Foolishly completely fallen

Life can be pretty crazy when your twin brother happens to be Liam Payne, and your touring around the world with them. And to make it crazier you've kind of got a huge crush on your best friend, who happens to be in Liam's band... Yeh that's my life right now. Charlotte Payne, that's me or Charlie as the boys tend to call me. People who don't know me compare me to Liam and think i'm just like him, when in all honesty were almost complete opposites. Really the only similarities were our eyes and hair color. Some think i'm using his fame, other's think i'm an annoying girl with the perfect life. When there's four people who know the truth about what keeps me up at night in fear. And why there are bruises scattered all over my body. There's only four people who i can trust with everything. When my life is everything far from perfect. Maybe i'll be able to finally trust another person enough to open up about my scary secrets and possibly find love along the way...

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4. Chapter 4 ☆ he's the reason for the scars on my wrists

***AUTHOR'S NOTE**** Hey guys! I've basically rewritten this whole story 6 times now, i've discarded at least 8 chapters after writing them. This is just the beginning of the story and i hope you enjoy it. It will be quite serious at moments and might be uncomfortable for some. Leave me your thoughts on the story below. The next chapter will start off in Zayn's point of view from when she ran out of the room. Tell me what you think he's going to do. Will he go after her? Will he confront Liam? Will he attack Liam? Tell me what you think will happen below in the comments! And thank you for reading, favoriting, liking and commenting! 

<3 Bee

*** i finally reposted this chapter, i think ive steered it into a better direction now! thank you for your patience and everything, hopefully ill be able to upload another chapter later on today!

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Charlie's P.O.V.

I was in that half daze of waking up but still too tired to move. From what I could tell, I was not sitting on the ground anymore. I'm lying on something fairly comfortable. Zayn must have moved me back to my bunk once I fallen asleep last night. The little voice inside my head awwhss at the fact he did that. And a few more butterflies erupt in my stomach. A tiny smile forms on my lips at the thought.

The bus was still moving but we must be close to the hotel by now. A breeze flows through the tour bus. Someone must have opened a window on the bus. I lift my hands up trying to find the blankets that must have fallen off me over night. But what I wasn't expecting to find instead of my blankets was the warm body lying mere inches away from me. Now that I think about it I don't know how I didn't feel the soft breath hitting my face, the weight of an arm across my waist holding me closely, and my legs intertwined with the person lying next to me. I peeked one eye open to see who I'm practically lying on top of. Knowing it's one of the boys I'm not too scared. I see Zayn's peaceful face mere centimeters away from mine. I look down at our intertwined legs and see the blankets have slipped down to about mid-thigh, letting the light breeze attack me in its morning onslaught. Then I notice that I'm still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday. Zayn's hand rests right on the small of my back. Zayn's sleeping in just a pair of plaid pajama bottoms.

I reached down and pulled the blanket up to our shoulders, and lightly placed my hand on the side of his face. Brushing his hair out of the way, that is for once a mess. The one way I like it the most, is when he just wakes up and it's still a mess. It's quite cute, if I do say so myself. I slowly take in his features and just watch his chest rise with every breath he takes.

My hand freezes where it is when I hear Zayn mumble "It's not polite to stare." I start sputtering out apologies and go to move my hand away, but Zayn moves his hand from my waist to engulf my hand on the side of his face with his huge ones. His chocolate eyes flicker open to stare right into my light hazels. "I didn't say to stop" he murmurs quietly. His thumb is lightly stroking my hand and he has a small smile gracing his lips. His other arm lightly tugs me closer to him so he can lightly kiss my forehead and brush my hair out of my face.

"Good morning." He whispers. The butterflies in my stomach start to erupt. A sweet smile falls on to my lips, and I hide my face in his neck so he doesn't notice the blush that's crept up my neck and has reached my cheeks. Giggling I say good morning too, but its muffled by his neck. 

After several minutes of sitting in the peaceful quietness I lift my head up from his neck to see him staring down at me with a sweet smile on his face. We both start laughing. I playfully swat his chest, and he chooses that moment to flick my forehead. I gently push him away laughing harder when he almost falls out of the bunk. His eyes flash with panic before I grab his arm, keeping him from falling to the ground.

"Whoa, that was a close one."

"Yeh it was. Jeeze. Thanks Char."

"No problem, and why am I in your bunk and not my own?"

"Well you would be in yours, but someone has some serious unpacking issues" he laughed.

"I completely forgot, I’m sorry. And thank you for letting me sleep in your bunk... I could have just slept on the couch."

"You honestly think I would have let you sleep on the couch?" He asks with a disbelieving smile.

"Well, I guess no, but you really didn't have to share your bunk with me, I would have been fine on the couch. But thank you."

