One Direction Minus One

Louis is dead. Suicide. Harry misses his friend and his "bromance". Feeling broken and confused, Harry goes to the farthest limits to find out why Louis killed himself with the help of the other lads. Was Harry just another complication in Louis's life that he felt such a strong need to get away from? The most important question is: Will One Direction still be together with one of their "brothers" gone?

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33. Release

Harry's POV

I fell asleep. At first, I wasn't really dreaming. Then, I started to hear a voice that was none other than my own. It wasn't me talking. Not the me that was watching the dream, takin it all in, but the me who was in the dream, who I was watching.

"I don't care anymore," I said. "The boys care and the fans care, but I don't anymore.

"I mean, what's the point? If I don't even want to live, then why continue with life? There's no point…"

Then, I woke up. I thought about my dream. What it meant.

The nurse from yesterday walked in. She had a small smile as she said, "You could go home today."

Liam walked into the room and handed me my sweats. I changed into them, not caring that he and the nurse were watching me. Liam signed a release form and lead me out of the hospital and to his car.

The drive back to the complex was almost silent. Liam tried to make conversation by asking, "What did you think of that nurse?" and "Now that you've been through that, will you try again?"

I was silent. I just stared straight ahead and watched the road. Not blinking. Just lost in thought. I hummed Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne to myself. Liam knew not to bother me somehow.

I hummed the song's tune while singing the lyrics in my head. Then I switched songs to Lullaby by Nickelback.

"What song are you humming, Harry?" Liam asked.

I didn't answer. Liam then elbowed me in the rib and I suddenly felt like he'd do worse if I didn't answer him.

"It's called Lullaby. It's by Nickelback," I said.

"Sing it if you want to," Liam said, looking at me for a split second.

I didn't hesitate to start. I jumped right into the song.

"Well, I know the feeling

Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge

And there ain't no healing

From cutting yourself with the jagged edge

 

I'm telling you that, it's never that bad

Take it from someone who's been where you're at

Laid out on the floor

And you're not sure you can take this anymore

 

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

 

Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

'Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

 

Stop thinking about the easy way out

There's no need to go and blow the candle out

Because you're not done

You're far too young

And the best is yet to come

 

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

 

Well, everybody's hit the bottom

Everybody's been forgotten

When everybody's tired of being alone

 

Yeah, everybody's been abandoned

And left a little empty handed

So if you're out there barely hanging on...

 

Just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby"

 

"Is that really how you feel?" Liam asked.

"I don't know anymore," I whispered, grabbing my wrist.

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