Fix Me

Brittany is a girl who have experienced something terrible in her childhood and that's why she's still having troubles with it. She's having hallucinations and that's why she always sees the same woman, who no one else can see. Is there anyone who can save her, after her therapist have done her best to help her? Find it out by reading! Hopefully you will enjoy this one :) x

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1. My story.

 

Three years back I, Brittany, experienced something that changed my life, but not in a good way. It was beginning of October and I was spending the weekend with my grandma and cousins in the countryside. My parents had divorced when I was 13 years old. So it was year before this tragedy happened. My mom had found a new man, who had been really nice to me and my younger sister. My dad had been alone after their divorce, but no one noticed that he had been so upset and needed help; he hid it too well. Anyway, while I was spending time with my grandma and other relatives, back at home my mom was doing work on the computer when her new lover was at work. Suddenly my dad had rushed in to our house and had pointed mom with a gun, crying. Then he did it, I can’t even say it because it hurts so much still. But after what dad did he realised what he had done and couldn’t stand it, so he ran away to the near forest, wrote a text message to his best friend and then he placed the gun to his right temple and pulled the trigger. The message he sent to his best friend included the words I’m sorry and I love you. He also told what he had done and how much he regretted it, so he had to do the same to himself. He said he couldn’t live without my mom, so now they both are living together up in the heaven.

Ever since this terrible family tragedy happened, I’ve been losing the track of my life. I was really close with my mom and she was the one I could have told everything. But now she’s gone and I have nobody. That sounds ironic, but it’s true. I kept all the pain inside of me and eventually I pushed others away from my life. I’m still living with my grandma, who is kind of old, so she spends lots of time trying to get used to live in the elderly house. My younger sister, who is now 15 years old is taking care of her and helping her as much as she can. I’m now 17 years old, but I spend most of the time outside, walking, going nowhere and trying to survive. My grandma is a lovely person and I really love her. She noticed that I needed help about year after the tragedy. So since then I’ve been going to the therapy, but I don’t think it has helped as much as it should have. I eventually started hanging out with bad people, I don’t know why thought. But it’s the one thing I regret a lot. Because of them I ended up trying GHB, which is a dangerous drug. I just tried it once, but that was still too much. I ended up seeing this same pale white woman with long road grey hair. And I still see her sometimes. No one else sees her, and it scares the shit out of me! She is just always standing in the corner or sitting on a chair, but always she’s staring at me, not saying a word. I got away from seeing her for a while, but it came back. My therapist is the only one who knows about this woman, and she has tried to help me, without any noticeable progress. But I’ve stopped hanging out with the bad people, but they are really cunning, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they found out my address and showed up to my door.

*

I woke up in the middle of the night breathing heavily. I had had a nightmare about the drug group rushing into my house.  Luckily it was just a bad dream. I got up to get a glass of mineral water; it usually calms me down after a bad dream or something like that. As soon as I reached the kitchen door I saw the woman again. I blinked and kept doing it, but she didn’t go away. I ran to my room and hid myself under the duvet. I cried like normally when I saw her during the night. I just hoped that some miracle would happen and I would be completely healthy again. But no, not now, not yet. I closed my eyes hoping not to see nightmares anymore that night. I still had few hours before I needed to get up and drag myself to school.  I really disliked school, mostly because of the people in there. Everyone started to be so mean to me after hearing about my therapy visits; someone had seen me going there and that’s when everything started. I seemed like I was strong from the outside and didn’t care about what others said to me or behind my back.  But actually every single bad word hurt me, maybe that was one reason I haven’t recovered completely from the traumas and trying the GHB. The only one I told something nowadays was my sister Alyssa, but I didn’t tell her everything anyways. But I kept saying to myself to stay strong, I was strong, I am strong.

I woke up to the alarm clock. I always woke up the same second the alarm went on. I looked around my room, and the scary woman was away, good. I got up from my bed not remembering the dream I have had after the nightmare. I walked to the kitchen where my sister was.

“Good morning to you too”, she said rolling her eyes.