"Don’t worry about it Char." He says quietly, eyes staring deeply into my own. His eyes flicker from holding contact with mine to something on my face.

My hearts racing. I'm just praying this isn't a dream again. He makes contact with my eyes again and his lips start to make there decent. I can feel his breathe on my lips. If I were to move even a centimeter we would be kissing. My heart feels like it's going to explode from excitement. He stares into my eyes for what feels like hours but is really just mere seconds, searching for something. Reassurance? Permission? I don't know what he was looking for but I guess he found it because the next thing I know my eyes are fluttering shut along with his and his lips land on mine. In a light peck, filled with un sureness. In a mere second there gone. But just as soon as they were taken away there back, with more passion and sureness. Is this really happening?  I’m not dreaming am I?  What am I talking about I must be dreaming. Zayn would never kiss me. He doesn’t want me like I want him. That’s it, it’s a dream and in any second I’ll wake up and I’ll be lying on the floor at the back of the bus.

Well I was wrong about yet another thing, because before I knew it, the curtain separating us from the rest of the boys was wrenched open. This is definitely NOT a dream. That seriously just happened. I just kissed Zayn. He just kissed me. My best friend kissed me. I think I might die my heart was racing so fast. Does he feel the same way or was it just in the heat of the moment that he kissed me? What if he regrets it?

 We separated like lightning bolts at the shriek of the curtain rings scratching against the metal pole holding it up. Zayn quickly rolled away from me as Louis stood there shrieking like a little girl. " OHMIGOD THEY WERE GOING AT IT LIKE ANIMALS!" I hid behind my hands as I tried to steady my breathing and racing heart. I hope he doesn’t regret it.

"Louis shut up. Please. Please just be quiet." I mumble from behind my hands.

I peek out from behind my fingers to see Louis rolling around on the ground laughing his arse off. As we hear footsteps racing this way from the front of the bus. Great. Just great. Liam's the first one to come in to eye sight. He has a panicked expression on his face. Harry's right behind him trying to see what's wrong. Liam doesn't notice us at first but when he does he freezes, gapes at us before narrowing his already anger filled eyes. Harry notices next and starts laughing like a hyena. "Oh my god. Stop staring like I'm some sort of freak!" I screeched.  Harry and Louis quickly scurried out of the room, no doubt eavesdropping from the other room. Liam just stood there motionless, anger radiating off his body.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” He seethes. “DON”T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING HER MALIK” he growls. Zayn freezes before pulling his hand back to his chest. I could feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes from just the pure look of disappointment and confusion written all over Liam's face. Trying but failing to keep them in, silent angry tears roll down my face as I quickly rip the blanket off my body. I stumble over a tensed Zayn, and out of the bunk. As soon as my feet land on the floor Liam grabs my shoulder roughly, before he can do too much damage this time I shove him away from me. He collides with the wall of the bus, letting out a growl.

“You can’t tell me what to do Liam.” I seethe at him.

“Yes I can. I don’t want you dating one of my band mates let alone snogging them” He growls back at me.

“Well that’s none of your own damn business, you can’t tell me who I can and can’t date or kiss.”

“I can and I will” He says before roughly grabbing my shoulder once again, his short nails digging into my skin. An involuntary whimper of pain leaves my mouth as Liam keeps a tight grip on my shoulder. I can hear Zayn trying to disentangle himself from the sheets as he falls back in to reality and what is happening not 2 feet away from him.

“No you cant.” I say narrowing my eyes at him.

“Oh really?”

“Yes really.” I say. Before Zayn can even climb out of the bunk I’ve already twisted out of Liam’s grip and kneed him in the groin. Liam falls to his knees, his face screwed up in pain.

I rush past Liam and out the door connecting the bunk room with the kitchen. Liam’s demanding calls go unanswered as I stumble towards the door of the bus. Through blurry eyes, I push past an eavesdropping Louis and Harry, who look at me with wide concern filled eyes. They try to grab me to pull me into a hug. I shove their hands away as I hear the pounding of footsteps coming from the bunk room, getting closer and closer each second.  I stumble towards the door, and when I go to grab the handle, the door is opened by none other then Paul.

Paul quickly notices my tear stained face and pulls me into a hug, whisking me away from the boys. He lifts me up carrying me away from the bus. Ignoring the boys’ calls as he does so. I hide my face in his t-shirt as sobs wreck my body. He pulls me in closer blocking my face as he pushes past paparazzi with some help from a few other security guards that had seen us coming. We quickly enter the hotel lobby. He shushes me a few times, trying to comfort me or at least quiet me down, so we don’t draw that much attention to us.

