A living hell

“The world is full of cruelty. We’re full of hate and alienation from one and another. My life is a living hell~”

Ginny believes that she is not like the rest, her mind is full of demons trying to suffocate her on a daily basis. Every day is a struggle trying to survive high school and her broken home. Would she be able to survive or would she fall?


18. Chapter 15. At the hospital (Part 2)

I didn't sleep that much at the hospital, I happened to wake up 45 minutes later. How much I needed Sparkle with me. There are things I can only say to a friend that happen to be hard to say to a mother. A few minutes later Sparkle had appeared. "Ginny, are you awake? Sparkle came." my mom said. "Yes, mom. I'm awake. Can you let her in." I asked. "Of course." my mom said, in a low calm voice. I could tell she's not taking this well. I didn't mean to cause her more pain. 

"Hey, Ginny. Your mom called, told me you are at the hospital. I came fast as I could. When I got a call from your mom saying you are at the hospital, my heart fell. I was panicking. I thought something serious happened. I should have called right after you left. Something inside of me told me, there's going to be something serious happening and I was right. Ginny, I was so worried about you. You know that don't you? Mary Gin West, you are more than my best friend. I treat you as my blood related sister, I will always be here. I'm sorry Ginny. I feel like I was one of the causes you're here." Sparkle said.

"Sparkle, don't say that on the contrary. It's not you. Don't even think that. I just had to be heard, for a bit. You know?" I explained. "I know Ginny. It's just that I'm the oldest from both of us and your best friend. No.. I'm not your best friend. What I mean to say is just that your my sister. I feel like it's my responsibility to take care of you." Sparkle, said with tears in her eyes. "Look, can we just push this aside and start again. I don't want to keep hearing lectures for now." I said. "Sure Ginny, whatever you say." Sparkle said

Everything seem to hurt for now. I don't want to hear it again. So many innocent people I hurt over and over again from my same stupid mistakes. I can't seem to get it. Everything I do, seems to affect other people. When the f*ck will I understand. What is do I need to prove? "Sparkle I don't know what to do anymore. I can't seem to fight it. Everyday, every time, I fall. I can't seem to get up. I feel like I'm stranded alone, left in a banishment island. Nowhere to escape and nowhere to reach me. I'm lingering away." I explained, tearing up.

"Oh, Ginny." Sparkle said, hugging me. Trying to comfort me. "I really don't know what to say to you. I can't really answer those questions. Only you. I can't tell you why you are feeling that way, but I can say that it's okay to cry and let everything out. Look I pretty much sometimes feel the same as you. But do you know what I try to do to let it out?" Sparkle said. "How"? I asked, whimpering "By crying it out, hearing music, writing, and finding something way better than hurting myself." Sparkle explained "Ginny, you know I stopped harming about 8 months ago, almost a year. I'll be honest, there had been times when I  almost gave in. I almost took that blade close to my skin, but I stopped. It will not change anything. Those scars, cuts, wounds, whatever you want to call it will just leave broken promises I made and just memories of why I did it in the first place." Sparkle said.

I never saw things that way. "You know who helped me find my way out?" Sparkle said "Who?" I asked. "Black veil brides. Remember the message in that one song? 'When your life feels lost, Fight against all odds! Never give in, Never back down!'and that other one? 'So hear my voice, remind you not to bleed I am here, saviour. Will be there, When you are feeling alone, oh A Saviour. For all that you do. So you live freely without their harm' Sparkle sang, she always knows what right words to say. I felt a little better for now. "Thanks, Sparkle. For everything, I feel a little better." I said, feeling reassuring. "No problem kid." She said still hugging me.

A few minutes later my mom returned with the doctor. "Ginny it's time to go. The doctor said it's fine you go home right after the 3 of us talk." my mom said. "We are just going to have a quick that for a few minutes then you could leave with your mom and friend." the doctor said. "Okay mom. Can I just have a minute with Sparkle?" I asked the doctor and my mom. "Okay Ginny, will be outside waiting." they both said. "Good luck kid." Sparkle said. "Thank" I told Sparkle. "What ever you guys are going to talk about don't think about it that much. Remember 'Never give in' she said, walking out. 



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