Summer Love *Harry Styles Love Story*

Marissa is determined to have the most amazing summer ever. Her family, along with her cousin, Louis Tomlinson's family go up to a lake house every summer. This year, Louis brings his four best mates. There's just one problem. Marissa can't stand Harry. And the feeling is mutual.

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16. Falling

Harry's POV

  "Harry has crush! Harry has a crush!" Louis sang dancing around his room. I rolled my eyes.   "I don't like her," I protested.   "Sure you don't," Louis replied, his tone making it seem like he didn't believe me at all.   "Louis, really. I have no feelings for her, at all. We're just friends," I told him.   "For now," he smirked. "But I can see it in your eyes. When you're with her, your eyes light up and you can't stop smiling."   "That's not true," I argued. "I don't like her."   "Yes, you do," Louis smirked.   "No, I don't."   "Yes, you do," he sang walking over and sitting next to me on the bed. He slung an arm over my shoulders and whispered, "Marissa."   That was all I needed for my cheeks to turn bright red. I smiled, somehow finding interest in playing with my hands. "You like her, you like her, you like her!"   I shook my head, my smile fading. "It doesn't matter. She doesn't like me back, she's still in love with Conner," I said sighing sadly. "If she was over Conner, we would have never had to do this in the first place. It's all to make him jealous," I told him.   "Well, I think that the two of you like each other more than you lead on. I don't think you were supposed to start liking each other, I think it just kind of happened. You were pretending to fall in love, but now, you actually are," Louis smiled.   I shrugged. I still don't believe she actually has feelings for me. This is all fake. That's all it will ever be. And that fact kills me. I don't want it to be fake. I want to be able to hold her when no ones around, kiss her, hug her, make her feel loved. I just- I want her.   Damn. How did I end up falling so hard and fast for this girl? This girl that I never ever imagined I would fall for. This girl that no longer than a month ago, hated me and the feeling was mutual.   Why did this happen? It's only going to end badly. If we get together and if we don't, it will lead to heartbreak. At least for one of us.   If we do get together, I have to leave at some point. I don't want to put her through a long distance relationship like that and honestly, I don't want to go through it either. So, it's either a frustrating long distance relationship or we break up before I leave.   And if we never get together, we'll never know what could have happened. We won't know if it would have worked out, we won't know if we could fall in love. We won't know anything.   I don't know if I can do this. I don't think I'm going to be able to handle being near her and not being able to call her mine. I really really like her, and if she doesn't feel the same, I don't know what I'm going to do.   ***   "Hey baby," I whispered wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. She giggled turning her head to look at me.   "Hello," she smiled. I grinned leaning down to peck her nose. She scrunched it up in the most adorable way. She's just- so cute.   I need to stop.   "What are we doing today?" Marissa asked turning to face everybody else.   Lou shrugged, takin his piece of toast from the toaster and spreading peanut butter on it. "We can do whatever, we don't have anything planned."   "We should go to the beach!" Kaycee suggested.   Everyone agreed and soon we were off to get ready for the beach.   Marissa's POV   I stood in front of the mirror in nothing but my bikini. I cringed at the sight. I hate my body. I hate it more than anything in the world. I just want to be skinny.   Looking closer, I could see the faint, white marks covering my stomach and thighs. Scars. Running my fingers over the scars on my stomach, I felt sick. I'm so ugly. I'm not even wearing makeup. I look terrible. No one could ever love me. No one could ever love someone as fucked up as I am.   Especially not Harry.   He's perfect. Not only is he a world famous superstar, but he's just an amazing person. He's so sweet and caring. He's the most attractive person I've ever met. Why would be want me? Exactly. He doesn't. He can't. And he never will.   He could have any girl he wanted. There's no way he'd pick me. There are so many beautiful girls out there, they're so much prettier than me. Skinnier than me. Better than me.   And I get it. It's okay. I wouldn't pick me either.   I pulled my t-shirt over my head and slipped a pair of denim shorts on, making sure none of my scars were noticeable. I threw my hair into a messy bun and walked out of my room.   "Ready?" Louis asked.   I nodded. I didn't dare talk, I was too scared my voice would crack or I'd start crying.   "You okay?" I heard that familiar husky, British accent ask as he came up beside me, intertwining our fingers.   "Of course," I faked a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"   He shrugged. "You just seem really quiet and I feel like something's wrong," he said softly, squeezing my hand.   "I'm fine," I lied.   I had gotten pretty good at using that lie over the past few years. I said it so often, I almost believed it myself. Almost. Then I remembered, I'll never be okay. I'll never be fine. I'm a fuck up. A mistake. I'm not meant to be here. I'm not meant to be happy. And I'm definitely not meant to be fine.   "Are you sure?" He asked.   "Yeah," I nodded. Why did he care so much anyway?   The rest of the walk was silent. And not a very comfortable silence either. We walked a few steps behind everyone else, our hands swinging back and forth.   Maybe he does care.   I couldn't help but smile at the thought. Even though I knew I wasn't true, I could at least pretend. Just like he's pretending to care.   I hadn't even realized we had arrived at the beach until I felt the warm sand between my toes. I hesitantly let go of Harry's hand, almost immediately missing the feeling of warmth and security. I don't know why, but Harry just makes me feel safe. I feel like when I'm with him, nothing bad could ever happen. I felt empty without him by my side.   We set up the beach blanket and umbrella, Kaycee accidentally blowing sand at everyone as she set up the blanket. It was funny, but I didn't laugh.   