I Love Him, I Hate Him

So there is this band called the Frozen Roses, and there's this group called One Direction. The Frozen Roses absolutely HATE One Direction, but their manager is having them go on a world tour with the guys. Will Love sparke between the two groups? Who knows.

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11. I don't think i saw that coming...

Harry's P.O.V.

I'm scared out of my mind. Isla can't, I repeat CAN'T die. I don't know what I would do if she left. I'd probably end up like Kylii. Hiding in kitchens, crying myself to sleep. I'm trying right now not to just break down and cry. It's practically killing me that the doctors can't wake her up. I've refused to leave her side. I haven't eaten anything in maybe nine hours. I wish she would get better and we could just continue with tour. Brandy tells me that both of our fandoms are worried sick about both Niall and Isla. I'm happy that the Rose Buds ( the Frozen Roses fandom name) and our Directioners are getting along for once.

Isla looks practically dead laying in the hospital bed, her purple hair fading, her skin chalky white, and all of the wires and tubes hooked up to her. The only thing that assures me that she is ok is the beeping of the heart monitor and the shallow moving of her chest as she breaths.  

I blame myself for this. I don't know how but it's my fault, I was with her when it happened. She was in my care. I can't believe I let it happen though. We shouldn't have gone on that walk.

I heard doctors coming down the hall towards Isla's room and I heard their voices sounding extremely worried. I wondered if they had figured out what had happened to Isla and I sat up a bit straighter. Brandy, Colbey, and Aurora had gotten the nurses to let them stay with Isla but they were all asleep on the same convertible couch. They had tried to stay awake but at maybe two in the morning they had dropped dead asleep.

There was a sharp knock on the door and a doctor and two female nurses walked into the room. I looked at them my eyes probably red and puffy from crying. The doctor looked at me his face looking he had something better to do. "Hello," the doctor said, "I'm Dr. Marcus, I think we have figured out why Isla had collapsed."

I nodded looking more awake than I have looked in the past two days. "What wrong?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly from not talking for a while. I cleared my throat and stared at the doctor with y green orbs waiting for an answer.

"Miss Isla Quinn is pregnant." Dr. Marcus said simply. "Her body was just having a reaction to the child. Yes the side where she was shot hurt but it had nothing to do with her collapsing..."

After the doctor had said the word pregnant my mind went numb. My jaw hung open and I could only see Dr. Marcus's mouth moving. I could hear nothing over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. My breath was caught in my throat and my vision was becoming blurry.

"Mr. Styles? Mr. Styles are you ok?" I finally heard and I saw one of he nurse's hands on my shoulder. I stared at it for a moment not feeling just seeing.

I finally looking back up at the doctor, "Are you the father?" Dr. Marcus asked.

I shrugged, "I don't think so." I whispered looking at my hands. Tears were welling up in my eyes now and I had no idea why. Maybe it was that Isla was pregnant with some other guy's kid and I was angry, but I had no idea.

"I have to be going now." the doctor said and he left the nurses trailing behind him.

Brandy, Aurora, and Colbey were still asleep. I wasn't going to wake them up and tell them. They'll think it was me. I decided to just wait for them to wake up.

A few minutes later though, I fell into a light sleep. It really wasn't sleeping. More like half asleep where my eyes were closed and my brain was shut off but I could hear everything and feel myself in the chair next to Isla.

The next thing I knew I was hearing Isla's feathery soft voice. "Harry? Harry wake up." I blinked open her eyes and yawned slightly. Brandy, Aurora, and Colbey had strangely disappeared from the room leaving just Isla and I. I looked over at her and her grey eyes were filled with tears. A few had rolled down her soft cheeks and landed on the bed sheets. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

At first I forgot what she was talking about and then I remembered everything that the doctor had told me. "Can I ask whose it is?" I whispered back, my voice filled with pain and love. I could feel hot tears in my eyes again as I watched her bite her bottom lip and stare at the pattern on the bed sheets.

