Reality ruined my life

**Complete** They've been friends since they were tots. They've grown since they were younger, but there still the same kids at heart, that would do anything for their best friend. Falling in love is near impossible when its so hard to find people you can even trust with simple secrets when your famous.Trusting someone with your heart is a big deal.When every relationship you have, whether its platonic or more, is scrutinized and analysed by millions of people, can be very intimidating. Niall would do anything to protect Rachel and have her be happy even if that means he has to watch her date his band mate. Even if that means hiding his true feelings.

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11. Chapter 10 ღ gone

Chapter Word Count: 2,077    Overall Word Count: 23,348

Rachel’s P.O.V.

Entering the hospital wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It was standing outside my mom’s door, trying to gather enough courage to open the door. I was so scared on what was on the other side of the door. It was the unknown that was scaring me. I was scared shitless. Everyone had gone down to the cafe, to give me some time with my mom, besides Niall and I. He reached over threading his fingers with mine giving them a tight squeeze. And that was the only reassurance I needed. My safety net. I knew everything was going to be okay if I had Niall at my side. I could do this. I could reach out and turn the knob that would open the door leading to my mother. So I did.

When I slowly pushed the door open I was met with the sight of my mother sat in a hospital bed. Many machines hooked up to her. She was a sickly pale and was so thin. She was so weak. She was so fragile looking, that she could break any second. You could see the pain in her eyes, but she tried to hide everything, to be strong for us. I don’t know how much longer she could fight it. The cancer was winning no matter how much we didn’t want to admit it. And I knew, then and there. That she wasn’t going to make it. No matter how much hope we had, she wasn’t going to make it. She knew too, I could tell from the look in her eyes. She was ready to go, but I wasn’t ready to let her go.

Tears were already freely falling from my eyes as I let go of Niall’s hand racing over to her bed. I pulled her into my arms. I sobbed brokenly into her shoulder as she ran her hand up and down my back trying to soothe me.

“It’s going to be okay, hunny. I promise.” She whispered into my ear.

“You can’t leave me. Not yet. I still need you.” I sobbed.

“No you don’t hunny, you’ve grown up to be this beautiful independent girl. You’re going to be fine sweetheart. You’re a strong girl. Just know I’ll always love you and that I’ll be looking out for you when I’m gone. You can do this, just stay strong for me”

“I’m not ready for you to be taken away from me yet, you can’t just give up so easily”

“I’m not hunny, I’m not. Let’s just make what time we have left worth it” She said and that was when everyone seemed to join us. All clasping warm cups of coffee or tea. I pulled away from my mom and went to sit in Niall’s lap since all of the seats were taken. I cuddled up to Niall, relying in the safety he gave me of being in his arms. I pulled my knees to my chest, my ear pressed right over Niall’s heart. The steady beat calming my racing heart.  His arms wrapped around me keeping me close. A few eyes were trained on us especially my mothers. I knew this wasn’t going to end well as soon as Greg opened his mouth.

“So I caught these two snogging on the porch yesterday” he said offhandedly. I gaped at him as all eyes turned towards us and a deep blush spread up my neck.

“Rachel?”

“hmm?” I mumbled looking at my mother who just addressed me.

“So are you and Niall dating now… or…?” I wish, I thought. Niall didn’t even miss a beat, quickly answering for both of us before I could shake my head no.

“Yes” My eyes instantly darted to Niall’s sparkling blue’s looking down at me, with a small smile on his lips. A shy smile made its way onto my face, and the deep blush spread to my cheeks. Niall gave me a little questioning look almost as if asking if that was okay. I was definitely okay with that. He smiled down at me, leaning down to gently peck my nose. A little giggle left my mouth. A cough from across the room made us tear our gazes away from each other. My mum, Maura, Bobby and my dad had giant grins on their lips and Greg was making obnoxious eye rolls but grinning none the less.

“Sorry.” I apologized causing everyone in the room to start laughing. My mom spent most of that day with a smile on her face, and that was all that mattered.

Niall’s P.O.V.

My parents, Greg and Rachel’s dad had gone home an hour ago. We were still sat with her mom, spending as much time with her as we could. She had been slipping in and out of sleep all day. I could tell Rachel was exhausted. Rachel’s mom was asleep one again and we were chatting quietly waiting for her to wake back up.

“Rache, babe, why don’t you go get a coffee from downstairs ok?” There were prominent dark bags under her eyes. She was barely staying awake.

“Ok… I-I’ll be right back, ok?” she said her eyes trained on her mom’s sleeping form. And before I knew it she had left and the room had fallen silent once again. The door clicking shut behind her.

This girl meant so much to me. I couldn’t even begin to describe it. She was a part of me, quite literally my better half. I don’t know what I would do without her in my life. I couldn’t think of any memories that didn’t have her in them. She was the most important thing in my life, she has been for the longest time.

