But I'm A Bit Lovesick

Part I – Prologue
Sometimes your life boils down to just one huge mistake, the exact thing that happened to me actually. I was just having fun back then, whatever fun was, poking guys around, trying to manipulate them. Whatever.
I mean, I’m pretty and I’m smart. I’m basically one of the most popular girls in school. I don’t study hard enough but I have these sky-high grades even if I know I don’t deserve them.
So here’s the thing, I was caught red-handed inside the school with some liquor or some sort I know nothing of. Knowing such cliques in school, its probably Brenda, I know she did it. They even spread some highly exaggerated rumour about me, about the books I write and how it contrasts with the school’s morals, whatever those were.
I mean, such an infamous school, the teachers were perfect don’t get me wrong but the guidance counsellor is stupid, (sorry for the term, but its true) and she believes in Brenda (probably paid to) so they had me sanctioned. A week’s worth of detention


2. The way his brown eyes shine



You said the way my blue eyes shine, put those Georgia stars to shame that night I said that’s a lie. I hummed Taylor Swift’s song Tim McGraw as I sweep the floor of my bedroom –which used to be mom’s bedroom, and grandma’s teenage bedroom – cleaning off the dust and other filthy things my grandma probably didn’t see.

 Okay, so it was sure as hot as a scorching desert in here. Probably I’m so exaggerating still, I turned the fan on 4, yet here I am sweating like mad. I don’t wanna turn on the AC since that would probably cost more than its worth, obviously because the AC’s older than me or so.

So, another day, another 16 hours spent writing. I mean, I’m just this closet writer, I’m not unconfident, I just don’t want other people  reading my works since I think they’re not that good enough yet.

But one day, I would totally be a writer. I’d be that rich and famous writer like J.K Rowling and Suzanne Collins, be the lady behind the tragic love stories, much like my idol, Edgar Allan Poe.

After sweeping the floor, I yearned for my bed and slept comfortably again. -only for two hours because grandma started screaming my name at 10 am, saying yadda-yadda-yadda. I growled as I put my decent clothes on, I sleep on my undies, just because – well, its freaking hot in here, the air in the night is just as hot. But I am so not complaining because I totally dig this place.


“Yeah. I’m coming!”

So, I went downstairs. And there the Japanese gay dude stood before us with a picnic basket, probably to bribe my grandma to teach him her homemade cookies recipe. Cause they were absolutely to die for.

“remember you childhood best friend?” grandma asked, gesturing a hand to the stupid Japanese gay dude.

I mean, he was half Japanese, he grew up here and well, we practically learned everything together. He was one year older than I am though, but yeah he was far shorter than me like 6 years ago… Now he was  of a giraffe.

“yeah, so Ana, my mom told me to bring you home, w-with me.” He blushed, I couldn’t hide a loud giggle. “I mean, j-just. Just saying, she misses you, and you know, maybe these cupcakes could bribe you to come, y-you know, there?”

I laughed out loud, “so when did the famous Yano Sanders stammer, huh?”

I just noticed then that grandma had walked out, and this teased me, honestly? I don’t need to be alone with this guy, just saying. And I probably had a crush on him and blah-blah but still…

To hide my unexpected blush, I jerked the picnic basket from his hands, and they were filled with the mouth watering aroma of Julia’s home made cupcakes. My favourite kind too! The ordinary chocolate chipped ones with no frosting, there’s probably jam inside too. Daaaamn, I’m getting hungry!

 I quickly stuffed a mouthful in my mouth. I looked like a klutz of course, some chocolate jam circling my mouth or whatever, and I should probably ashamed of myself since there’s this cute although stupid gay half Japanese guy around. But whatever.

He can be the cutest guy in the planet for all I care, I’m still going to choose these cupcakes over him.

“So yeah, I-I’ll go back here like, p.m.? My mom’s expecting you and she’s baking-“

“MORE CUPCAKES?!” I asked, excited. Barely inaudible too, with my chewing and swallowing at the same time, but like what I said earlier huh, WHATEVER. Mwahahahahaha

 “Y-yeah.” He stuttered again, I was beginning to get a little fond of his stammering, it looked so darn cute, “can y-you just please pull your shirt up?”

