The death note

Why go on through the tourturous perils of life when you can be set free in death?

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2. sorry doesn't explain it

Sorry.

That one word means so many different things. But sometimes, sorry isn't enough.

It doesn't explain the deepest, most heart-felt regret I have ever had to endure. It doesn't cover the guilt I feel when i take a step, when I take a breath, because she can't. It doesn't do justice to the looks people give me when I walk down a school corridoor or my local road. They look at me like I'm a monster.

But I am a monster.

I have no soul, no heart, no life. How could someone inflict so much pain, so much hurt, so much depression on someone that they would take away their life because, to the victim, it hurts too much?

I may be living, but I can no longer live.

The barrier in front of me lowers and red lights start flashing on the sign beside me. The ground slowly starts to rumble as a train comes speeding in from the distance. My heart thuds loudly in my chest as i step on to the track. My legs are trembling badly, causing me to trip and scrape my hand on the sharp edge of the track. Blood seeps gently from the wound. There was a lot of blood when amanda died. Her head cracked open completely, displaying the mushed up contents of her brain. There are still dark red stains stuck between the cracks of the grey pavement outside the tower block.

The train comes around. This is it, the end of my life. I stare, transfixed, as the veichle races down the metal ladder towards my frozen body.

I dont want to die. I want to live the rest of my life, no matter what I have done. A fresh start.  A new beginning. I can't have that unless I get up now. But I can't. Yhe pain and guilt are ropes wrapped around me, tying me down to face my death. I struggle and twist, yet the train keeps advancing. Closer and closer I come to death. I twist and struggle and eventually come free of my conscience, letting me to scramble up, head thumping, and try to run to safety-

Too late.

Just too late to save us both.

Sorry.

 

 

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