twilight, breaking dawn, part 1- alternate ending

The ring felt heavy on my finger, its luminous stone weighing down my finger like a million lies. i loved Edward. He was my boyfriend, my sweetheart. Without him I just wouldn't be me. Just as I settled Edwards idea of a car, into a somewhat less dangerous speed, I passed a million flyers plastered with Jacobs face. It felt like a punch in the gut. So overcome with pain, I nearly hit the rusting truck in front of me. My hands fumbled for the brakes just in time. And as the light turned green and the car in front of me slugged off. I sat in a puddle of histaria and tears whilst cars swerved round me, his face imprinted on my mind. Jacob. Where are you? Jacob was my best friend. My sunshine. My happiness. My laughter... and the one with whom I had imprinted. My one true love. With out him, I wouldn't be anything.


2. chapter 2

Inside billy was lounging back on the sofa watching football with Charlie. Their beer cans placed strategically on their knees and their heads bent forward in concentration as if they could will their team to win. I sighed quietly in exasperation and inconspicuously crept upstairs after placing the groceries I had bought in the fridge. As much as I told myself I was fine... I just wasn't ready to be with people. All the washing up, hoovering, dusting and ironing was done and I didn't know what to do with myself. Without school, surprisingly, I was lost.

I put the shower on full blast and closed my eyes and the hot water soothed my aching shoulders- they had been so hunched lately, it pained me to put a bag over my shoulder. More relaxed then I'd felt in weeks I put on my tank top and jogging bottoms, dragging it out- reluctant to go back to my room and do nothing... I spent ages tidying the bathroom then left- might as well face the truth, I thought as I dawdled back to my room, I'm lonely  without Jacob... I slouched in and nearly shrieked in excitement at the blessed figure that stood by my window in the half-light. I ran up behind him throwing my arms around his neck. My soaking hair splashed his shirt and I looked as though I had bruises under my eyes due to lack of sleep, but I didn't care. Jacobs home...

He turned his head, and it felt like one of those dreams where you run up to a friend and it turns out to be a monster. "hello love," Edward smiled with his silky voice that used to make me melt.

"Oh, its you,"  A weight came down on my heart and I suppressed the tears, of which I was so sure I had run out of.

"Who else were you expecting?" As soon as he said it, I could see he regretted it. "I know you miss him, his your best friend." He wrapped his strong arms around me but the dull ache in my heart didn't lessen. Why did he comfort me, even when he knows he's fiancée would have rather had been hugging her best friend whom she had not so long ago kissed? Why was he so good? I remembered the first time I had kissed Jacob, the surprise and then the tidal wave of guilt. "I can't be happy without him," I had told Jacob, "You've never tried, you could be happy if you let go, you could be happy with me," I had ignored him... Then the second time, my visions of tanned children, who's faces seemed so  familiar I wondered if they were distant related. Edward knew this, yet he forgave me...

All this thoughts seeped through my head all the whilst Edward held me lovingly in his arms. I was a terrible person... I stepped back feeling hatred for myself. Thank God he hadn't noticed how off hand I'd been with him... "There's a new werewolf down at la push, another child as completed the change." His words shocked me as much as the disgusted expression on his face. He'd never hated the werewolves "I thought you liked Seth," I questioned, taken aback by his convulsion directed at the werewolves.

"I do... and they shouldn't have to go through that at such a young age," Again he was only thinking of the welfare of others and had reminded me what a cruel, evil person I was. "Oh" I agreed, slightly embarrassed, "Who was he?" I quickly changed the subject.

"Not he... she." He's face expressed only concern for her.  

"Another female?" Females were all but unheard of in werewolves. Leah was the first female we know of to have ever been changed. Apparently it was because of the number of vampires living in Forks, I ignored the guilty feeling in my stomach- I already wanted to kill myself. "I'm going down there tomorrow," He nodded sullenly.

"Tonight, Edward you can't cross the treaty! Why would you do that?" I still loved him so much it hurt and I cared about his safety more than I did my own. Why would he infuriate them?! "No, we've- my family and I, have been invited, we have to discuss some new  terms because of  our" He smiled sweetly  "arrangement," Ignoring the sting of the comment, I focussed on the wrongness of it... They are letting him cross the border just because were getting married? Something in his eyes looked guilty and although I wasn't the best judge of lying, I had known him too long to believe him.

"But why not mention it before? They've known this for ages... and they didn't even let you cross the boarder when we fought the new- born's!" I shivered at the memory but held firm,"And if its about us, I'm coming," I tried to hold my chin out arrogantly but felt like a child. 

"Bella, I don't want you to hear them discuss you as if you were an object and not a person" He's miserable excuse annoyed me and I knew their was something he wasn't telling me. "Billy will let me come, one of them will pick me up. I'm coming," He of course regretted telling me but shook his head decisively ,

"They won't" He replied. I knew it wasn't right-  I hated my self for it more than anything else... But I actually cried, I let as my pain open up and cried. "Why are you crying?" He probed, looking confused. What I replied was the biggest of all my evil's. "It's just... If Jacob were here I  know he'd take me. I feel like a kid" I poured out my soul surprisingly convincingly and I saw him break. "I'm so sorry Bella, if I could take away your pain- I would, I'll pick you up at 7:00 on Sunday."

"Tomorrow?" I asked... was I ready to go back to La push? All that fighting too go, just so I could stand around and watch them argue and I wasn't even sure if I could go and not breakdown! No. I told myself firmly. That was not in vain- something isn't right and no one is laying their lives on the line for me, or hiding anything from me ever again! I'm going and that's final.

"Yes" He breathed almost inaudibly and disappeared from my room like a ghost, leaving me standing by the window alone.

"You all right bell's? I didn't realise you were back" Charlie yawned glancing round my room confused, "Are you on your own?"

"Of course Dad," Slightly comforted that he still looked out for me, even though i was legally an adult now (Mentally I had been one for years) I gave him a weak smile. "Huh" He looked around suspiciously before going back downstairs. And with nothing else to do I fell asleep.

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