I looked at my shirt. ERMEHGERD

Then I let a horrible deafening shriek. He covered his ears.


Odd thing, I went downstairs, talked to a cute gay half Japanese guy, stuffed a lot of cupcakes in my mouth and acted so darn retarded, without even being completely embarrassed? Why I shrieked? Well, I was bending over without my bra, and its really embarrassing. Mistake made, lesson learned. It's going to be ah-oh-kay. After all, he was my childhood bestfriend and we're sort of like brothers..


Flashback two minutes ago, I shrieked and he swore he did not see a thing, and I just looked at him, then he just looked at me too, then stuttered again, “I’ll – I’ll come over to m-make you come over. Like 1:30? Get that? Y-yeah. Bye”

 After that horrible incident. I slept again, for two hours.

Cause I got really tired stuffing those cupcakes inside my stomach.

So the 1 pm came and, I made sure to put my bra tight and secure. Lesson learned. Anyway, Japanese guy just stood there outside and I for one thought he would again bring me a basketful of those cupcakes, bummer.

My closet here consists most of dresses, summer dresses with those flower prints, and some headbands with those flower ribbons on them. I mean, I know I seem fierce and headstrong but I like wearing dresses, they make me feel free.

 “Yo, dude” I said to him, motioning my hand in a high-five gesture and he clapped my hand against his, smirking at me with those brown Asian eyes.

I must’ve forgotten, but his brown eyes, which in the sunlight, seems tanned, is the most overwhelming eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. They were warm, soft, and they seem to promise everything, they tell his soul.

Like those days, when he stood me up. I mean, we planned to meet by the river to swim because my classmate, Ericka, accused me on cheating, and I was crying and he know that I am a total water baby, so he told me to come swim and I should just wait for him while he grabs food and fruits, and I just waited there for half an hour until I got tired. I went home crying then.

Turns out he was way on the other side of the river, and I ignored him at school the following day. He asked me why I stood him up and I screamed at him that I so didn’t, then he told me he was waiting at the other side of the beach and I told him he was just so stupid.

Then he looked at me, and his pupils widened. His small eyes grew big so I fell silent.

It seems as if he was making me feel what he was feeling, he said sorry and I felt the sincerity in it, so I forgave him and I told him, he has eyes like the stars. He didn’t understand of course, still, I was like 8 years old back then, I must’ve forgotten over the years we’ve spent apart, but now I remember it all clearly.

We walked in silence, me carrying the half empty basket of pastries his mother made for me, of course I brought it so I could have a refill, cause I haven’t given grandpa any yet, and he totally digs the cupcakes too. Me and grandpa have sweet teeth.

 “So..” he said, quite awkwardly, as if desperate to make a decent conversation.

“So?” I answered.

 “How’s school”

 “Not that okay”

 “Not that okay, huh?” he seemed entertained then, I was teased a bit.

 “Well, how’s school then, for you?” I asked, just to maintain the awkward conversation

 “Not okay either”

We laughed then, funny how it seems just so long ago, we weren’t this awkward. In fact, we were inseparable, we just grew up and now we are different people. Things change, people change but life goes on.

Is he still that Yano Sanders though? The one who’d tease me til I grow pink, the one who’d tell me stories about stars and just, stare at me like there’s no tomorrow, telling me I’m ugly with that ugly smirk on his child face, the one who’d race me to tell me he’d beat me up but the truth is, he really won’t he just likes the authority of his age, which is just one mere year more than mine.

“How are things going here?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Nothing much”

“Do you like a girl or something… ?” obviously to tease him.

“Yeah. I kinda did.” He looked at me then, with eyes so sullen, yet they still seemed brighter than the stars cause they just, they sparkle and like everything else falls with it…

Still I find myself breathless, caught in his eyes.

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