Sound Of Madness(COMPLETE)

(NOW FINISHED) Siobhan Kline has just started junior year. She doesnt expect much from it, she doesnt think anything special will happen. Nothing special happens to her. She has two close friends, a 1976 mustang, her author mother Loretta and her pet hamster LuLu. This is her life. Until she is partnered with the new boy Zayn Malik. He just moved to town and all the girls seemed to take an interest in him.
All the boys want to be his friend.
But he couldnt care less

Zayn Malik fanfiction ----Not Famous

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22. blindness vs. clarity

Zayn

 

I bet your wondering why, why did I break up with Siobhan. On the outside everything was fine, in fact to an outsider I am sure it seemed fine. But arriving in Jersey after seven months away made me realize that I am more of an outsider to the world I had thought I belonged in. Because of fame, and One Direction, I was skyrocketed to a level I hadn’t known existed. Now I am on a plane at least three times a week, never in one place for too long, and I cant keep Siobhan happy. That was the most important thing. I couldn’t please her, I wasn’t there. It was bad during X Factor, but now, the distance is worse. I have a perfect life, with the most imperfect circumstances.

Her party goes on to the early morning, and by the time we go, she is fighting to keep her eyes open. I hug her goodnight, and I tell her I will stop by the next day but she is quiet and hugs me with only one arm. Olive, Paco, Damien and Giancarlo stay with her.

“What happened” Harry asks me as we get ready for bed at uncle Tom’s. He sits Indian style and looks at me. He knows I broke up with her. “I thought you two were…”

“Yeah…well, it wasn’t fair to her. I’m away all the time”

“I guess with fame, that’s a gamble people have to take” he responds. “You love her though, don’t you”

“Yes but we are young, we will love a lot before we get it right.”

He looks at me like I have just told him the world is ending. “I believe even you know your lying” he scoffs some. “We are young, but that doesn’t mean we love any less” he says this as if he is most confident. “I believe we can love just as strong and passionate as any adult”

“Maybe so” I sigh .

“Do you think she could have been your forever?” Harry is the hopeless romantic one. Him and Liam both.

“Maybe”, I look at him then at Louis who is busy on his cell. “I am not talking about this anymore.

Siobhan

Paco and I sit at the edge of my pool dipping our feet in the cold water. He is the last person here, it is three in the morning and my parents are upstairs asleep. Paco is good at listening and giving his opinion, but even he was wary of what to say. Clearly, I wasn’t in the best of moods. “He doesn’t know what he had bella” he uses his Spanish to distract me from my feelings, which doesn’t work. I still feel bad…ugly even. Pacos tan hand runs up my back. “Be grateful for everything you have and stop dwelling on those you don’t. Siobhan, you look like someone told you there was no Santa Clause”

I shake my head and stand, he mimics my movements and follows me inside the house. “You know what you need” he tells me leading me to the wine cellar in the basement. I can already put two and two together. “You’ve never had a drink have you”

“No” I respond quickly. He is looking at me with a ghost of a smile and grabs a random wine bottle. It is from 1994 and it has a picture of Italy on the bottle. “Why?”

“It’ll ease your nerve.” He says pulling the cork from the bottle and handing it to me. I take a whiff of it, it smells like…I cant even describe it. It smells strong though, and without hesitating, I take a sip. Every hair on my body stands on end and I am disgusted. Paco laughs and takes the bottle sipping from it. He doesn’t even wince. “Oh Siobhan, this is like apple juice what’s that face for”

“Are you kidding me?” I am stunned, maybe he’s used to harder stuff…like tequila or vodka. “That stuff is strong”

“Only to a lightweight like you” he takes another sip and gives me the bottle. “You forget I’m Mexican…trust me bella, I’ve drunk worse”

I take a big gulp, and we go to the couch in the basement. By the four o clock, my head is spinning just a bit. “My head feels fuzzy”

“That means you have had enough” he takes the bottle from me and sets it on the coffee table in front of us. “I wanted to ease your nerves not get you drunk”

“I don’t think I am drunk” which is true…I wasn’t, was I? I look at Paco, and his eyebrows pull together. “Do you drink often?” I ask.

“No, I used to. I’ve had an interesting life…last year before junior year started, I vowed to stay away from the old life and start a new one”

My eyes narrow. “I was in a gang, and things were getting vicious. I knew if I stayed, I wouldn’t live to see my eighteenth birthday let alone anything else”

“That bad?”

“Siobhan, I saw my best friend get shot for retaliation against the leader. Two bullets to the back of his head, then they beat the crap out of him and left him there to be found by some poor stranger or god knows what” he shakes his head and scratches his chin. “I used to think I needed to be in the gang, to support my family. My little brother was just 11 at the time and my mother could only legally work so many hours at the diner. We struggled a lot. And I thought it was easy money, they gave me a gun, and I would go claim drug debts.” he speaks with a low voice, and his eyes are distant, I can tell he is remembering things he hopes to forget.

“Did you ever kill anyone?” I ask suddenly intrigued with him. He has seen all sides of the world, the good, the bad and the ugly.

“No” he looks at me, his deep brown eyes focusing on my own. “I could never take someone’s life. I would just scare people into paying their debts, wave the gun at them if necessary, but it was never loaded”

My hand finds his, for the first time since I have ever met him, Paco Fuentes seems human. “It’s ok, at least you got out…alive”

“Barely” he swallows. “the summer before junior year, I told the leader that I would do anything to leave and he did to me what they did to all the other guys who wanted to leave”, one of his eyebrows raises and I nod, urging him on. “Basically, they handcuff you and blindfold you, and all members of the gang surround you. For thirty seconds, they beat the living shit out of you and if one of them pulls a gun..” he shrugs. I am horrified, and it seems too vicious to be real. His eyes glaze. “Lets just say, I spent the whole summer before junior year healing, and learning how to use my left arm again” he looks away and sighs. “I don’t usually talk about it”

“Paco” I am at a loss for words. My whole life, you could say I had things easy and I still complained. I complained about the littlest things, with no consideration for the world around me. And here Paco was, living in the same town as me, but enduring hell. In this moment of clarity, I see my friend in a brand new way. He is a vulnerable young man, not the hard ass Paco Fuentes as usual. He is insecure, he is feeling low as he opens up. His past truths cause him to blossom in my mind, as a different Paco Fuentes. Still masculine, still strong, still beautiful, but now he is weak in the most beautiful way.

“I don’t expect you to understand” he gestures around us. “You’re house is massive, your clothes are designer…your -” I silence him with the shake of my head.

“Paco those are material things. Here I am, complaining that my boyfriend dumped me and you carry around that kind of weight with you….there is no comparison, I am so sorry”, I look him in the eyes, and his full lips unzip into a sincere smile. “It sounds weird, but I understand you.”

“And you don’t judge me” he adds.

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