twilight, breaking dawn, part 1- alternate ending

The ring felt heavy on my finger, its luminous stone weighing down my finger like a million lies. i loved Edward. He was my boyfriend, my sweetheart. Without him I just wouldn't be me. Just as I settled Edwards idea of a car, into a somewhat less dangerous speed, I passed a million flyers plastered with Jacobs face. It felt like a punch in the gut. So overcome with pain, I nearly hit the rusting truck in front of me. My hands fumbled for the brakes just in time. And as the light turned green and the car in front of me slugged off. I sat in a puddle of histaria and tears whilst cars swerved round me, his face imprinted on my mind. Jacob. Where are you? Jacob was my best friend. My sunshine. My happiness. My laughter... and the one with whom I had imprinted. My one true love. With out him, I wouldn't be anything.

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1. chapter 1

No one is staring at you, I promised myself. No one is staring at you. No one is staring at you.But, because I couldn't lie convincingly even to myself, I had to check. As I sat waiting for one of the three lights in town to turn green, I peeked to my right- in her minivan, Mrs. Webber had turned her whole torso to my direction.Her eyes bored into mine, and I flinched back, wondering why she didn't drop her gaze or look ashamed. It was still considered rude to stare at people, wasn't it? Didn't that apply to me any more? I locked my eyes on the door handle. Caught between wrenching it open and diving from the car and crashing into the man in front as an excuse to get rid of it.

I hate this car. I wasn't usually the one to make harsh judgements on an inanimate object. They couldn't hurt anyone. Well... usually. The light turned green and in my hurry to escape, I stomped on the gas without thinking.Engine snarling like a panther, the car jolted forward so fast my body slammed into the black leather seat and my stomach flattened against my spine. Aghast with pain and embarrassment I grimaced and tried to drive off without maiming anyone. Continuing my terrifying and possibly life threatening journey home, I focused on my ring reluctantly.

The ring felt heavy on my finger, its luminous stone weighing down my translucent hand like a million lies. I loved Edward. I told myself sadly. He was my boyfriend, my sweetheart. Without him I just wouldn't be me... Just as I settled Edwards idea of a car, into a somewhat less dangerous speed, I passed a million flyers plastered with Jacobs face. It felt like a punch in the gut... He doesn't even know. So overcome with pain, I nearly hit the rusting truck that had stopped the traffic lights in front of me. My hands fumbled for the brakes just in time. And as the light turned green and the car in front of me slugged off. I just sat in a puddle of histaria and tears whilst cars swerved round me, his face imprinted on my mind. Jacob. Where are you? Jacob was my best friend. My sunshine. My happiness. My laughter... and the one with whom I had imprinted. My one true love. With out him, I wouldn't  be anything.

I collected myself quickly, wiping my eyes with my sleeve and taking the deep breaths I had practised .Tapping the gas cautiously I turned round the nearest corner on the familiar route home. When Edward left, even before I had imprinted on Jacob, Jacob managed to make me smile. But now Jacob had gone- with no promise of even staying away. Edward couldn't even manage a smirk out of me. That's what made me realise, that I loved Jacob to much to marry Edward. Before Jacob left, I agreed to Edwards terms easily. Edward was my one true love. The wrongness of that thought stung. I thought he was my one true love...

But when Jacob left I felt it straight away. The tugging sensation in my heart. the coldness. The screaming voice in my head telling me to let go of Edwards loving hands. I accepted the fact I could not be happy without hurting one of them. And resigned myself to the fact I could never be with one of them. But my head told me to go through with the wedding plans. I had already hurt Jacob, why hurt Edward as well? My heart longed otherwise... I pulled up at my house surprisingly neatly, right behind Billy's car. Rubbing my eyes furiously I pulled back my hair with a weak sense of determination.

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