Finding You Again

I'm Gem. Not Gemma. Don't ask, okay?
You can think I'm the big bitch, slut and attention seeker.
That's who I am to everyone. As well as Harry Styles sister.
Sounds great huh?
Not when I'm a bitch to them as well.
But they don't know the whole story. No one does. Apart from Horan.
He's back and everything's suddenly changing.


1. Little Things


I pressed play and watched the video of me meeting him for the first time. That day was the day I found my best friend and fell in love. If I only knew back then. 

The little, clumsy girl had a cheeky grin on her face and was staring at the Irish boy with warm and loving eyes. 

Watching this was one of the little things that made me feel safe because it reminded me of the good times that vanished.

I think it was the only thing that made me forget about reality.I stared at myself in the mirror and knew I had changed and I mean, really changed. 

I knew I was nothing like before. There wasn't a trace of the bright eyed girl that used to be. Her eyes were dull like they'd given up years ago because SHE had. The story was hidden, though. Hidden under layers of depression.


Today we were on a plane to Holmes Chapel. In other words, Harry's house. He didn't look too happy about it because he was trying to avoid a specific someone, who I knew happened to be Gemma.

He was always lucky because she was never there. Every time we visited she was apparently on 'a vacation'. As if.

My heart, emotionally, broke when the paparazzi spread rumors about her. I knew the truth and so did she.

That's why she made me swear to secrecy that I wouldn't tell another soul about her secret. People around her talked about her like she was shit and didn't matter, but she did. 

She was a great importance to me that it gave me a feeling to just shout out to the world about what she went through but Gemma's sweet voice, pleading me to promise would always run through my head. That promise was one to keep. 

I drifted into reality and suddenly realized I needed the toilet desperately so I started to make my way to the back of the first class jet. 

The last time I saw her I got the feeling that she wasn't telling me something, though. Hopefully that wasn't the very last time I will see her and this flight might be a flight to a reunion. 



I walked downstairs to help Anne cook the food after I slipped on beige colored chinos and a top saying 'Diet Coke'. I knew the Irish leprechaun had a habit of eating.

I smiled as I remembered all the times he nearly died of hunger although it'd been barely three hours till he ate last. God knows how he hasn't blown up yet.

The only reason I'm still here is because Anne, Harry's mum, begged me with her puppy dog eyes and I didn't want to disappoint anyone anymore.

Secretly, I think she knows that there's more to me than the press say.

If I stayed though, it meant that I would have to keep my head low so he wouldn't see me and by that, I didn't mean Harry. 

Whenever the boys visited I was never here because I could never face him. 

Niall. Niall Horan.

It would bring back the bad memories and I was weak. A coward.

I didn't want me again, it would be for the best. Anyway, he probably forgot about me. The doorbell rang just as the mince pie was ready to come out of the oven. 

"Oh honey, could you get that?" Anne asked.

I opened the door without knowing the consequences. 

And my eyes met with those familiar, loving, Irish blue ones I knew.

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