Blinded By You

6 months ago, I lost my eyesight. But life goes on, I attend university in London and one of my best friend's is Niall Horan, from One Direction. But he doesn't know I'm blind. Will he hate me when I tell him? Will he treat me the same? Will I fall for one of his bandmates...

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53. Idiocy & Apology

Oh boy, this was so hard to write!!!

I wanted to make his apology not cliched and unique and I'm not quite sure I achieved that, but I am proud of the result and I really hope you like it. :)

The song is Sorry by Daughtry.   Play it as you read...it'll set the mood

Love you all<333

 

 

Niall’s POV

 

 

“I’m such an idiot!” I groaned, head in my hands.

 

 

“No you’re not, you just made a mistake.” Liam tried to console me.

 

 

I shook my head, “A mistake that probably cost me not only my girlfriend, but also my best friend.”

 

 

As soon as Kodie had slammed the door in my face, I drove straight to Liam’s house. Liam sympathetically explained what had happened and as he recounted the events, the memories from last night came back full force.

 

 

An image appeared behind my closed eyes; the pain that crossed her face as I gripped onto her arm, not letting go even when she asked. I rubbed angrily at my eyes and another memory appeared; this time when Kodie’s face crumpled as I said that I couldn’t believe anything she said.

 

 

I stood up abruptly, making Liam jump, and began pacing the floor and then I turned to the wall. “Why.” Bang. “Am.” Bang. “I.” Bang. “So.” Bang. “Stupid?!” I stepped back, dizzy, from hitting my head.

 

 

“Ni, you need to stop beating yourself up and figure out a way to make this better.” Liam told me.

 

 

“What do you suggest?” I asked.

 

 

“I don’t know, mate.” He sighed and I groaned. Liam was the smart one out of us boys; if he didn’t know what to do, no one would. “Just apologize; give her a chance to cool down before you do anything. Anyways, I’ve seen the way she looks at you and I think that she’ll forgive you. She loves you as much, if not more, as you love her.” I looked up dubiously and he looked sincere. “Just listen to what she has to say; she wasn’t trying to hurt you, just like you weren’t trying to hurt her.”

 

 

I nodded; I need an incredibly good idea if I want Kodie to forgive me for being such a douche.

 

 

~`~`~`~`~`~`

 

 

“Rose, please; I really need your help.” I begged as I stood in front of her.

 

 

“You better have a damn good reason for showing up here after you hurt Kodie like that.” Rose shot me a glare. “She’s been up in her room listening to the most depressing songs since she got back from the hospital.”

 

 

Oh God, this was worse than I thought. Kodie never listened to sad songs, even after one of her worst breakups she still didn’t listen to upsetting songs.

 

 

“Listen, I know I was an idiot—,” I began.

 

 

“And a douche,” Rose interjected.

 

“And a douche,” I conceded. “But you know I would never hurt Kodie intentionally. While I was away, all I saw online and in magazines were articles and pictures saying that she and Ed were dating and I guess I was just insecure.  Rose, you have no idea how lost I’ve been without her; the boys are ready to buy a tranquilizer gun and shoot me with it. I just want to win her back. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Rose’s face remained impassive so I dropped to my knees. “Please, please, please Rose. Please help me get her back.”

 

 

Rose remained still before reaching down and pulling me back up. “Fine; I’ll help you. But if you put her through anything like this ever again, I will castrate you. Clear?” she said.

 

 

“Crystal,” I answered. “Now what do I need to do to gain her trust again?”

 

 

“First off, she’s not going to forgive you easily. Kodie was in tears when she told me that you said you couldn’t trust her; I think that above all else hurt her the most.” Rose told me and I felt a pain in my chest. “In order for her to forgive you, you’re going to have to make your apology sincere. Just singing her a song isn’t going to work this time.”

 

 

“Any ideas?” I asked hopefully.

 

 

“Well, last may she really wanted to go to the freshman formal dance that was in May, but she couldn’t because that was really soon after she lost her sight.” Rose stated thoughtfully. “You could do something with that.”

 

 

That’s right; May 18 marked the one year anniversary of Kodie going blind and unfortunately, I was away on tour and couldn’t be with her. I had really wanted to be there for her and even though she said it was alright, I felt almost like a failure; I couldn’t be there on the one day that meant so much to her and that killed me.

 

I grinned as an idea began forming in my head, “Once I have it all figured out, I’m going to need your help getting her there.”

 

 

“You got it dude,” Rose high fived me.

 

 

As soon as I returned home, I began planning out everything I’d need in order to make this a special night for Kodie.

