A story that has been waiting to be written for a very long time. A story based on very true events that took place in my life only a few years ago. A story of love, passion and heartbreak.


1. Hope

I sat between my two sisters in the back of our old volvo; one 5 years younger than me, one 1 year older than me. We kept silent, Take That blasting out "Rule the World" on the ancient sterio. We gave each other a thumbs up with our eyes. Something was different. We could all sense it. My gaze fixed on the back of our parents' heads in the front of the car. Dad driving; mum in the passenger seat. Gradually my eyes slid down to the compartment inbetween the two front seats, where our parents' hands were joined.

The 3 of us also joined hands. We knew this was a rare momet to cherish. It had been 2 long months that Mum had ingnored Dad. It wasn't even as if he'd done anything wrong, but then he didn't need to. We all knew how she didn't need a reason. 2 long months of silent conversation. It had been hell. After all, poor Dad hadn't even started the argument.

I crouched with Jane under the desk; my arms wrapped around her, while big fat tears rolled down my cheeks. They'd been at it for almost an hour and I didn't know how much more I could take. I could just make out the muffled sound of Dad crying. He never cried. It broke my heart.

"So get a bloody divorce then" I winced at the sound of Mum's harsh voice and swearing.

I covered Jane's ears. She didn't need to hear this. I couldn't leave Dad on his own any longer. Taking care not to disturb Jane for she had finally fallen asleep, I got up, my legs sore from crouching for so long. I crept over to the door and opened it, the shouting immediately clearer. I shut the door, so Jane wouldn't be disturbed and stood on the landing. At least I didn't have to worry about Lizzie. She was out with Max, as usual. Suddenly, a plate crashed to the floor and I hurried downstairs, unable to take much more.

"STOP" I screamed. Mum turned around to look at me, her eyes livid with anger and hatred.

"Did I ask you to get involved?" She spat at me.

I stepped around the broken ceramic scattering the floor to where Dad sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. I put an arm around him wanting to protect him from her.

"Leave.........him...........alone" I managed to splutter out. It took a great deal of courage to get that out. Mum shook her head with outrage before storming past us and out the door, slamming it shut. My body trembled with releif and I collapsed in a heap. I had never stood up to her like that before.

Slowly, I led Dad through to the living room where a nice fire burned away and made him a cuppa. "There you go" I put it in his hands. He looked up at me gratefully.

"Thanks Holly" He whispered. Then I set to work clearing away the mess on the kitchen floor. Once all the glass was swept up I went back upstairs. Jane was sat on the bed reading.

"Has it stopped" She asked me. I nodded. And burst into tears. She just sat next to me stroking my hair.

It was after midnight when I heard the car door slam shut. I got out of my warm bed and peered out the window. Mum was staggering towards the house, while her lift went drove off. If she got a lift she must be drunk. I hurried downstairs with some blankets and lay them on the sofa. She wasn't going to disturb Dad at this time of night. Mum crashed through the door looked at me through bleary eyes.

"Why?" She said. I shook my head.

"You're drunk Mum" I led her to the sofa where she crashed out. I placed a bucket next to the sofa in case she was sick in the night. I didn't think I would sleep that night.

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