twilight, breaking dawn, part 1- alternate ending

The ring felt heavy on my finger, its luminous stone weighing down my finger like a million lies. i loved Edward. He was my boyfriend, my sweetheart. Without him I just wouldn't be me. Just as I settled Edwards idea of a car, into a somewhat less dangerous speed, I passed a million flyers plastered with Jacobs face. It felt like a punch in the gut. So overcome with pain, I nearly hit the rusting truck in front of me. My hands fumbled for the brakes just in time. And as the light turned green and the car in front of me slugged off. I sat in a puddle of histaria and tears whilst cars swerved round me, his face imprinted on my mind. Jacob. Where are you? Jacob was my best friend. My sunshine. My happiness. My laughter... and the one with whom I had imprinted. My one true love. With out him, I wouldn't be anything.

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5. chapter 5

No wonder Alice kept looking at me strangely- she wanted to know who the father was. And Edward- He was so unsure. Maybe they thought I had a sperm donar? No one would undermine my eternal love for Edward, of course. But maybe they thought I wanted a child that badly- I couldn't hold on to any of my conspiracy theory's long enough to reason it through.  Now I knew that I was the only one who knew what was going on. and I had almost overcome the surprise of being a mother... I remembered the joy in my visions.

The unconditional love for my own off spring. The thought of growing  old with Jake. Having grand kids. In my histaria I had slowly begun to realize  it was possible. We had a future. And my happiness over rode any of my other logical thoughts.Such as- Edward knew that I knew, why wasn't he here. And how much hurt I was going to cause him leaving him for Jacob. None of that mattered. I was too selfishly deluded.

"Your going to be a great mum," What Jamelia said should have been the worst thing- any one else would probably break down crying again. But because I actually wanted a baby now. It made me smile. I'd said it. I want a baby. I want Jacob's children. I want our family. Leah had lost her mojo with all my crying and patted me on the shoulder awkwardly. "It'll be fine," And for the first time in a month, I believed her.

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