Sound Of Madness(COMPLETE)

(NOW FINISHED) Siobhan Kline has just started junior year. She doesnt expect much from it, she doesnt think anything special will happen. Nothing special happens to her. She has two close friends, a 1976 mustang, her author mother Loretta and her pet hamster LuLu. This is her life. Until she is partnered with the new boy Zayn Malik. He just moved to town and all the girls seemed to take an interest in him.
All the boys want to be his friend.
But he couldnt care less

Zayn Malik fanfiction ----Not Famous

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17. Complicated

Zayn

“We should go see our families” Harry chimes once Siobhan is in our dressing room. He shoots some of the dancers we were hanging with a look and they stand and follow him out. Seconds later, it is just the two of us. And I want nothing more than to hide, hide because she had traveled all this way for me and I have been spending my nights in the company of fellow contestants…guilty because I just left them in America. “You were amazing” she tells me making her way past the mess and to me. I stand up straight, and kiss her as tenderly as I could. Cradling her face, it felt both alien and correct. Her lips are hesitant against mine, much like our first kiss. When we part, she places her hands over mine and smirks some.
“You came all this way” I am flattered, but still want to hide. I’d be lying if I said I was a saint during my time on X Factor thus far. There is a contestant, and her name is Rebecca, and last night Rebecca and I went to dinner together.

Dinner with Rebecca was to be innocent, she understood the craziness the show had bought on. I used to be able to go places in peace and now its like nothing is ever certain. My privacy is minimal, and I get chased down by girls who want a hug, picture or my autograph. Rebecca understands because her life has changed also, and we kind of started a friendship on the fact that we share an understanding. We went to a private dinner at a nice Italian place. We talked about the show, our newfound careers and our dreams. Dreams that used to seem so out of reach and were now so close we could taste it.

“My mother had the idea” she says kissing my palm and removing it from her face. Her touch is feather light and it makes me feel like every inch of my skin is static. “I’m happy she did, I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you on that stage. You’re magical up there” she smiles and wraps her arms around my middle.

Two months ago, I would have loved this.

One month ago, I would have craved this.

Now, I am haunted with it. And I have it, but last night eats away at me like a disease.

My arms wrap around her, bringing her body close to my own, and it becomes familiar again. Not alien, not foreign, not cold. This apprehension I had, feels stemmed from the fact that I am so far from her. Distance hasn’t made me forget her, and I am certain I don’t love her any less but I am aware that this isn’t how it should be. Siobhan deserves someone who will be there for her, day in and day out, like a boyfriend should be. She deserves so much more than I can offer right now, and it haunts me. It is a reoccurring thought that I cant seem to escape. And then last night…I kissed Rebecca. For one second, I thought…I don’t know what I thought, but I was in the wrong. And now, as irony would have it, Siobhan stands in my arms.

When she looks at me, I remember the night in the attic, I remember the feeling of her skin hot and sweaty against my own. I remember the feeling of her fingertips trailing down my stomach, how her lips felt as our tongues mingled. I miss the feeling of being on her bed, staring at the ceiling, my head on her chest as she strokes my hair. “Zayn, I’m sorry if I haven’t been as supportive as I should have” I hush her with a kiss. Her eyes are still closed when she says “I just miss you so much” and they blink open. I feel as if I am walking a fragile line with her, there is something in her eyes that makes me hold my breath. “It’s hard going to school and not seeing you pull up beside my car, even in Bio class…”

I don’t tell her that I speak to Damien daily, or that he tells me things about her that she probably wouldn’t want me knowing. Like how she broke down in the lunchroom one day after Jenko had made a comment. It wasn’t something too bad, but it made her feel as if she had pushed me away and that I would not come back to America. She had not pushed me away, but I had failed her in not returning. “I’m sorry” I tell her. This time, she kisses me, to assure me that she is ok and we are ok. But I was apologizing for everything, not just the distance between us. I am apologizing for everything and then the kiss last night. Something I would rather die a million times before having her know. When we part, her eyes are watering, oh no….I dread moments like this. “Siobhan what’s wrong?” I am looking her directly in the eyes. She reaches into her purse and gives me a magazine that was rolled up so it fit in her bag. I unroll it and stare at the cover, it is a famous gossip magazine in the UK called ‘Oops!’ and one of the headlines is : “One Direction, Love Direction”. Beneath this headline is a picture of the group. I look to her, and she has once again gone stoic and hard to read. Gut tells me to open the magazine so I do, and I try to find the article. When I find it, my heart sinks and my stomach tightens. There is a picture of Harry with Caroline Flack, then there is a picture of me and Rebecca holding hands backstage. I remember that exact moment sourly. I had been nervous, and she had just been giving me a pep talk. Someone must’ve snapped the picture and it looks like more than it is. But after last night, I question things…more than I should. I don’t even bother to read the blurb under the picture because I can put two and two together.

“I saw the way she was looking at you during the big performance.” Siobhan tells me, her voice is like stone. I too noticed Rebecca looking at me during the performance with all the contestants, but I wanted so bad to ignore it and focus. “It was the way I look at you”

I am silenced, she doesn’t look at me expecting for me to speak, she just looks at me the way one would look at a starry night. “This isn’t…”

“I know” she responds. I am relieved, but her sadness is a reminder that something isn’t right. “But this reminds me that things are a lot more complicated”

“How so?”

“Because you are famous now” she reaches up and strokes my face. The “F” word, how much more ugly can it get. She told me I was famous, but to her I wanted to be the same Zayn from school.

“So what…I’m the same boy from school”

She leans forward and kisses me softly. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to me, I want you to live your dreams” and as she speaks, I catch onto what she is trying to say. She is breaking up with me, because… “Zayn right now things are complicated”

“Only if you let them be” I feel like I am a fish without water. “Siobhan…”

“We can go to dinner tonight, but after tonight lets just be friends, ok?” she is searching my eyes. “They are waiting on us”, she steps back and walks out of the dressing room.

Two months ago, I laid with her and her fingers ran through my hair.

One month ago, I auditioned for the X Factor and made it

Present time, she flew to spend a weekend with me, only to realize things were complicated. Complicated.

And she leaves me, alone, to un complicate things….

It just makes it worse.

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