"It was someone at that party we went to after the first show." She replied. She looked at the ceiling, "God...I can't even remember his name." Her voice shook on the second sentence and then she just started sobbing. Not the silent movie like type of sobbing. The loud, sniffling, gasping for breath sobbing. 

At that moment I felt so much emotions at the same time it practically knocked the breath out of me. I wanted to scoop her up in my arms like a small child, but at the same time I wanted to yell and scold her for being so stupid for not using protection.

I did neither and just said, "It's going to be ok." I still love her and I don't know if anything could ever change that. "I'll help you get through this in any way I can."

A small smile appeared on her lips, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks."

 

Kylii's P.O.V.

 

I sat in the kitchen eating a few crackers Liam had given me. It was dead silent in the hotel room and it was pissing me off. I stood up and shook cracker crumbs off of the shirt I have been wearing for the past two days I think and leave the kitchen. Yes, I left that damned kitchen with all of the good memories. Liam looked at me surprise showing in his eyes. "H-hey Kylii." he said a bit uncertain sounding. I wouldn't blame him I've been acting like I'm on my period times five hundred

"Hey." I say after clearing my throat. "It's too quiet in here can I turn on some music?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yes! Of course!" Liam replied jumping up from the couch and dashing over to the radio. He turned on and the first hit of the Frozen Roses came on. I started singing along and dancing around like no one was watching. I picked up a half filled water bottle and used it as a microphone. When the song finished I looked up and found Liam staring at me his jaw open slightly. I took a little bow and went back into the kitchen, where I resumed to my place on the floor.

Liam turned the music off for a moment but I screamed, "PLEASE TURN IT BACK ON!!!!" at the top of my lungs and he did. I grinned slightly and closed my eyes leaning my head back onto the cabinet. I heard Liam's footsteps coming over to me and then they stopped. I could feel his eyes staring at me. I could feel his gaze burning into me like a hot iron on my skin. It was almost so hot it was cold. I could fee goose bumps rise to my arms as he kept staring.

"You know you are extraordinarily gorgeous in every way imaginable." Liam finally said and I didn't react in any way at all. Not a twitch, a slight tint of red on my pale cheeks, nothing. I just sat there. "You know that don't you. You know that you can be absolutely irresistible. You know that I needed to kiss you are it would have never happened."

Suddenly my eyes shot open and they blazed with a blue fire so hot it could kill. I glared at Liam and I could tell he was burned. "You didn't need to kiss me. You didn't need to ruin my relationship. You didn't need to ruin my entire life!" My voice rose from a venomous hiss to an enraged scream. I could tell that was when I truly lost it.

At that moment I had completely lost all holds on sanity. I stood up and started screaming the worst things possible at Liam. With every statement I took a step closer to him and he took a step back. Finally he was up against the wall and I was right in front of him. We were nose to nose. My lips formed into a snarl. "You didn't need to do anything." I growled.

I spun around and walked back to my kitchen and sat down in the corner on the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and just muttered to myself. I muttered about the stupid secret that had just to be told. Then the next secret had gotten out. Then the next. I was seemed absolutely infuriated on the outside but on the inside I was just petrified. I was scared for Niall. I was scared for Isla. I was scared for me. I was scared I would never get better. I would always sit in this kitchen and just cry about my pitiful life.

'Someday I WILL get better.' I promised myself then fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning I woke up screaming and crying. Liam was at my side trying to wake me up. I curled up in a ball and tried to forget about the horrors of my dream. "Shhh, shhh. It's ok, you're awake now, it's all going to be ok." Liam whispered to me and the sobbing softened a little bit. My back shook and tears streamed like rivers down my cheeks.

"No, no, no, no, no, no..." I trailed off as Liam stroked my extremely mess blonde hair. I quieted down but the horrid nightmare was still fresh in my mind. Every time I closed my eyes scenes of the hour long night horror flashed through my mind. "Make it go away please." I begged Liam, as I looked up at him.

