Sound Of Madness(COMPLETE)

(NOW FINISHED) Siobhan Kline has just started junior year. She doesnt expect much from it, she doesnt think anything special will happen. Nothing special happens to her. She has two close friends, a 1976 mustang, her author mother Loretta and her pet hamster LuLu. This is her life. Until she is partnered with the new boy Zayn Malik. He just moved to town and all the girls seemed to take an interest in him.
All the boys want to be his friend.
But he couldnt care less

Zayn Malik fanfiction ----Not Famous


24. For My Sake


“Your father and I are going to look at some furniture” my mother tells me as I try to get some summer reading done for school. She has been extra delicate with me ever since I told my parents about the breakup over breakfast. My mother stayed quiet, and took in my every word, while my father tried to make me feel better with the typical speech. “Siobhan, its his loss. He doesn’t deserve you” , in actuality, I felt like it was the other way around. It was my loss and I am the undeserving one. How sad is that? “Siobhan?” I look up at my mother and her face is a veil of confusion. “Honey, I am no good at the broken heart talk. Truth be told my perspective on it was, why get sad, there are other fish in the sea. And it is a vast, massive sea. But you’re nothing like me” she treads the subject lightly. I close the book and blink at her. Once. Twice and by the third time, she gets it. I just don’t want to talk about it. “We’ll get dinner on the way” my dad says coming into view. He is pulling his hair into a ponytail. “How’s Chinese sound?” he adds.

“Good” I give them a fake smile, a smile that says no I’m totally ok, my heart isn’t broken. Even though it is broken, and no I am not ok. They bid their goodbyes and go, leaving me in the house to catch up on school work.

It is six P.M. on the dot when there is a knock at my door, and it is Zayn. I sit with him on the porch swing, he doesn’t waste a moment. He tells me about Olive and Damien getting high. And I beg for him to spare me details. For the past month or so, I have had my suspicions but I also didn’t want to believe it. He then tells me about the visit to Paco, and how he told him he would look after him. Finally, I cant take the chatter any longer. “Did you come here for to blab on and on?”

His eyes pierce mine, and I feel week within every cell of my being. He leans back some, and despite how hurt I am, I cannot help but admire him. He is beautiful. I force myself to look away. Was he really going to act like he didn’t break up with me? Was he going to pretend that him and I were ok? The silence between us tells me yes. His eyes are fixated on the front lawn, but I can tell he isn’t really looking there. “Zayn?” he looks at me now. “Why did you come”

“Because Siobhan” he looks at me as if he is afraid to hurt my feelings, and it just makes me feel worse.

“Because what, give it to me straight” I want him to be honest with me, no matter how brutal, hurtful or heartbreaking it is. I waited seven months for him, the least he could do was be honest, right?

“There is no time for us in all the madness happening in my life”, he lets out a breath. “Its not fair to you or the relationship. We were apart for so long, and” I can tell there is more to what he is saying. Urging him on, he wears the face of a child who was caught stealing sweets from the pantry. “I never slept around Siobhan, but I did kiss someone”

“On the mouth?” my tone matches the defeat I feel inside. The fact that he kissed someone shouldn’t hurt me the way it does, should it? I mean, at least he didn’t sleep around, but he kissed someone.

“It didn’t mean anything” he retaliates quickly, before I loose myself in my thoughts.

“A kiss…” I cant shake the defeat in my tone, it is as obvious as the grass is green. “A kiss always means something, even if it is on the cheek”

“Siobhan it was nothing, you would’ve known had you been there” he is flustered, but still so damn beautiful. “It meant nothing to me”

“Well, as you sorely pointed out I wasn’t there” I can feel a lump the size of a baseball form in my throat. “But it doesn’t matter” I am trying to be strong. “We aren’t together, remember”

He winces at my words. “Now who’s sorely pointing things out. Whatever Siobhan, you’re so hot n cold all the time…its tiring”, he gets off the porch swing and leans against the railing, his arms are folded across his chest. “I have an idea. How about being honest with yourself darling and open up. Admit for once what it going on in that head and that heart of yours. It may feel good” he says this because he notices the tears that have fallen from my eyes. “How do you feel about this huh?” he means the breakup.

“I hate it” I confess. “But you’re right. We are away from each other-” he cuts me off.

“No” Zayn is shaking his head. “I don’t, stop saying what you think I want to hear…I don’t have a point, know why? Because if two people love each other, no number of miles can keep them apart. They’d find ways, they’d conquer whatever challenges are thrown at them.”

I cant help the tears now, because he is saying one thing but it implies something else. Had it been that he never loved me at all, and what I had with him was just….a joke? I cant bare the idea, he told me he loved me, but he broke up with me and now he is saying this. “Ladies and Gentlemen, she is human after all” he remarks. It is the first time he has ever seen me cry.

I wipe the edges of my eyes. “You don’t have to be mean about it”. I wish I could turn off the waterworks, but I cant. I am not just crying for now, but for all the moments when I should have. Most of all, I cry, unashamed of the tears I shed. They feel…good, and when I look at him, he looks shamed…good. “You know Zayn, every night I tossed and turned with thoughts of you. If you only knew that where ever you were, that was where my heart wanted to be.” as I say this, his eyes are sad, and they glisten. “Zayn, if you only knew how I spent the last seven months of my life” At this point, I don’t care if he leaves or cries, I have suffered enough haven’t I? Love wasn’t supposed to be this complicated. Yet, he stays silent. “I was holding onto a thread these last seven months, I don’t want to let go, but I know I must”

“So that’s it? Just like that you let go” his voice is soft, and his words are double edges swords. Why is he turning the tables on me….

“There’s nothing left fort us Zayn” I stand and head for the door, but his hand finds mine and he turns me to him. I look down at our joined fingers and pull mine away.

“Siobhan…” he wants to tell me more, I can feel it. But he doesn’t, he puts his hands in his pockets and stops the words from coming out of his mouth. “Don’t let this be goodbye for good” he finally says. But what he fails to realize is that this is goodbye, I just don’t know if it is for good. It is goodbye for now.
“For my sake…” I tell him, opening the front door. “I’m never looking back” I turn to him, drinking in his sight once more. He is breath taking, and it takes all my willpower to cut my ties to him.
“Siobhan I’m sorry”

I try to keep it together, but it is impossible, I just close the door and go upstairs. From my bedroom window, I see the Audi R8 drive away. He is gone.





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