Reality ruined my life

**Complete** They've been friends since they were tots. They've grown since they were younger, but there still the same kids at heart, that would do anything for their best friend. Falling in love is near impossible when its so hard to find people you can even trust with simple secrets when your famous.Trusting someone with your heart is a big deal.When every relationship you have, whether its platonic or more, is scrutinized and analysed by millions of people, can be very intimidating. Niall would do anything to protect Rachel and have her be happy even if that means he has to watch her date his band mate. Even if that means hiding his true feelings.

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15. Chapter 14 ღ breaking promises

Chapter Word Count: 2,110    Overall Word Count: 33,563

Hey everyone, sorry it took so long for an update but let me know in the comments what you think of the chapter!

~~Bee

  Rachel’s P.O.V.

It’s been a month and a few weeks. A month and a few weeks since my mother died of cancer, since she left me. It’s been a month since we left Spain for Italy. 3 weeks since we left Italy for Australia. 2 weeks and 3 days since we left Australia for New Zealand. 2 weeks since we left New Zealand for the island of Corse off of France. A week since we left Corse for the British Virgin Islands. We were slowly inching closer and closer back to London. We only had so much time before Niall had to go back to start preparing for his tour. We could only disobey management for so long. We practically broke all our promises we made. We hadn’t been in contact with the others like we said, we posted on twitter as to not worry the fans, and we answered a couple of the many, many calls from management but besides that, we didn’t talk to anyone. We stayed well hidden, flying to a new place once we had been spotted by a fan or a pap.

The worst was to come; we were both stepping on eggshells around the topic. No matter how much I wanted him to stay; I couldn’t keep him from his tour. I could cost him his job, and I couldn’t do that. We only had a few days before he would have to go back. Till we both had to go back.

Niall would go back to the boys and start preparing for their world tour. Back to craziness and hectic schedules. Interviews, shows, signings and appearances. Filling his days, with little to no time to spare. Making millions of girls fall in love with him on a daily basis, stealing their hearts with a blinding smile.

I would go back, and just disappoint. I’ve changed since the last performance I had, my last interview or appearance. I’m not the same as what the fans remember me as. It was like I had done a complete 360 of who I used to be. This bubbly, goofy, loud, talkative girl. An optimist, you could say. Everything was possible if you just tried. I took chances and went against my gut feeling. The rush of adrenaline on a rollercoaster was basically my life. I took everything hand in hand and always had a smile. Fast tracked up beat songs filled my albums. Bright outfits and beautiful stage dresses for performances. Now I was quieter, soft spoken, thoughtful. More of a realist. I wasn’t going to waste my time on things that would get me hurt in the end, if I knew it wasn’t going to end well. All my walls were up, I knew everything wasn’t as nice at it seemed now. I took everything with a grain of salt. I haven’t sung since my last performance. It didn’t feel right. All of those happy go lucky party and love songs, they weren’t me. They were what the public wanted me to be. I didn’t where too bright things anymore, or big dresses. It was more of a pair of jeans or leggings, with a band t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. I didn’t feel like trying, I shouldn’t have to impress people. If these people were a fan of me and my music, they should respect my choice and not worry. It shouldn’t matter what I wear, or how I look.

All I knew was that I was sure to disappoint some people.

****

I booked the tickets for our flight back to London, while Niall was taking a shower. Once I confirmed the seats, I called up management so they could make sure there were security guards to help us get to our cars in case of paparazzi. I spent a few minutes talking to our top security people, before it was handed back to another member of our management team.

“Do you know if Simon’s in town?” I asked gnawing on the inside of my lip. She made a quick reply of ‘yes’ as she rapidly typed away at the keyboard I was sure was in front of her.

“Could you make an appointment for me with him when I get back?” I chewed on my thumbnail as I waited for her answer, which came shortly after the tapping of her keys seized and the clicking of her mouse could be heard.

“He’s free on Thursday at two p.m.” She said.

“That’ll do, could you schedule in an appointment for me? All right thank you” I said waiting a moment for her reply then clicked the red end button on my phone screen.

I spent a while just sat motionless on the bed, my legs crossed and my hands lay lightly in my lap. I stared down at my hands for what seemed like hours, but was mere seconds. I looked up from my hands as I heard the loud spray of the shower seize and the sure sign of Niall moving about the spacious bathroom. I sighed and slid off the bed, my sock covered feet landing softly on the carpeted floor. I padded over to the corner of the room and grabbed Niall’s suitcase, he had purchased since we had been travelling so much, over to our bed. I placed it on top and unzipped it flipping the cover open. I then grabbed my own and set it down next to Niall’s. I wordlessly began pulling open random dresser drawers and emptying its contents into my suitcase. I continued doing so as I heard the bathroom door creek open, steam billowing out in little puffs. Niall observed me silently before joining in packing his own things.