 

 

I called a hotel and booked a ballroom; not a giant one, but one that’s big enough for what I planned to do. Next, I called a decorator and told them to make the ballroom look as amazing as possible; I know that even if Kodie can’t see what it looks like, she’ll know whether or not it’s decorated and I did not want to disappoint her. Then, I called the best deejay in London and had him prepare a playlist that had all of Kodie’s favorite songs on it.

 

 

Now all that was left is what to wear. And for this, I needed Rose’s expertise. I dialed her number, “Hey Rose, I need your help.”

 

 

“Already?” she laughed.

 

 

“I want you to go online or to a store and pick out a dress for Kodie or if you can think of an excuse, you can have her pick it out. I don’t care how much it costs; I just want her to love the dress.” I told her.

 

 

“Oh, this shall be fun.” Rose said and I could picture her evil grin from here.

 

 

“And make sure she’s at the Ritz hotel on Saturday, the 1st, at seven.” I instructed her.

 

 

“Got it,” she replied. It was silent before she added, “You really are sorry, aren’t you? It’s been less than an hour since we talked and it sounds like you have it all figured out.”

 

 

“I am; I really want to make things up to her. I know I screwed up, badly, but I miss her and I just want to make her happy.” I answered.

 

 

“Well, if all else fails, just kiss her. She can’t think properly after the two of you kiss,” Rose said, which she followed up by a gagging sound.

 

 

“Ha-ha, I bet it’s the same way with you and Jason,” I retorted which shut her up.

 

 

“Do you want my help or not?” she asked.

 

 

I laughed, “My apologies; just make sure she’s there okay?”

 

 

~`~`~`~`~`~`

 

 

“Hello?” Kodie’s voice called.

 

 

I motioned for the band to get ready to play as I saw Kodie walk through the doors, her high heels clicking against the floor.

 

 

“Hello?” she called again.

 

 

“Kodes, you’re probably still mad at me and I don’t blame you, but will you give me a chance to make things right?” I asked, my voice pleading.

 

 

Kodie had stiffened at my words, but after a couple of seconds of silence, she nodded, “Okay.”

 

 

I gave the signal to the band to begin the song I felt explained how I felt at this moment.

 

Will you listen to my story?

It’ll just be a minute

How can I explain?

Whatever happened here;

Never meant to hurt you

How can I cause you so much pain?

 

When I say I’m sorry,

Will you believe me?

Listen to my story;

Say you won’t leave me.

When I say I’m sorry,

Can you forgive me?

When I say I’ll always be there,

Will you believe? Will you believe me?

 

This was one of the most important performances of my life. If I didn’t prove to Kodie that I was truly and completely sorry, I would lose the one thing that means everything to me. I couldn’t let that happen.

 

All the words that I come up with,

They’re like gasoline on flames.

There’s no excuse, no explanation;

Believe me, if I could undo what I did wrong

I’d give away all that I own.

 

When I say I’m sorry,

Will you believe me?

Listen to my story;

Say you won’t leave me.

When I say I’m sorry,

Can you forgive me?

When I say I’ll always be there,

Will you believe?

 

Kodie’s eyes were beginning to water; I took her hand in mine and pulled her close to me. I lightly held onto her waist with my other hand as I swayed to the music; I sang, to her and for her.

 

If I told you I’ve been cleaning my soul;

And if I promise you I’ll regain control;

Will you open your door?

And let me in?

 

Take me, for who I am,

And not for who I’ve been,

Who I’ve been.

 

When I say I’m sorry,

Will you believe me?

Listen to my story;

Say you won’t leave me.

When I say I’m sorry,

Can you forgive me?

When I say I’ll always be there,

Will you believe?

 

Gently, I guided one of her hands and placed it over my heart, holding it there with my hand; I’m pretty positive she could hear it beating, that’s how much she affected me. I lifted a hand to her face and gently stroked her cheek, wishing and hoping she could find it in her heart to forgive me.

 

When I say I’m sorry,

When I say I’m sorry,

When I say I’m sorry,

When I say I’m sorry,

When I say I’m sorry,

Can you forgive me?

When I say I’ll always be there,

Will you believe?

 

The notes faded out and we stood there in silence. “I am really and truly sorry for the other day; I had no right to accuse you of cheating and that was wrong. I should have come to talk to you first and you have every right to hate my guts. But I hope that you can forgive me and give me a second chance; I won’t mess up, I promise.” I told her, wanting to get everything off my chest because even if she told me she wanted nothing to do with me, I wanted to make sure she knew I was sorry. “Do you forgive me?” I asked, wary of what her answer would be.

 

 

Kodie remained in the same spot and I could see the thoughts and emotions crossing her face. After a minute, she reached up and cupped my face in her hands. “Yes, I forgive you.” Kodie told me.

 

 

I grinned like I had won the lottery before closing the gap and pressing my lips to hers.

 

 

This, right here and right now, with Kodie, was where I was meant to be.

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