He seemed to not know what to do.

"Sing." I whispered and shuddered as another part of the dream came to me.

Liam nodded and started to sing softly. "Your hand fits in mine
Like it's made just for me

But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me

I know you've never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile
You've never loved
Your stomach or your thighs,
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly..."

He stopped singing and I stopped crying. That song, it hurt but healed me at the same time. On our first date Niall had sang that to me with his guitar. We had just hung out at his flat. It was what some people probably describe as the 'perfect date'. He had made us a picnic that we ate in his living room. After that we watched a movie that I can't remember anymore. Right before I was going to fall asleep he ran to his room and got his guitar. He came back and I was curled up on the couch my eyes half closed. Niall had sat down next to me and I had rested my head on his shoulder. He started strumming out a few notes on the guitar and then he began to sing in the softest and most caring voice someone could ever sing in. He sang Little Things to me and I had fallen asleep right before the end. I had spent the night and the next morning I got up super early and went back to my own flat. Everything had been so perfect. Why had it all fallen apart so quickly? Why couldn't he understand I still loved him like that first date? Why? I looked at Liam tears still on my cheeks and brimming my eyes. "I still love him you know." I whispered this. It was like a secret that no one should ever hear. Except Liam heard and he understood. He rested me back onto the floor and walked out of the kitchen.

I could hear him kick something over and the hotel room door slam behind him. I sat up and looked around. I was finally alone after a life time it seems I was finally alone and I knew exactly what I was going to do. I stood up and got my phone that had been laying on the kitchen counter for who knows how many days. I picked up my phone and turned it on. Once it turned on I unlocked it and instantly went to twitter. I looked at all of the angry messages from Niall's fans that believe he tried to kill himself because of me. I agreed with them and replied saying that I didn't blame them for thinking that. The people who said they hoped he got better soon I just smiled at. Smiling felt weird on my face and I instantly stopped when I saw something from my younger sister, Cara Zaruf,  she had said that she had told me to be careful and that she hoped this was hurting me as much as it hurt all of his fans. I stared at that post for such a long time I had forgotten to blink. My sister had always been harsh and brutally truthful. When she says things like that she means them.

After that I turned my phone back off ad got a pillow from the bed that hasn't been made for quite a while and went back to sleep, welcoming any sort of nightmares.

 

Colbey's P.O.V.

~at the hospital~

Brandy, Aurora, and I had woken up fairly late in the day and we were all starving. Harry was asleep in his chair next to Isla, and Isla was pretending to be asleep in her bed. We pretended not to notice and we left the room to get some food. One our way there we stopped by Niall.

We walked into the room and were greeted by Louis and Zayn. Louis gave me a bear hug that left me smiling. Zayn and Brandy just said an awkward hello. I giggled at them and walked over to Niall. He had just watched us come into the room and I could tell he wanted to leave this hospital and get on with his life. "How's it going?" I asked sitting in a chair beside him.

He turned his head to look at me and gave me a half smile. "As good as being stuck in a hospital with four different therapists coming in everyday to ask you stupid questions gets." He replied and I smiled a bit.

"So I know I really shouldn't ask this and I don't know why I am, but do you miss Kylii?" I suddenly blurted out and quickly covered my mouth. I couldn't believe I had just said that. "Ohmygod I'm so sorry."

Niall's half smile faded and he looked at me his blue eyes hardened, "I miss her yes. I miss her everyday. The thing is she isn't Kylii anymore."

The room had become deadly silent and I nodded, "You're right. She isn't Kylii anymore." I replied y smile gone as well. "She has become a different person, but I think you could bring her back." With that said I stood up and left the room with Louis following me.

I didn't make it halfway down the hall before Louis caught my arm and spun me around. "What did you expect for him to answer to that question? we all know Kylii has been severely messed up in the brain and heart by all of this. So has Niall and I have a feeling that they are both going to stay changed if not forever for a very long time." He said this in a soft voce. We both want our friends back, but we don't know how to fix that.

