Forever and Always

This is a story about a girl, who hasn't always had the best life....but she meets 5 boys, that pick up the pieces of her broken heart and fix it :)

Warning: May contain swearing and other things...

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19. Chapter 18

"Liam... It's complicated-" I started.

"Why don't you start by telling me why you were so scared before?" Liam said.

"I can't do that without revealing everything" I said, a small frown forming on my lips.

"Well...  start at the beginning" He said.

"I can't-"

"You can" He said cutting me off.

I bit my lip. Could I? Could I really trust him? I thought. A sigh escaped my lips.

"When I was little... I saw my brother get murdered" I heard a small gasp from Liam. "I don't remember it very well... I remember the guy coming, he... he had a gun.  He pointed it at me, but my brother jumped in front of me pushing me into my mum's arms, so the guy decided to shoot him instead. I remember my mum's scream.... It was just so... Scary! I started crying when I saw my brother just laying there. My mum grabbed me and fled."

My eyes were starting to prick with tears.

"My mum... she went crazy. Dad called up some people and she was taken away to a mental asylum. Have you ever been to one?" I asked, looking up at him.

He shook his head.

"Well.... It's very secure, making it so no-one could escape, and so it was very hard to get in alone. The walls.... they're stark white. That's why I freaked out when I walked in here. The walls are so similar." I shivered. "I went to see my mum a lot, she was always nice and caring. But she scared me a bit. She was always muttering about how the guy was going to come get her or something, how we weren't safe. But one day, we went there and she wasn't very nice to me. We went and visited her like we always did, but she was.... different. When we asked what was wrong she said nothing, like she always did. But then my dad had this brilliant idea of bringing up Tommy. My mum went ballistic. She said it was all my fault that he died, that he was the most beautiful older brother I could have had and it was all my fault he was gone."

Sobs took over my body.

"It's not your fault Kai" Liam said soothingly.

"She said.... she said I deserved to die for it." I said quietly. "She lunged at me, her hand closing around my throat. Dad had to grab her and pull her away, while he was screaming for help. Security came in and restrained her, while we left. I remember my last words to her. I.... I told her I loved her. The look she gave me back was like a look of pure hatred. I didn't know what to do after that. I went off the rails for a bit. That's when I met Peter."

A small sound came from Liam's throat.

"I know, I know, You don't like him. But he wasn't always like he is now. He was once a sweet and caring guy. He used to make sure I was being looked after, that I had the best I possibly could. But after a while, he started pressuring me. He wanted sex, but I couldn't give it to him...."

"Why not?" Liam asked cautiously "If you don't mind"

"I... I was raped....." Tears were falling down my cheeks now, at a steady pace. "I went to a party one night and I was drugged. I was raped. The only person I ever told was my my best friend. Or should I say... my old best friend, but I'll get to that later. He was so supportive."

I reached for a tissue and blew my nose.

"I had my friend Natalie over for a couple days. I started getting sick. Every morning I'd wake up vomiting. I found some foods I liked, made me sick. Every morning, she'd come into the bathroom and hold me hair out of my face. I could tell she was worried, but she never asked why. But one morning she did. I told her what happened, and she made me go to the doctors. I had some tests done, and I got the results back a couple days later. I.... I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I told her... and I told my best friend. They supported me. But one day, my dad found out. He didn't believe it at first, but then he saw the test results. I was 14, with a baby. My dad forced me to have an abortion. My best friend was the only one I told about that. My other friend thought I had a miscarriage. But no.... I killed the baby. I am such a heartless bitch!"

"Kairi, don't say that! It wasn't your fault!" I could hear Liam shouting in my face.

"That's why I couldn't give him sex. He didn't know what had happened though. I probably should have told him, but I didn't want him to leave. I loved him. But I didn't tell him, so he kept asking. Every time I said no he would get more and more frustrated. Then one day, he hit me. Every time I said no, it got worse. He kept telling me about how he only asked for one thing, but I couldn't give it to him, how he'd done so much for me and I couldn't do him one little favor. After a while he got more violent. He'd hit me a lot. At first I thought it was normal, but then I'd walk around and see all the happy couples around me. They didn't have bruises, the were happy. I finally realized that it was wrong. So I left him, and you saw how well that turned out......"

I reached for another tissue.

"And then today,I log onto Facebook, only to get hate from everyone. Even my old best friend. Rumours are going around that I'm trying to date Zayn and Louis, making them cheat on Eleanor and Perrie."

A small sound of protest came from Liam's mouth.

"Well, my best friend found out about it, and he believes it. So now I'm a slut in his eyes. I called him and tried to explain, but all I got in return was a lovely post on my Facebook wall telling everyone my darkest secret."

I showed him the post. Liam shook his head in frustration.

"All throughout this... I've.... I've been hurting myself." I showed him my wrist. The pale skin was covered in white scars, with a couple of new ones protruding the skin. "I cut to make the pain go away. I works... for a little bit at least. I.... I have no self confidence at all anymore"

I looked down at the floor. Liam put a finger under my chin and lifted my head so I was looking at him.

"Well Kai... no matter what other people say, at least you know the truth. That's what matters. Who cares what other people think? as long as you're happy. Don't dwell in those bad moments, make some good ones. You're so beautiful, you just have to realize it"

"Liam..."

"No. Don't say anything. The people around you can see it, but you don't. You need to let go of the past and move on, it's not like you can change it anyway...."

"You make it sound so easy!" I protested.

"It won't be. But it is possible. You just have to try. You have all this self doubt within you, that you don't see the beautiful, loving, caring person within you."

"Liam-"

I was cut off by him lips crashing onto mine. I froze. His lips were soft, sweet and gentle but at the same time there was a hardness there. I slowly relaxed and fell into the kiss. A voice in the back of my head was telling me that this was wrong, but I told it to shut up. I smiled within the kiss and pulled his arms around my waist, while I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me close to him. Our body's pressed together as the kiss intensified. My thought's were swarmed by the image of Liam.

Liam Payne. He's just so beautiful. He's so caring. I don't understand how anyone would ever want to hurt him. He always did the best for everyone around him. He truly was Daddy Direction. Payne. It makes sense though. He's been through so much pain in his life, but he is just so perfect! Liam- Payne. Where had I heard that name before? Payne.

I froze again when I realized the source.

I broke the kiss and backed up.

"What? What's wrong?" Liam asked.

"Payne"

"Yeah... That's my name...."

"Theresa Payne" I said, fear in my voice.

"What? Who is that?" he asked confused.

"My Grandma." I replied.

The confused look remained on his face. My voice shook as the next few words came out of my mouth.

"Liam.... you're.... you're my cousin."

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