If I Was President...

A speech for the 'President for the day' competition :)


1. -

Good morning everyone: America and the rest of the world. I do not wish to deprive you of your breakfast or, contrary wise, your sleep. Depending on the circumstances, of course. So I will move swiftly on.

Speaking of sleep, eight hours is essential for each and every one of you. Rest enables us to focus and keeps our bodies healthy, so I declare that every school and college will not ring its first bell before ten o'clock in the morning. Because after all, what is the point in our future generation going to an institution to learn when fatigue overwhelms their willpower to take advantage of their education? Too many intelligent individuals with so much potential cannot afford the staggering tuition fees that universities demand and many suffer from the debt that they are landed with once they graduate. Too many wealthy individuals who do not care much for their degree are filling up the places. From now on, students are exempt from paying tuition fees at universities if they meet the achievable grade requirements. I will fight to make this mandatory in every country in the world.

The tax payers matter more than convicted criminals so only cheap food will be offered. And no hot beverages, only water. Depending on the crime that the prisoner committed, they will wear a certain colour to display what they did. Those deemed as high risk, such as murderers and terrorists, will wear yellow pyjamas. Rapists, child molesters and those who indulged in domestic abuse; pink and those who aren't deemed as high risk are to wear grey. In the warmer months, the prisoners will wear pink flip flops and in cooler months, pink Wellington boots. Prisoners will be allowed to watch a communal television which only tunes into politics and cookery channels. They will be permitted one telephone call a week and every word will be monitored. If prisoners do not receive the luxuries that they currently have, such as being able to work for qualifications and access to game consoles, then prison will deter crime as criminals will not want to return. I fail to see how the crime rate will fall when those who commit crimes can live safely in a blissful haven.

Unfortunately, bullying is present in every school, college and work place. It begins as a small piece of harmless banter but escalates quickly. At first the victim of bullying feels a little insecure and embarrassed but can shake the comments off. When the insults become more consistent and more upsetting, the self esteem of the person on the receiving end tears apart. Bullying causes self depreciation. Some fall into the traps of anorexia and various other eating disorders whilst others turn to self harm. In extreme cases, people take their own lives. It shouldn't matter what sort of music you listen to; whether you play sports or not; what your racial ethnicity is. As long as you don't cause any harm, you should be accepted within society. Not shunned. If a case of bullying is reported, it must be dealt with. The bully must publicly apologise for what they did and if they repeat their actions, they will be sent to work as an assistant prison guard for a week. That should sort their perspectives out.

Far too many shops are generous with their sizing. I for one really struggle to find skinny jeans that are actually some-what tight on me. From now on, every brand of clothing will follow Topshop's measurements as to give everyone their accurate size. Clothes sizes will be standardised to ensure quick and efficient shopping. Customers will rest assured that they don't have to queue for the changing rooms or mess around with returning the items of clothing.

One final thing. Cookies – preferably the big gooey ones – will be eaten for breakfast. Go for the oat and raisin ones. They're the best.

Thank you for listening. I will let you catch up on your much needed sleep now and if it's breakfast hour where you are then rejoice! It's cookie hour.




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