My lip was starting to quaver. I wasn't going to cry, no! Stop! Suddenly the tears started falling. I crying into Louis's chest and he wrapped his strong arms around me. I wanted my best friend back so badly. It tor at me everyday to see my best friend sit in a kitchen and cry. It was an unimaginable pain. It hurt in my heart and my head and just everywhere.

Louis didn't say anything to comfort me he just kept me embraced in a hug until my crying had subsided. I pulled away from him and he just looked at me. I couldn't tell what was in his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, confused.

Louis shook his head and looked away his cheek turning a deep shade of red. "Oh umm what?" he mumbled still blushing madly.

"Pleeeaase tell me." I begged wiping my eyes so the tears would go away.

he finally looked me in the eye and just mumbled, "Well I think you look really pretty."

I blushed and looked at what I was wearing. I wore a pair of pink, blue, and purple tie dye jeans and a black V-neck t-shirt. My hair was roughly brushed through and the pink was starting to fade. I wasn't wearing much make-up and I haven't showered since the night before yesterday. Let me tell you I felt disgusting no matter how much deodorant and perfume I put on. "I look fairly horrifying today." I said.

"That's what you see. I see this amazing girl with a beautiful heart." Louis said and it was my turn to blush. My cheeks turned a deep shade of red and I looked at my tattered and old converse. I think they were supposed to be purple but they looked greyish now. Louis tipped my heard up to look at him gently and he smiled. I smiled back, "You also have a stunning smile." he said.

I smiled wider then. No one said these things about me. the first thing people think when they see me is, troublemaker. I'm not denying that I am, but I have more to me than just my trouble. I was pretty sure Louis saw past that and liked it. "Did you know that I find you fairly handsome?" I asked, and realized we were being all romanticish in a hospital hallway. It was perfect!

 Louis's grin widened, "Why thank you." he replied taking a little bow, but keeping his eyes looking at me.

"You know what? I think we could help Niall and Kylii to get back to the actual Niall and Kylii." I declared, and Louis nodded in agreement.

We turned and walked back to Niall's room, where things would just get crazier than before.

 

Brandy's P.O.V.

 

The first thing that came to mind when I heard the news was. No that must be a mistake. Isla wouldn't be so stupid. I wasn't particularly angry though. Just very surprised. Harry had came to Niall's room and told us the news that Isla was pregnant. At first I thought Harry was the father and I was ready to beat the sh*t out of him for doing that to her. Then he told us it was some guy at a party. I knew Isla got very crazy when she was drunk, but I didn't think she would ever get hooked up with some idiot who doesn't know how to use a condom.

I was just sitting on the couch in the room with Zayn and Harry when Louis and Colbey came into the room. I jumped up from the couch and ran over to Colbey. I leaned over to her and whispered in her ear, "Isla's pregnant."

Colbey's jaw dropped and she stared at me like I had told her the biggest lie in the world. "No." was all she said.

Louis looked at me very confused, "What happened?" he asked.

"Isla's pregnant." I said bluntly.

instantly Louis's gaze went to Harry. It was a hard glare and Harry put his hands up, "I didn't do it." he said, "some guy at a party."

Louis nodded but still looked skeptical.

"But she's only eighteen."Colbey said softly, like all of the will in her had just disappeared. "what is Ryan going to think? He's going to be furious"

I hadn't thought of what Isla's brother would think of all of this. I turned to look at Harry, "When Isla's brother finds out, you better make sure get the point that you aren't the father across very clearly." I said and Harry nodded tensely, looking like he was going to be sick.

I felt like I was going to be sick. This was by far the worst tour ever. I don't think anything will ever be worse than this. "We can't let the public know about this." I stated very clearly. "No one shall know, if we can we will try to keep it a secret for all nine months." Everyone nodded and I sat down again not feeling well enough to say anything else.

 

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