His Last Rose

her heart hurt. he didn't understand his feelings. she decided to end it all. he wouldn't let her. she fell in love, with the wrong boy. but when the other man appears in her life, can maysilee find the one she truly loves?

he loves me, he loves me too.

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8. Goodbye, for good?

It has been a month.

I'm not very good at tracking time, but I'm sure of it.

He hasn't come in a long time.

I have spent my days sleeping, listening to the birds outside my window. Hoping for him to return, but he does not.

I smell a sort of flower near my bed. Perhaps the roses he spoke of last time he was here. They are dying. It has been too long.

No one comes to visit me. I don't know where my mother is. Or my sisters. I only sometimes hear the nurses, but I think they're just about out of faith too. I'm ready to give up. But isn't this what I wanted to begin with? To die?

No.

This is not death, this is not torture. It is isolation. To know that the world is a layer of darkness away, my old life simply paused and ready to begin again is no consolation, nor is it really a torment. It is my reality. And I'm ready for it to stop.

I hear footsteps. Slow, reluctant. Sneakers. A nurse.

"Did you hear the doctor talking this morning?"

"I came in late." Another nurse answered.

"He suggested taking the girl off life support. That sidewalk did something nasty to her head. Doctor Wills says it's not worth putting all this effort into her, she won't live. It's been too long now. We gotta give up."

The other nurse sighted. "Shame too. She was a pretty girl."

The footsteps slowly became quieter until I heard nothing.

I was screaming inside. They couldn't take me off life support. I was here, I could hear everything! Surely that was progress! I would recover. I wanted this endless limbo to end, but not with my death. Not this death at least.

I knew a girl at my school once, named Sierra, that was in a car crash. Put her in an awful coma. Lasted for about a year. They took her off life support. Soon after she was deemed dead.

Thinking back on it, I wondered now if she was that conscious state, not able to speak or move, cursed with only the ability to understand and hear everything. Was she scared? Did she know that her life would be ended by doctors? Did she suffer through as much as I had? I supposed I could ask her these questions when I join her. When I'm taken off life support.

When I die.

"Don't leave me, May."

His last words to me rang in my ears.

"Don't leave me."

"I'm trying to hold on." My mind whispered back to him. "But I don't know if I can do this anymore."

"I love you." His voice told me.

"Goodbye." Was all mine could reply.

Then my mind wandered deeper into it's dark realm, and I was gone.

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