She's Not Afraid

Samantha writes her favorite band (and her idols), One Direction, a fan letter. She figures noones will even read it, but it feels good to finally tells someone what shes feeling. When she gets a letter back, she expects it to be the boys signatures. Just the same as every other fan gets. But what happens when the boys actually read her letter? Will she meet her idols? Will one of them start to fall? Maybe more than one... Read to find out ;)

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2. The Letter.

This is how it went...

       Dear Harry, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn,

                   Hi boys. Or, whoever is actually reading this. I know that this is probablly just like, managment is reading this and then gonna send me some copy of the boys signatures, but it feels good to vent out to someone abot my life who doesnt know me and wont judge me for my looks, weight, and anything. Because im just another "obsessed" fan, writing to her idols, getting the sam reply as everyone else. But oh well. So, my name is Samantha Riley. Anyways, Im not that popualr at school. In better terms, i think the janitor is more popualr than me. Im well known in school, but not foor good reasons. Everyone makes fun of me. I sit in the back of the class, alone at lunch, and walk home by myself. My parents split up when I was 11. My dad use to abuse me and my mom. I dont talk to him anymore. I live with my mom and her new boyfriend. I swear, he's my age... not kidding. She's a slut though. they both go and get drunk and have sex. And its not allways with eachother. Yah, they cheat. But do they care? Nope..  I do have one friend though. Her name is Jamie. But she had to go away to college. In Callifornia. :( I miss her. Besides my aunt, she's the only person who actually cares about me. Jenn (the "cool" girl in my school) makes fun of me and beats me up everyday. She did it today to, so im glad to be able to vent to someone. Even if its some random member of 1D manegment. It feels different than writing in a diary. This makes me feel like someone is actually listening to me. It makes me feel.... almost wanted...

                  Ok. So now Ill properlly introduce myself. My name is Samantha (Sam) Riley. I have medium, brown, frizzy, curly hair. I have dull green eyes surrounding my big nose. I actually like my lips though. I guess there a good size, and they're a natural pink! I barely ever wear makeup. Every allready hates me, so who am i trying to impress? My favorite food is Tacos and i like Subway, shopping, Delias, string friendship bracelets, flowers, and CHOCLATE (dont judge). I dont like shrimp, veggies (except carrots!!), greasy hair, people who judge, bullys, and fancy places. Im more of a layed back person..  My favorite movie is the Lion King and I like to sit around all day, eat icecream, and  watch everysingle Disney movie known to man. Call me lazy if you wish, but i honestly dont care what you think. Not to sound like a bitch, but I've been bullied for so many years, im just immune to it.

               My lifes not a great life, but its better than it was is 2009. I was 14 years old (im 17 now and my birthday is May 5). I use to cut myself and one day, June 9 2009, i was brought into the hospital from cutting to deep and loosing to much blood. The only thing that maked me happy is my art, and one day my mom can home drunk, beat me up, and burned all my art and art supplies. I only have one peice that survived the fire, but its hidden. The only person that has ever seen it is my Aunt. Not even Jamie. It was a picture i painted when i was 13. I made it on the anniversery of the day my dad just left me and my horrible mother. The painting is of a family. A happy family. With a normal house, two parents who dont hate eachother, and a kid. A kid who is loved and cared for by her family. A kid who nobody hates, and a kid who never tried suicide. Obviously, i lived.

             My mother didnt even come to the hospital. Her boyfriend, at the time, took her on a vacation, the month i was in the hospital. The reason i was in the hospital for so long is because I tried to get extra pills, to try and die again. I didnt want to live. And still, im not even sure. I feel like im just an empty shell, walking around with no purpose, no hope, no love. I just dont know anymore. I know what all the people say, "Life is special." and "Appreciate what you have." But in all honesty, what do i have to appreciate? I take care of myself while my mom is out probablly o nthe street corner for a few extra bucks, with her nasty ass boyfriend who's probablly her pimp! Oh welll.. cant change what you cant change..

            Im sorry to the person who had to read this letter (if anyone even read it). I know you might think im a drama queen who is over exagerating, but i hope you dont. 'Cuz i just spilled my life to you in a one page letter, and i dont even know why. Noone is going to read this, expecially not the boys. At least i got it off my chest. Well, if anyone did read this, tell the boys i said "hey!". Kay. Bye.

                                                                        ~ Sammi:)

 

 I alos attached my school picture to the back of the paper.

 

                        A few tears fell on my letter while i was writing, smudging a bit of my pen. Oops.. oh well, it's most likely that noone is going to read it. My moms probablly right. Even if they did read them, theyd stop at the first sentence of mine. They probablly dont want to hear some depressed teenagers life drama story. They would probablly just figure im making it up for attention. But trust me, attention is the last thing i want. I slipped on some sweats and a long sleeve shirt to cover up all my bruses, and left for the post office. I cant just put it in my mail box because my mom would probablly just take it out, read it, and then burn it, along with the rest of my dreams here on earth.

                        I wonder what heaven's like. Would all the pain stop? Would everyone like me? Would the except me? No Sammi! You can't start thinking about these things again! You promised yourself you would ever cut or anything like that EVER again! Atleats i have a home to sleep in, and food to eat. At least I survived my life, and if i coudl of survived when i was 14, i can survive now. I shut the door and made my way to the post office..

 

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