAY or we'll miss all the goofy teens at the mall (; C'mon you gotta make new friends. 

  I rolled my eyes as I jumped up and made my way out the door and down the hallway to the front door. Dad was waiting for me outside with the convertible "Volkswagen" "Bug". He chucked the keys to me and I smiled. He knew me so well.


When we got to the mall the first place we went into was a salon. I sat down in one of the chairs and watched as a stylist came out of the back and attacked my father with affection. He just grinned shamelessly as she threw herself all over him. They whispered a few things to each other and then she laughed and practically danced across the room, spun me around in the chair, then stopped me so that I was looking straight into the mirror.

  "What can I do for you gorgeous?" I turned my chair to face her. I almost fell over. She was a he. He had long hair and a nice chest but there was a screaming Adam's Apple that was just giving it away. I didn't say anything I just flashed my dad a look of laughter and then looked back at the stylist. She was waiting for my reply with a sparkle in her eyes. I realized that not only was I still calling her a she but also that I was recognizing her as a girl even though she wasn't. She was no different from any other girl no matter what her real gender.

  "Cut it all off." She smiled and started washing my hair so that she could cut it.

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