Broken

"Forever and Always." he said while giving me my new promise ring. It has been the best 2 years of my life with him but now all down the drain. I didn't think a orange letter could pain me so much. That was three years ago and I am still a bit Broken but a little healed with the help of my new fiance, Max Walls. I am not ready to face him and probably never but I know I will be completly healed after the wedding, next month. I don't want to be Broken but I am still. Broken........

Hiiii!!!! So some of you are probably wondering who that HE is, well i can't tell you! It's a mystery!!! You must read and later on in the fanfiction you will find out. I did this so I could make cliffhangers because I love you guys!!!! haha!! Please leave some comments telling me what you think!!! Thank you!!!!
Jenn XXX :D

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3. The nightmare

I was right. Another nightmare. They are always the same everynight. The exact nightmare and I always wake up crying.

I had just gotten home from the grocery store. All the grocerys were laying on the table and I was calling his name. There was no answer, just silence. I looked around our flat getting curious. I had finally given up and knew he was out or busy. I started heading my way to the kitchen but a bright orange peice of paper caught my attention. I slowly made my way to the new item and it had my name, Bella written across it. It was neatly folded and slighlty damp from tears? I unfolded the damp paper and saw lots of writing containing wet spots.

Dear Bella,
You are probably wondering what this is. Well its a letter telling you everything because I am not man enough to tell you in person. I want you to know that I love you so much. Forever and Always Bells. This was a hard desicion for me and I knew I picked the right one. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who can treat you the way I treated you, with love and I wish I could be that person. I will love you endlessly just remember that. I can't stand watching you suffer from the pain that the fans give you. It's not right. I wish I could forget about this and propose to you one day and have beautiful children and live the rest of our lives together but I have made my mind and that can't happen anymore. As much as I want it to, it can't. The fans won't leave you alone and so won't managment.
Its all my fault that you have little scars on you forearm. I love you so much that I am doing this to you. I want you to move on and forget about me but never forget our promise. I will have someone pack up my things and leave. I love you a lot and maybe we can start over one day. Fall in love all over again? Never forget our promise and I won't. I love you.
Yours forever

I woke up with the tears already streaming down my face. I quickly wiped them away but more came. The same nightmare came every night and I always ended up crying. That was how he left me. With a note. I looked at the time with blurry eyes and saw 7 o clock. I slowly got out of bed and ran silently to the bathroom. I washed my face to let myself calm down. He was my everything and all of a sudden he left. So what if managment made my life a living hell. All I wanted was him.
I ran back out the bathroom and heard my phone ringing. I quickly made my way to it and clicked answer.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey Bella." Said Louis. (now you can cross him.off your list!! Its not boobear! :D)
"Hey lou. Why call at this hour?"
"I knew you were awake. Nightmare?"
"Yeah." I said in a shaky voice.
"How about lunch today bella? Just us two?"
"Yeah that would be great. Max works today so today will be perfect."
"Okay awesome! Do you want to talk about the nightmare?"
"Its the same like every night."
"I thought that would happen. Do you want to know how he is?"
"No." I said in a shaky voice again. I don't let the boys tell me how he is because if I heard really good then I will just break even more. I don't want to hear that he is doing perfect because then I will know that he doesn't care about me anymore. I just won't let it happen.
"Okay thats fine. Go back to sleep Bella. You need it. I will ring you later. Hope you get to feeling better. Love you bella. Bye." He said.
"Okay I will try. Bye Lou and love you too. Thanks." I said. I hknew he had smiled and so with that I hung up. I put my phone back on the nightstand and quietly made my way back to my bed. I silently slipped in the duvet and snuggled myself back into Max's arms. Nightmares always broke me a little more and I just need to get past them. Was I even ready to face him yet? Broken is where I shall stay right now and Broken is where I am.

 

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