“Morning”, I blurted and took one warm roll Alyssa had just baked. She went to school too, but she woke up early in the morning to prepare the breakfast and stuff like that. I walked out of the kitchen to the bathroom where I changed off my PJ’s and put on black jeans and army green jumper; it was already October so it started to get colder. I put on a little make-up and pulled my hair up, like I used to do. I didn’t dress like the girls on the drug groups. I was quite natural when it came to using make-up or doing my hair. But yet I liked to wear darker clothes, especially during the autumn and winter. Anyways, after I was done I left to school by bike. From where I now lived to my school was 3 miles, but I still wanted to go by bike, at least before I would get my driving licence. It took me the same quick 15 minutes it usually did.

When I arrived to school, as usual I saw a group of people looking at me with a disgusted look in their faces. But suddenly something got everyone’s attention, including mine. A really fancy white car arrived to the school’s parking lot. First a big guy in black got off the car, and after him, a guy with a brunette hair. He smiled widely to everyone. Some girls immediately ran to talk to him. I had no idea who he was, and I couldn’t be asked to even find out. I was curious, yes, but I didn’t want to go there and ask someone, because no one would tell me. When I walked up to the main door the school bell rang. Everyone rushed in to their classes. When everyone was seated the teacher started talking:

“Today we have a special guest to visit our school and tell us about the charity he is doing with his friends. I think most of the girls already noticed him and said hello to him, but his point is important. So everyone get up and follow me to the school theatre to hear what he has to say.”

Everyone got up in the same minute, at least all the girls did. Each one of them wanted to get the seats from the front. As soon as we arrived to the theatre it was filled. There were few seats in the back, so I just took a seat from there. The brunette guy who I had seen in the morning stepped to the stage and all the girls started screaming; I was wondering why. What was so special in this guy? When most of the girls had calmed down he started speaking:

“Hey all, my name is Louis Tomlinson and today I’m talking about bullying.”

He continued but all I heard was his first sentence. I wanted to disappear and tried to bury myself in to the chair. Luckily I was sitting in the back. I took a few deep breaths and started listening to him again. His words were heavy and you could see from his face that he seriously meant what he was saying. He seriously wanted to stop bullying and the charity work against bullying was amazing what he and his friends were doing. His performance actually made me smile a little, and it has been a while since I last time smiled like that. He ended his speech saying:

“If anyone of you has ever bullied someone, please stop it. You have no idea how much it hurts the one who gets bullied, and it can have serious consequences. Thank you so much for listening, if you have something to say about this work I’m doing you can come and talk to me after I have used the toilet, haha. Thank you again.” And then he left the stage and some people left to the corridors to spend their recess. I was still sitting in my chair thinking about his wise words. Some girls ran up to talk to him after he came back. After Louis was done taking pictures with them he noticed me. I looked concentrated while I was thinking. Other girls followed Louis giggling. As soon as Louis stopped next to me other girls rolled their eyes and left the theatre.

“Hey, is everything ok?” Louis asked.

I startled and shook my head.

“Hey, ummm yeah. I was just thinking about your speech, it was amazing!” I told him smiling awkwardly.

He took a seat next to me and smiled.

“Thank you, this is actually really important to me”, he said.

“Yes, I could see it from your words. It impresses what you’re doing”, I said looking down.

He smiled a little waiting for me to say something. I bit my lip and lifted my look from the floor.

“Why is every single girl chasing after you? Am I missing something?” I asked shyly.

“Not much, I’m in a boy band called One Direction. They know me from there, so most of the people who talked to me wanted to take pictures and didn’t actually want to talk about the issue why I’m here”, he said a bit disappointed.

I smiled to him and embraced his speech and how it had affected me. My look went up to the clock which was standing in the middle of the theatre’s wall.

“Oh shit, I’m already late from my class”, I said quickly getting up from my seat and rushing towards the door.

“WAIT!” Louis shouted from behind. I stopped and turned around.

“How can I get contact to you? I mean that it was really nice talking to you and you seemed to be interested in this charity against of bullying”, Louis asked looking first me and then to the floor.

I walked to him and gave him my phone. He typed his number and I gave him a quick call so he would get my number.

“Thanks, and have a nice day”, he said smiling.

I didn’t say a word, I just turned around smiling. It felt strange that someone had actually noticed me, and the weirdest thing in this was that he had enjoyed talking to me and wanted to talk to me again. I went to the class and sat down, ignoring the teacher who was complaining about how I was late. I didn’t care, I was happy that I had been noticed. 

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