After everything was all set up, everyone ran to the water. I took a seat in one of the beach chairs, watching everyone have fun. "You coming?" Harry asked as he lifted his shirt over his head. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on his face, but I failed and they traveled down his flawless body. He had to have been working out. His abs looked more defined and his biceps were slightly larger than before. I tore my eyes away, looking back up to his face, a smug smirk forming on his lips.   "Like what you see?" he asked cockily.   I rolled my eyes a slight blush forming on my cheeks as he took a seat next to me. "Seriously though, what wrong?" He asked, sounding concerned.   "Nothing."   "Why are you so quiet?"   I shrugged, my eyes wandering everywhere but to him.   "Marissa," Harry stated softly, resting his hand on my thigh. I flinched slightly, hoping my shorts covers the scars. "you know you can trust me, right? You can tell me anything, I promise."   I looked down feeling the tears form in my eyes. I would not cry in front of him. Crying makes you look weak, I refuse to cry.   "Please tell me what's making you so upset," he said, lifting my chin so I was looking into his gorgeous green eyes. "don't cry," he said softly, noticing my glossy eyes.   I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut hoping that made the tears go away. I wish I could tell him. I really do. But I can't. If I told him everything I was thinking right now, he'd think I was a total freak.   "I can't," I whispered.   "Why not?" He questioned, his hands cupping my cheeks.   "I just can't."   He hesitated before sighing and dropping his hands. I missed the feeling of his touch. I wanted to hold him and never let go. I wish he felt the same way about me.   "Well, I'm going to go into the water," he said. "Do you want to come?"   I shook my head slowly.   He hit his lip and sighed before standing and making his way to the water.   Harry's POV   I looked up to where Marissa was sitting. She hadn't moved. I wish she would tell me what's bothering her. Does she not trust me?   "You okay mate?" Niall asked wading over to me. We were in at about waist deep. The waves weren't too harsh, it was pretty calm actually.   "Yeah, I'm just worried about Marissa," I said glancing back up to her. She was sitting in the same exact spot in the same exact position. She hadn't moved at all.   "What's going on?" He asked worriedly.   "I wish she would tell me," I sighed. "She won't tell me anything and it's scaring me."   He nodded. "She has been acting weird lately," he stated.   Thinking about it more now, I realize she really had been actin different. It wasn't her eating habits, she had actually been eating normally for a while now. But she's been really quiet. That's definitely not normal.   "I just hope she's okay," I said running a hand through my hair. "I wish she would talk to me about it."   "She'll talk when she's ready," Niall smiled. I nodded, hoping she'd be ready to talk soon.     Marissa's POV   I hate this. I feel like- I don't know. I really don't know how I feel. I just know it's not right. I feel restless. I don't want to sit. I want to move. But I can bring myself to move. I feel like I'm dead on the inside, but I'm physically alive. Like my brain can't send the signals to the rest of my body, telling them to move.   I want to scream.   I'm tired but I have so much energy. But I can't use any of that energy because I can't move. I don't like this.   It's like when you're in a coma. You know what's going on around you, but you can't react to it.   I noticed people starting to walk towards me. They're laughing and pushing each other around. Oh, they're my friends.   "Hey, Marissa," Louis smiled. I turned my head slowly and smiled a small smile. "We're going on a walk on the boardwalk, you wanna come?"   Yes.   I shrugged. "C'mon Marissa, you're going." He said as he picked me up throwing me over his shoulder. I didn't kick or scream or try to fight it. I just laid there, limp on his shoulder.   I felt myself being lowered down onto the ground. We were on the boardwalk. I felt a hand snake around my waist and automatically knew it was Harry. "I really hope everything's okay," he whispered kissing my temple.   I stopped walking and wrapped my arms around his torso hugging him tightly. He instantly hugged back, kissing the top of my head. "Thank you, Harry," I whispered into his chest.   "For what?" He asked pulling back to look at me.   "For caring," I said softly looking down.   He placed two fingers under my chin, lifting my head to look at him. "I'll always care. I'll always be here for you if you need me," he smiled.   I nodded hugging him again. I really needed this. No talking. Just hugging. Just knowing that someone cares. I know he's not Lyon when he says he cares. I know I can trust that he'll always be here for me.   He pulled me closer to him as we walked a bit faster trying to catch up with everybody else. I frowned, watching Kaycee and Conner. They were so in love. Who am I to try and get in the way of that? Yes, I still have feelings for Conner. But he was my first real love, can you blame me?   I don't even think Kaycee's noticed I've been gone. Physically and mentally. She's too caught up in her own love story.   "You're still in love with him, huh?" Harry asked quietly.   I stayed silent, confirming the answer he already knew.   "I shouldn't."   "You shouldn't what?" He asked.   "I shouldn't love him. He hurt me. He broke me. Why do I still love him?" I asked, looking up to meet his eyes.   "It's hard to get over a break up. Especially when they're now with your best friend," he said.   I sighed looking over to Conner. "I don't even want to be with him, though. So why do I still feel so attached? I want to be over him. I don't want to ruin him and Kaycee's relationship. I don't want to love him."   "I understand how you feel," he said. "I don't know, honestly. I guess you just need time. Or you just need to fall in love with someone else."   His words repeated in my mind. For the rest of the day, that's all I thought about. You just need to fall in love with someone else...   I think I'm already falling for you.       A/N: Thank you for reading! I have another chapter done, but i'm not going to post it until I get feedback. Though, I have an idea. I think I might re-write the first couple of chapters. I've gotten better as a writer since I started this story, so I'll try to make it better. Love you all :* mwah! xx
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