I'm In Love With You

Samantha has had a rough life. From being abused by her parents, to living on her own at 17. When she gets a recording contract from a big agency, she beings a new lifestyle. She meets many new famous people and has many short "relationships" with them. When she meets One Direction, she thinks will be just like every other relationship she's ever had. She expects them to use her and have nothing more than a one night stand. Falling in love is not an option.

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7. Sam

Just when I was thinking that it would be okay if Harry and I hooked up, he pulled away. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then started walking to the door.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I asked just as he reached the door.

"I have to go get the boys remember?" He said with a laugh.

"You don't wanna....hookup with me?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Why would you think that?" He had a surprised and confused look on his face too.

"Well that's what every guy that comes over to my house does. That's what I thought you were planning to do when you said you could take me home." I explained. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, but I held them in.

"Sam, I wouldn't do that. I'm not that kind of guy no matter what the stupid magazines say."

"You're the first guy that I've meet since I've lived here that hasn't tried to use me. Thank you."

"You shouldn't be thanking me, it's what any self respecting guy would, or should, do. You shouldn't give into the guys that do that Sam. It's really not good for you."

"I know, but they just say the right things and I'm like putty in their hands. I'll do anything they want, and they know what and they use that. Haven't you heard any of the rumors about me? Everyone thinks I'm a slut. I guess I am now..."

"You are not a slut, Sam. And I haven't heard any rumors about you and I'm pretty sure they would be big news considering how popular you've become so quickly." I knew he was trying to make me feel better and to change the subject, but it wasn't going to work.

"I am too a slut. All the rumors from high school are true now. They were all right."

"What are you talking about love?"

"When I was actually in high school in California, my boyfriend told everyone that I had slept with him and then people started saying that I was a slut. It went on all year until I left. I'm sure it's still going on. People were so mean. I only had one friend and now even he's gone."

He pulled me over to the couch and we sat down. "What do you mean he's gone? Do you never talk to each other anymore?"

"Yeah, but it's not cause I moved. He...he killed himself right as I moved here. Like I literally got the news as soon as I got off my plane. Now I have no one anymore. I'm all alone. That's why I hookup with so many guys. I keep thinking 'this one will be different, this one'll stay. He'll be the one.' but they never are. They all just fuck me and they're gone the next morning."

"Sam, love, I'm here for you. I'm your friend. I know we only met a few hours ago but you can trust me with anything and I swear I won't judge you. I really like you Sam, and I want to help you."

"I don't think we have time tonight to talk about everything. You have to go get the boys still, don't you?" I wiped the few tears that had fallen off my cheeks. I still didn't like talking or thinking about Sam. But it just kind of came out. It actually felt kinda good telling someone. I still couldn't bring myself to read Sam's suicide note, though. I knew it would be a while before I could read that.

"I'll call Paul, our security guard. He can pick them up. I'm sure he'll understand." He stood up and pulled his phone out and walked into the kitchen. I looked out the window next to the couch and watched the few people in central park. It was late. I absently ran a hand over the scars on my left arm. Some cuts were still unhealed, and some scars were still rough while some were smooth and cool.

"What's that on your arm?" Harry had walked back and I hadn't heard him. I quickly pulled my sleeve back down.

"What are you talking about?" He could tell that I was hiding something. Before I could protest, he grabbed my arm and pulled my sleeve up. Tears formed in my eyes again and I looked out the window again. Once he saw the cuts and realized what they were he would probably leave.

"...are these what I think they are?" he asked in a really quiet voice.

"That depends. What do you think they are?" I asked in the same voice.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" I looked at him and he had tears in his eyes. I had barely known this guy 3 hours and he was crying becuase I had cut myself? Why should he? He dosen't know me. Why should he care about someone as broken and useless as me?"

"Because I really really don't like anything about myself. But I'm too scared to go all the way."

"What do you mean all the way?" I could tell he knew, but I told him anyways.

"I'm too scared to actually kill myself."

"Why would you ever even think about that? You're an amazing person. You shouldn't think about that kind of thing. You're probably thinking, he doesn't know me, I've barely even met this guys. But Sam you're not like other girls. You're so amazing, you're not afraid to be yourself. You're scared to talk to me about this but you're strong enough to. You're gorgeous inside and out.  You put up with horrible rumors in high school and now. I'm sure you've made a few bad choices but, hell who hasn't. Sam you're too young and too special to want to end your own life. I don't know what I'd do if you actually did it. I would be a wreck because I know that I can help you. I'll be the person that you really want who will just listen to you and not judge you. Please talk to me Sam. I really want to listen and help you."

I burst out in tears, he looked really surprised but I grabbed him and gave him the tightest hug I could.

We spent the rest of the night talking about everything from my parents to school life to Sam to moving here to getting my contract. I felt so much better having finally talked to someone about all this. We talked about what had upset him through out his life. Like his parents divorcing and x factor and all the hate he got now.

He fell asleep with his head in my lap at around 4 in the morning. I stayed up a little later just thinking and playing with his curls. He was one of the sweetest guys I had ever met and I didn't want to loose him, ever. He was the only person alive now that knew everything about me.

I couldn't sleep. I tried but my mind was too busy. Mostly with thoughts of Sam. I slowly got up, trying not to wake Harry, and walked into my room. In my nightstand was Sam's letter. I knew that I would be able to finish it this time.

My name was written on the front in his sloppy handwriting. I opened it up and I felt tears in my eyes again.

"My Dear Samantha,

First of all you should know that this was completely not your fault. If anything, you're the reason that I hadn't done it yet. You're the only reason that I wanted to stay alive and when we got into that stupid fight, I thought I lost you for good. Then when you said you were moving to New York City, I knew I had lost you. I had lost my reason for living. Samantha I don't know if you ever realized this but I was, and am, in love with you. You're an amazing person Samantha. You're so smart and you're so strong. Even when you're parents were the most abusive, you would still smile your amazing smile. I love your smile. It makes my whole day better, especially when I'm the reason for your smile. I did this because I couldn't take the pressure of my parents. You know they're divorcing soon. Bethany had screwed me over big time. I didn't have any friends left because I was friend with you, which I don't reget a bit. I was alone in the world. But again, this was completely NOT YOUR FAULT so please don't blame yourself. I love you with all my heart and I always will. Please don't do the same thing as I did because it's the easy way out and you're a strong person. I know that whatever you're going through you can make it because you're such a strong person. I hope you make it as a big star, I'll be watching from wherever we go when we die. I LOVE YOU! always and forever.

With so much love,

Sam."

 

 

 

 

 

(A/N) this has been my favorite chapter so far. i just love it so much its so sweet. i cried while writing it. i wont be able to post this weekend so i hope this will hold you over until monday. I love you all!!! thank you so much for reading!!!!!!! keep liking commenting and favoriting!!!!!!

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