For The Love Of Leesi

Eighteen years and I have finally found out who my parents are--well my father anyway. Knowing that you're father is Zayn Malik from the used-to-be huge boy band is a complete change. So it looks like I'm spending the summer in London. It's time to learn who I really am, who I truly love, and if in the end I will able to tell the difference from reality and fantasy. *Sequel to For The Love Of Clara*

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17. How Could You?

I slowly walked down the stairs. Jed behind me, his fingertips lingering on the small part of my back. I was so nervous, scared, pissed off, every emotion I could go through I was. I entered the hallway that took me into the living room. I saw Zayn leaning against the counter, Perrie beside him. 

He saw my appearance and turned towards me. 

"Leesi," he breathed. "I'm so sorry."

I looked away from him and towards the table. I looked across the wood and saw her. The woman who I should've called mother. 

"Leesi," she looked up at me. My name coming from her lips was foreign and not appealing. I wanted her to shut up and not say my name again. 

"Don't say my name," I spat out roughly. 

"Okay," she muttered. 

I leaned against the wall, not wanting to sit down. Not wanting to think they had control over me. 

"Explain this bullshit to me," I said, crossing my arms. Jed stood beside me, and I knew Zayn would rather not have him be there, but if he told him to leave I would be right behind him. 

"When I was pregnant with you," she started. "I knew Zayn was the father but I wasn't going to tell Harry that. I loved Harry so much, but Zayn was always there. Harry gave me everything, Zayn gave me the world. Harry was different eighteen years ago. He was harsh, mean, and I'm still amazed how I made it through with him. He changed a little when I became pregnant, but I already knew who the father was. I wasn't sure what to do, tell him the truth or--."

"Stop," I said to her. "I just want to know why."

She exhaled. "I told Zayn. I was scared to bring a child into this world. A baby I could never take care of."

"A child whose father is one of the biggest paid boy band members in the world?"

"You don't understand," she started. "I didn't want anything from Zayn or Harry. I wanted to go back to my normal life. I regretted ever getting involved with their life and I knew if I kept you, you would always ask who you father was. I didn't need the press at my windows everyday and you don't deserve that. No one deserves to be born into something so invading."

"Then why Niall and Lola? Niall's in the same band."

"I know. Niall and Lola were settling down though. Niall had already planned to move to America and I thought that would be the perfect place for you to grow. Away from One Direction, away from the past. And I knew that if something traumatic happened to someone close to the band, the band would break up. I decided to fake my own death, Zayn knew, and I later told my brother, your uncle." 

"But they buried you."

"No, they buried an empty casket. Zayn took me from the hospital that night and I moved to Bradford. There's where I've been until I heard you were in the UK and I went to London to maybe just see you in person. See how beautiful you've grown, how--."

"You have no right," I said harshly. "You torn me from both my parents. Do you know how long I've wanted to know who I really belong too? Do you know how confused I was my entire life?"

"I know--."

"No! You don't fucking know! You were never there to know!"

"Lees," muttered Jed as he came close to me. I could feel his breath running along my neck. He felt so good. 

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry I have nothing to say to any of you. I thought I knew who my family is, I guess I was wrong. Where's James?"

Zayn cleared his throat. "He's gone home. Left earlier today."

I nodded, "Good. I'm going home. I've been here way to long." I turned towards Jed. "Come with me?"

He looked down into my eyes, searching. "I go anywhere you tell me." 

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