My train of thought was the call of my name from the women that had brought Rachel into this world.

“Niall?” My head snapped out and my eyes met almost identical deep brown eyes as Rachel’s.

“Yeah?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“Anything” I replied instantly, my eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“I-I know my time to-to go is coming soon” Before I could open my mouth to protest that she still had so much time ahead of her and there was so much hope she raised her hand stopping me sadly shaking her head. “Niall, I know it is. I don’t have much more time, and I had great life. I just I need you to do me one thing.” She said I nodded my head once letting her continue. She reached over taking my hand in hers.

“Take care of Rachel for me. Love her unconditionally. Don’t give up on her. It’s going to be hard at first for her, but I need you to help her move on. I’ll need you to bring the life back into her eyes. I need you to be strong for her. Just don’t give up on her no matter what happens. She needs you and she loves you so much, Niall. You really are her rock.”

“I wouldn’t hurt her. I love her so much, she’s my world. I won’t give up on her. I-I don’t know what I’d do without her. I-I have to thank you for bringing her into my life. I wouldn’t have her if it wasn’t for you. I honestly can’t thank you enough for bringing her into my life.” I said with a sad smile on my face.

“Thank you” She gave my hand a squeeze before she let go and fell into another deep slumber.

***

Rachel spent most of the week at the hospital right be her mother’s side. Not leaving for even sleep. She didn’t eat much. Her mom was getting worse and worse every day. I finally had convinced her to come home with us tonight to get some rest, eat and shower. It took a lot of begging and kisses but I finally got her to come with us. She took one final glance at her mom before I pulled her out the door and to the car.

We were back at the house in no time, we had a quiet dinner and while she showered I cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes. She finished her shower right after I had finished changing for bed. We almost immediately fell into bed; I pulled her into my arms holding her closely. Keeping her safe. Before I knew it my eyes were fluttering shut along with hers and my breath was coming out at a slow even pace. Exhaustion catching up with the both of us.        

***

Rachel’s P.O.V.

It was New Year’s Eve and we were supposed to be in New York with the Boys, Cher, Perrie, Danielle and Eleanor. We were going to be performing after the ball dropped, but that just wasn’t going to happen now. I wasn’t going to leave my mom’s side.  I was going to spend every second I had with her by her side.

Mum’s health was declining and fast. The doctors said we were lucky if we had another day with her. We were going to make her last day count. She was going to make it to the New Year. She had to.

We spent the whole day doing our old new year’s traditions. We made our new year’s resolution lists, laughing at how we never followed them anyways. We always broke them within the first week. We watched old home movies, which consisted of birthday parties and mostly of Niall and I doing something absolutely ridiculous. It was a good day. We had all gathered in my mom’s room to ring in the New Year. At 11:59 and 50 seconds, we started the count down.

3rd Person P.O.V.

“10!... 9!... 8!... 7!... 5!... 4!... 3!...” They chanted. Bobby pulled Maura into his arms and planted his lips on hers causing her to giggle like a young teenager in love.

“2!...” Niall grabbed Rachel’s wrist spinning her around, tugging her into his arms. He immediately crashed his lips hers. As noise makers wrung out all around them, the cheers of their families celebrating the New year around them, they started and ended the new years with a kiss and whispered  ‘I love you’s against each other’s lips. The perfect way to start the New Year.

As they were ringing in the New Year they didn’t seem to notice Jane’s last small smile and whispered, “I love you all, take care of yourselves, I’ll miss you guys.” Her eyes shut for the last time, and she took her last breath.

They did notice though when her heart monitor flat lined and doctor’s rushed into the room. Rachel screaming for her mom. Nurse’s pushed the crying and confused group of people out of the room so they could try to do anything to save her.

Rachel was sobbing, trying to get back into the room. Niall held her back as she kicked and screamed trying to get to her mother. She wasn’t ready to lose her mom. Bobby held Maura as she sobbed brokenly into his shoulder. Greg and Rachel’s Dad sat next to each other on chairs next to the door. Greg had silent tears falling down his cheeks. Rachel’s dad had his head in his hands as his shoulders shook with his tears.

Niall pulled Rachel away from the door as she tried to pry herself out of his arms and into the room. He turned her in his arms; she repeatedly began hitting his chest with her fists screaming at him to let her go. That she needed to see her mom. She couldn’t go yet, she didn’t get to tell her how much she loved her or even goodbye. Niall only tightened his arms around her pulling her closer trying to build this invisible wall with his arms that could keep her safe from anything. He wanted to take the pain away from her. She slammed a fist into his chest one last time before holding his shirt in tight fists as she wailed into his chest. Niall had silent tears falling from his eyes as he back leaned against the wall. His back slid down against the wall, till he sat on the ground with a broken Rachel crying in his arms.

Rachel’s P.O.V.

She was gone. The cancer won, she gave up. My mom was dead. I wasn’t okay, but I had Niall to get me through it.

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