We pass a few other security guards until Paul finds who he was looking for. I look up through blurry eyes to see Niall looking down at me listening intently to what Paul says. I can’t hear much through my sobs and the overwhelming pain my shoulders in, but I pick up a few bits and pieces of what Paul says, “Take her up to her room… Liam again… need to go calm him down… you know what to do.” Then I’m being passed into the arms of my best friend. Who has been there for me, through all of this. Taking care of me and protecting me, every time Liam and I got into fights. He was the only one besides Paul, Payton and Justine that had known about our fighting. And when we fight, Its always physical never verbal. Well now Zayn had seen our aggressive sides. Paul has known since he became the boys’ bodyguard. Niall found out after the 4th time it happened after the band was formed. He had seen the thumb shaped bruises scattered across my arms. He had watched me carefully for a week, not leaving me alone at all. He had gone to take a shower and when he came back he found me curled up in a ball in the corner of my room crying. He had figured it out without me even having to say a word. Since then he’s been everything safe in my life. He knew all of my secrets, dreams and worries. He was the thing I could rely on when I couldn’t trust my brother half the time. Justine and Payton had known from the first time it happened. She was the only one who knew the truth about everything before Paul and Niall came along. Paul and Niall thought what’s happened in the past 2 and a half years was bad, they never saw what happened when I was younger.

Liam and I had never really gotten along. Of course we loved each other and everything, he was my brother for Christ sake. No matter how much we fought, no matter how much pain we inflicted on each other, we will always be twins. He’ll always be my brother. It started when we were younger fighting over our mom’s attention, toys, who got the bigger slice of cake, and really everything we could think of. One minute we would be fine, the next we were at each other’s throats doing anything to piss the other off. But sometimes it went too far, way too far. We’ve both sent the other to the hospital before, for various reasons. It didn’t help that we had taking boxing when we were younger. We mostly got in each other’s way, no matter how hard we tried to cooperate it ended with a fight. And I was just so done with the pain that he was putting me through. The boys knew we didn't get along, but they didn't know about the physical fighting.

Niall had immediately carried me into the elevator to bring me up to his room. I saw Paul’s quickly retreating figure dash out the entry as the elevator door shut. Niall leant his back against the wall of the elevator as he cradled my head to his chest rubbing my back, letting my sobs be the only thing heard echoing throughout the elevator. Before I knew it the door had opened and Niall was carrying me down a long hallway, stopping once he quickly swiped his key card, and pushed a door open. He kicked the door shut behind him as he quickly made his way over to the couch, where he sat down pulling my now quiet but still shaking form closer to his chest. My hand clenched around a hand full of his t-shirt as he tried to soothe my shaking.

“Where does it hurt? What did he do this time?”

“My shoulder” I wept, as he carefully maneuvered me so he could remove my shirt to see the damage. He carefully removed my shirt that I had fallen asleep in, making sure my tank top stayed in place. Niall grimaced as one by one the bruises that littered my shoulders and arms are relieved, some healed from months ago but left scars. Some darker than others while some are almost healed. Little scars litter my arms from where his finger nails dug into me. The many self-inflicted cuts that litter my wrists, some deeper than the others. One for every bruise or scar Liam has left on me, and one for every time I thought of taking my life because of him. Niall’s eyes darted from scar to scar before quickly narrowing on the five deep purple bruises on my shoulder. Blood was dripping from where he had dug his finger nail, breaking the skin.

 Niall quickly moved me off his lap before racing to the bathroom to get the disinfectant and an ace bandage, along with some ice. Before I know it he’s back, lightly washing the blood away, than wrapping my shoulder in a thick ace bandage. He then placed the ice pack on top of the bandage to help the bruising. Niall than goes over to the sink to wet a washcloth. I silently watch as he comes back and washed my no doubt tear stained face.

“Thank you.” I whisper once Niall sets the washcloth down on the table. He sends me a watery smile before pulling me into a tight hug, being cautious of my shoulder. Sighing I squeeze him tightly, blinking back tears.

“I’d do anything to make sure you were okay Char.” He whispered into my neck, his voice cracking at the end, betraying him. I can feel Niall’s tears fall down onto my neck. “You have no idea how much I worry about you Char.” He laughed brokenly. I swear Niall was put through more pain then I was when I get hurt. This boy has saved me from giving up. I’ve been so close to the edge so many times, but he’s saved me too many times to count. I couldn’t thank him enough for it. He’s really been my rock. The only thing keeping me sane.

“I do Niall. I really do, and I can’t thank you enough for it.” Silence fills the room as I lightly stroke Niall's artificial blonde tufts of hair. Waiting for the question that he’s bound to ask. He asks every time and I tell him, every detail.  It happens every time. He’ll calm me down, fix the pain, cry, and then ask the question. Every time. I always tell him, knowing he’s one of the only people I can trust with secrets as personal as these.

“What happened this time?” He asks quietly, almost scared of what the answer will be.

So I tell him. 

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