One Direction Minus One

Louis is dead. Suicide. Harry misses his friend and his "bromance". Feeling broken and confused, Harry goes to the farthest limits to find out why Louis killed himself with the help of the other lads. Was Harry just another complication in Louis's life that he felt such a strong need to get away from? The most important question is: Will One Direction still be together with one of their "brothers" gone?

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31. Why Am I Still Breathing?

Harry's POV

Niall walked back into my room as soon as the nurse was done. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot. His face was red and splotchy. He looked at me then looked at the tubes in my arms.

"Where you actually going to do it, Harry?" Niall asked.

"Yes, Niall," I whispered.

He started crying.

"Why, Hazza?" he all but shouted at me. "Why?"

"I can't stand it anymore. My best friend is gone. Nobody could take his place and One Direction isn't the same without him," I started sobbing.

"And you don't think any of us think of you as a best friend?" Niall demanded. "If you think our band isn't the same without Louis, imagine what it would be like with you gone."

"You boys would be fine without me," I said, even though I knew it wasn't true.

"No, we wouldn't," Niall said. "Because not only do you have more solos than the rest of us but you are also our brother. Liam and Zayn would go mad if you were gone. Then One Direction would be over for sure."

"Give me my phone," I demanded. He hesitantly handed it over.

I put on a song called Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day. Niall grabbed my phone as soon as he realized what the song was.

"Harry, you need to stop listening to these sad songs with lyrics that will make you miserable," he said, putting my phone in his pocket.

"But-" I started before Niall cut me off.

"No, Harry," he said. "I'm going to hold onto your phone for a while."

Niall all of a sudden walked out of the room.

"Why can't I just die already?" I shouted. "Why am I still breathing?"

I didn't hear any voices in my head answering these questions. I smiled, knowing that the voice in my head couldn't stop me anymore.

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