It really was unavoidable, and we didn’t need to discuss it.  So we didn’t, we worked around each other. Gathering our things placed sporadically around the room.  It took us a good hour before we both zipped our last bags shut, everything tightly packed and squished to fit into our bags. All of the stuff that we had accumulated throughout our traveling filling our bags to the brim.

Niall stayed silent as I made a call down to the lobby for a cab to be sent to pick us up and bring us to the airport. We grabbed our bags and silently made our way to the elevator. Niall didn’t speak till we were in the lift travelling downwards to the lobby.

“so this is it?” he voiced quietly, approaching the topic that we had both been avoiding this whole time. I nodded my head in response looking towards the ground, only looking up when Niall’s hand met my own.

“There’s only 3 months till we get a sufficient amount of time off for us to spend time together without me being exhausted. You could even fly out and stay with us for a couple weeks while were travelling” he tried to reassure me. We both knew this would be hard, their tour was going to last for around a year, and it was a world to for Christ sakes.

Niall didn’t know what was running through my head. He thought I was doing better. He thought that a smile was permanently attached to my lips at the moment. He didn’t realize that I was ace at hiding my true feelings and how much I was dying inside. I could pretend to be happy for him, pretend that I was getting better. It would be easier once he would leave for tour. I’d hate to admit it, but it was the truth.

Niall continually made these reassuring promises the whole flight home. Planning all of these things so our relationship would last. Hell we hadn’t even gone public yet, and what was to come for publicity towards me, it wouldn’t look good on Niall to be public with me. I know management was mad at me, and they wouldn’t be any happier when they heard what I had to say. Dragging Niall into it wasn’t going to make it any better.

So I agreed to everything Niall brought up, not paying too much attention to it, too many thoughts racing through my head. I knew management was going to punish both of us, in one way or another. I found I was right because as soon as we stepped off the plane there were two sets of body guards waiting for us, Paul with Niall’s bags beside him and my bodyguard John with my own bags at his feet. Niall pulled me into a tight hug before they could separate us.

“I love you so much, okay. I know this is going to be hard for us, but we’ll get through it. I’ll always be just a phone call away.” He whispered into my ear before pulling back slightly, resting a hand on my cheek as his eyes searched my own. “You’re my world. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I-I.” he began before shaking his head and giving me a wobbly grin. “I’m in love with you, and I’ll do anything to keep us together” he admitted. A single tear rolled down my cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb. He leaned in and with a press of his lips to my own, he was gone. Being pulled away by Paul that didn’t look like he wanted to be doing what he was doing.

I waited a long moment, watching Niall’s reluctant retreating back, he looked over his shoulder countless times to look back at me. John ushered me over, and he silently walked beside me, a few bodyguards trailing behind us. I felt the fake brave smile finally slip from my face. I didn’t have to pretend for now. Trouble awaited us.

****

Niall was on a strict tour rehearsal schedule; in fact we weren’t even allowed to contact each other. That was our punishment. Management had been fuming when they had called us both into a meeting. They didn’t have too many kind words to say to us. They punished us by working Niall harder, giving him less spare time and cutting off our communications with each other. We couldn’t communicate with each other till the first leg of the tour was over. Which was 6 months away. 6 months of no communication.

I spent those two days that I had before my meeting with Simon, going over everything. I didn’t mention to anyone that I was back. I spent those two days alone; making sure what I wanted to do was definitely what I wanted. I was going to let so many people down, but it needed to be done. I wasn’t the same girl anymore. I needed to get my priorities straight at the moment.

The two days flew by quickly and it was the day of the meeting. I dragged myself out of bed, quickly pulling on a t-shirt of Niall’s, a pair of black leggings and my black vans. I climbed into the van that would take me to Simon’s office. I tapped my foot timidly as the car took me further and further into the center of London and closer to the Syco building. When we pulled up outside of the building I took a deep breath before unbuckling my seat belt and pushing the door open. I thanked the driver and slit out of the car, shutting the door behind me I made my way to the front of the building. I pushed the door open, catching the receptionist’s attention. She smiled a sickly sweet annoyed smile at me and said “Simon’s in his office, you can go right up.” I nodded my head and went up to his office; I took the stairs not being able to wait any longer for the lift. I took the stairs two at a time. I knocked on the door tentatively and Simon called for me to enter. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. Simon was sat at his desk looking down at papers spread across it. He looked up when he heard the door click shut.

“Have a seat Rachel” He smiled. I gave him a half smile back and sat down in the chair sat in front of his desk.

“So, what did you want to talk about” he said leaning back in his chair and crossing his hands and watching me waiting for an answer, with a raised eyebrow.

I timidly shifted in my seat before looking up and meeting his eye. “I think I need to take a break from my career, I don’t want to sing anymore.”

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