Random and just something I wrote to help me think... About other stuff to write, etc etc.


1. Patterns

You hate the life, its very existence threatens to smuggle you and capture you. Maybe it already has...

The smashed glass on the floor lies like the powdered grit of your hearts. The tattered photographs from their ruined frames litter the floor. Scratches on the permanently happy faces, an unrealistic depiction of your lives. That wedding plate broken into two pieces, that chair knocked over.

A phone rings from another room, your eyes do not stray form the same spot on the floor. Fixated and never moving. Your on your own for now. No doubt you will make up later. He will return and you will kiss. Heal the wounds. Buy new frames, hoover the glass, right the chair. Not all is returned though.

The plate is broken. No glue can hide the crack, the large gulf that illustrates your differences and the bridge never to be made. 

The pictures are lost. The smiles faded at last. Happier times gone, relevant.

And your heart. How many times can you break it in the same place? Major heart surgery always takes time... Always has, always will.

He comes back to you, and you both cry. He hugs you. You hug him.

Tears of hurt mingle with the passion you feel as they spill over your lashes. Droplets hang suspended then fall to your cheeks, slipping to your chin.

Over and over.

Again and again.

You will not tell anybody, they only say that "What does not kill you, makes you stronger! but you have learnt it makes you weaker. That lyrics and fantasy are not remotely real.

You learnt it when you met him... As he said you were beautiful, then later in an argument called you ugly. 

You learnt it when you said you would never love another, then later in a fit of anger... Lusted for that man in front of the one you promised.

This entire life seems to be on e long twisted tale of hate. You wonder if its worth it... Or if you should just leave it behind... Like you would if it were anything else. 

You wonder, yet you know... You never will. 

This twisted pattern of emotion you follow, never ends. It carries on and on, making you resent each and every single minute of it. 

You will never leave though, it is in the design of the pattern...



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